I hate you
Kevin and I were dpoing great, things are often VERY romantic(even without sex). But somethings wrong now, and it's my fault. I'm selfish, and untrustworthy. For some reason I demand his trust however. I'm so fucked up, I can't figure myself out. My new shrink doubled my Lamictal dose from 200mg-400mg, despite my complaints of unpleasant disasociative side-effects. I'm also on some other mood stabalizer now(it's also an anti-psychotic) go figure. I'm sick of all this shit. I love being manic, and will do anything I can (drugs, fighting,running away on roadtrips) to FUCKING STAY THAT WAY!