(no subject)
I'm anxious to start school again. It looks like I will have to buy only book this term which makes me happy but still it's rather expensive. Over $100 expensive. Still though, I think last term I spent about $300 on books alone. I'm trying to get Michelle to take a nap. So far no sucess. I'm also giving this potty training thing another go. I'm getting sick and tired of this.
Tonight we drive to Lincoln City for Marci's 21st Birthday. I wont be getting drunk because Kyle and I have our last session of couple's conseling at 8:45 tomorrow morning. -_- So not looking forward to talking about relationship problems that early in the morning. Kyle chose the appointment to be that early because he has work later that day. Like at 10am at the earliest.
I have found myself in this horrible funk the past few months. Right after we started comming out of that Roseanne phase I've wanted another baby. Like really bad. Kyle says I must wait until he gets his degree and he can actually get a job in his field with that degree. So that would be when Michelle is about five. But, Kyle only wants one more kid. I want more. It seems to me like his opinion is the only one that flies when it comes to the matters of having babies. Um, hello who has the uterus again? It just doesn't seem fair that I don't have a say in this. He wont hear nothing of it either. He still doesn't spend quality time with Michelle really. He acts like the babysitter. Just sits there on his computer and yells at her when she does ANYTHING wrong. Very rarely do I see him sitting on the floor and playing with Michelle. I at least play with her. I have thought about everything that is going on a lot and started thinking okay why do you want to get pregnant again when things are sort of starting to get back to normal if your life? A part of me wants to have another baby now. Even though, I know it would just complicate things and make school harder. Though, I'd love for Michelle to have a sibling. I've seen the way she acts around Ruth's baby Kris. She seems ready to have a sibling. I need to at least get my ADN before I can have another baby though otherwise I'll never get to be a labor and delivery nurse, NICU nurse, or a Midwife. That's something that I am meant for so I need to think about that.. -_- And tell myself I will get my fix for more babies elsewhere. Sabrina said her work is hiring so maybe I will apply tomorrow and see if I can get work part time there. I'd be doing daycare but it pays decent and I think it has insurance..
*sighs* I want another baby....
Tonight we drive to Lincoln City for Marci's 21st Birthday. I wont be getting drunk because Kyle and I have our last session of couple's conseling at 8:45 tomorrow morning. -_- So not looking forward to talking about relationship problems that early in the morning. Kyle chose the appointment to be that early because he has work later that day. Like at 10am at the earliest.
I have found myself in this horrible funk the past few months. Right after we started comming out of that Roseanne phase I've wanted another baby. Like really bad. Kyle says I must wait until he gets his degree and he can actually get a job in his field with that degree. So that would be when Michelle is about five. But, Kyle only wants one more kid. I want more. It seems to me like his opinion is the only one that flies when it comes to the matters of having babies. Um, hello who has the uterus again? It just doesn't seem fair that I don't have a say in this. He wont hear nothing of it either. He still doesn't spend quality time with Michelle really. He acts like the babysitter. Just sits there on his computer and yells at her when she does ANYTHING wrong. Very rarely do I see him sitting on the floor and playing with Michelle. I at least play with her. I have thought about everything that is going on a lot and started thinking okay why do you want to get pregnant again when things are sort of starting to get back to normal if your life? A part of me wants to have another baby now. Even though, I know it would just complicate things and make school harder. Though, I'd love for Michelle to have a sibling. I've seen the way she acts around Ruth's baby Kris. She seems ready to have a sibling. I need to at least get my ADN before I can have another baby though otherwise I'll never get to be a labor and delivery nurse, NICU nurse, or a Midwife. That's something that I am meant for so I need to think about that.. -_- And tell myself I will get my fix for more babies elsewhere. Sabrina said her work is hiring so maybe I will apply tomorrow and see if I can get work part time there. I'd be doing daycare but it pays decent and I think it has insurance..
*sighs* I want another baby....