still exhausted.
But I'm feeling better. I had a frank conversation with my dad - I know I have things I need to work on. I'm working on them. I'm still a kid, despite everything, so it's hard. But I'm trying.
I'm glad he spoke to me. He really, really is trying harder to be more thoughtful and considerate - when I first moved in with him, he would just yell and explode, and I was terrified of him. Now he actually tries really hard to be patient and to think of us and show that he loves us. It's... awkward. Neither of us are very touchy-feely emotional people, despite everything. It's nice, though.
Being back at Idyllwild, even for just a few hours, is so nice. I'm already not used to having a roomie, but eh; I'll get back up onto my feet and stop being so tired. I missed this place so much more than I realized.
Had dinner with a huge group of friends, laughed and had lots of hugs. Jordan, a senior from last year who I adore, came to visit for the evening. It was so nice to see him! <3 Back last year, he was always there for all of us - he's the one who calmed me down and hugged me when I found out Erica had cut off all communication with me, actually. xD I love Jordan.
I'm really friggin' tired. But not in the "I need sleep" way. I'm just... emotionally and physically exhausted. I love my family so much, but I can't handle being around them for so long. It's not fair to them how I'm so distant and anti-social, I know that. Sometimes I just wish - well. No family's perfect. And despite everything, I love my family more than anything. They really do try. They're dysfunctional, but us kids don't help.
Y'know my little brother was apparently posting suicide threats on facebook? Yeah. I was eating my cereal, listening to my mother sob helplessly into the phone with her best friend. She's just... tired. That's why even if I get frustrated or upset, I just keep going. Because I know she's so much more tired than I am, and I wish I could do something, but I can't. Us kids fucked ourselves up. My mother did everything she could to raise us on her own, and she did a good job. She really did.
Aaaaanyway... I'm rambling.
I really do feel better. Just exhausted. Hopefully by the end of the week, I'll be better. :'D
And I ... know I haven't responded to stuff - and I will respond to comments, I promise - but I really... you guys are amazing. I love all of you so much. Thank you. Your comments all made me cry. You're all just... so nice. Thank you.
Um...
I'm still on a Shin Megami Tensei high.
Once I finish this Endurance Run of Persona 4 over at Giant Bomb, I'm gonna start a walkthrough of Digital Devil Saga. So amazing looking; I'm excited.
Shin Megami Tensei is just.. my kind of game. Like, all of them are just... amazing. I doubt I could play them because HARDCORE but still. I'll play all the Persona games. 8D That'll make up for it, I hope.
But just. That whole game umbrella is just awesome. They're not afraid of being dark and intense and dramatic and deep and asjndebkg I love it. The stories and the characters and the worlds and ideas. They're just. Amazing. I don't know.
And I watched a trailer for another ATLUS game - "Catherine" ? - HOLY SHIT, SO CREEPY. 8DD I'm ridiculously excited, but it's creepy as shit, I swear. I was just "WTF" the whole time. And at the end this woman randomly screams that she won't forgive someone and I DON'T KNOW. But I'm psyched. I recognized a lot of voices, too, ahhhhh~ <3
PS, I got a whole bunch of screenshots from Persona 4. Icons, here I come. 8D
Yosuke, I still love you so much. <3
ALSO I found out why I don't ship AbeMihashi, from Oofuri. I:
I'm too busy shipping AbeMe. HAH-- -shot-
Just kidding.
Also writing a lot - hopefully I'll come up with something postable!
I think that's it.
Woo woo.
Other stuff I can't remember.
Hopefully I'll start picking up again.
I'm already talking about pointless, useless crap, so I think so.
Off to watch more walkthrough and the new episode of Star Driver.
I'm glad he spoke to me. He really, really is trying harder to be more thoughtful and considerate - when I first moved in with him, he would just yell and explode, and I was terrified of him. Now he actually tries really hard to be patient and to think of us and show that he loves us. It's... awkward. Neither of us are very touchy-feely emotional people, despite everything. It's nice, though.
Being back at Idyllwild, even for just a few hours, is so nice. I'm already not used to having a roomie, but eh; I'll get back up onto my feet and stop being so tired. I missed this place so much more than I realized.
Had dinner with a huge group of friends, laughed and had lots of hugs. Jordan, a senior from last year who I adore, came to visit for the evening. It was so nice to see him! <3 Back last year, he was always there for all of us - he's the one who calmed me down and hugged me when I found out Erica had cut off all communication with me, actually. xD I love Jordan.
I'm really friggin' tired. But not in the "I need sleep" way. I'm just... emotionally and physically exhausted. I love my family so much, but I can't handle being around them for so long. It's not fair to them how I'm so distant and anti-social, I know that. Sometimes I just wish - well. No family's perfect. And despite everything, I love my family more than anything. They really do try. They're dysfunctional, but us kids don't help.
Y'know my little brother was apparently posting suicide threats on facebook? Yeah. I was eating my cereal, listening to my mother sob helplessly into the phone with her best friend. She's just... tired. That's why even if I get frustrated or upset, I just keep going. Because I know she's so much more tired than I am, and I wish I could do something, but I can't. Us kids fucked ourselves up. My mother did everything she could to raise us on her own, and she did a good job. She really did.
Aaaaanyway... I'm rambling.
I really do feel better. Just exhausted. Hopefully by the end of the week, I'll be better. :'D
And I ... know I haven't responded to stuff - and I will respond to comments, I promise - but I really... you guys are amazing. I love all of you so much. Thank you. Your comments all made me cry. You're all just... so nice. Thank you.
Um...
I'm still on a Shin Megami Tensei high.
Once I finish this Endurance Run of Persona 4 over at Giant Bomb, I'm gonna start a walkthrough of Digital Devil Saga. So amazing looking; I'm excited.
Shin Megami Tensei is just.. my kind of game. Like, all of them are just... amazing. I doubt I could play them because HARDCORE but still. I'll play all the Persona games. 8D That'll make up for it, I hope.
But just. That whole game umbrella is just awesome. They're not afraid of being dark and intense and dramatic and deep and asjndebkg I love it. The stories and the characters and the worlds and ideas. They're just. Amazing. I don't know.
And I watched a trailer for another ATLUS game - "Catherine" ? - HOLY SHIT, SO CREEPY. 8DD I'm ridiculously excited, but it's creepy as shit, I swear. I was just "WTF" the whole time. And at the end this woman randomly screams that she won't forgive someone and I DON'T KNOW. But I'm psyched. I recognized a lot of voices, too, ahhhhh~ <3
PS, I got a whole bunch of screenshots from Persona 4. Icons, here I come. 8D
Yosuke, I still love you so much. <3
ALSO I found out why I don't ship AbeMihashi, from Oofuri. I:
I'm too busy shipping AbeMe. HAH-- -shot-
Just kidding.
Also writing a lot - hopefully I'll come up with something postable!
I think that's it.
Woo woo.
Other stuff I can't remember.
Hopefully I'll start picking up again.
I'm already talking about pointless, useless crap, so I think so.
Off to watch more walkthrough and the new episode of Star Driver.