(no subject)
For the purposes of this chat, assume the leaving and then arriving in arthedain chats have been posted, that you didn't see the chat I posted here last time, and that I didn't have to remove a large section of this which also revealed the existence of the poisonous plant filled garden that theo acquires in this chat.
Theo: *fiddles with a wedding dress*
Arvedui: !! *makes sure he's as far away from that dress as possible*
Theo: it's for me, dumbass
Arvedui: *knows, is away because of the whole tradition where no male is allowed to see the bride's dress until she wears it at the ceremony* >.>
Theo: it's too late, Artamir's already seen it. Many times. So get back here.
Arvedui: It's still bad luck.
Theo: I'll live
Theo: and besides, Rohirric tradition only covers the day right before.
Theo: and only the groom
Arvedui: Oh, fine ¬.¬ *edges closer, but refuses to directly look at the thing*
Theo: it's very plain. This pleases me. >.>
Arvedui: You've always liked plain things.
Theo: they're easier to keep in good repair
Arvedui: True, that. Though I've never actually had to worry about such things.
Theo: mm. well, this has been suffering random gopher attacks
Arvedui: ¬.¬ You should really keep that thing in a cage/
Theo: ...hate cages
Arvedui: ...o.o *realization* Um.
Theo: um what? >.>
Arvedui: Nevermind >.>
Theo: no. You must explain or I shall be forced to wear the dress and have you be the cause of horrible bad luck
Arvedui: ...I just didn't realize you would hate cages. And now I do.
Theo: one of Hanild's brilliant 'keep theoden safe' plans >.>
Arvedui: *sympathetic grimace*
Theo: *folds up the dress* done repairing today's damages. And have scolded Eogopher
Arvedui: Good. What else were you planinng to do today?
Theo: teach Hygd to sing drinking songs
Arvedui: Not to bawdy though, please. She's a bit too young for that. >.>
Theo: ...she can't actually sing or understand me, Arvedui
Arvedui: *stares at Theo* Of course she can understand you. How do you think babies learn how to speak? As for the singing, well... She'll learn soon enough.
Theo: pixies teach them
Arvedui: Yes, if by pixies you mean them watching how people around them talk to each other and to them.
Theo: *teaches her evil*
Arvedui: *helps, as long as it's mannered and lady-like evil*
Theo: *tries to teach the tearing out throats with teeth trick*
Arvedui: *teaches her that that move is only a desperate measure, and that weapons, poisons, and husbands/brothers are better* >.>
Theo: *explains that Theodwyn used to do it all the time and it really puts the fears into orcs/your husband/brothers*
Arvedui: *explains that that sort of thing can be achieved without getting all messy with blood, if a woman uses her wit more than her teeth in public, and vica verca in private* >.>
Theo: *tells Hygd that Arvedui's a sissy*
Arvedui: Ah. It's going to be like that then? Fine. You don't need my help with her then. *pats Hygd and then proceeds to ignore them both via reading one of his many books*
Hygd: *tugs on Arvedui's sleeve and coos*
Arvedui: *pats Hygd* You're very cute, but you won't have any respect for me, if Theo keeps at it.
Hygd: [[I don't anyway]] *baby noises*
Arvedui: *sighs*
Theo: why're you sighing now?
Arvedui: Because it's frustraiting to see how much you're intent on not taking anything seriously, especially when it's something as important as your own daughter.
Theo: I have no daughter. >.>
Arvedui: ¬.¬ Then at least have the common courtesy to take better care with Artamir's daughter.
Theo: you were the one telling her what to do with people in 'private' >.> I'm being much more helpful
Theo: if Eomund had listened to his orc lessons, he never would have died the way he did
Arvedui: Teaching information is not the same as teaching attitude. And if you did restrict yourself to teaching her things like those 'orc lessons', then I wouldn't be having this discussion with you.
Theo: sissy. *holds Hygd up* show her a good example
Arvedui: Of what?
Theo: of not being a sissy
Arvedui: ¬.¬ Should I raid a helpless village, kill every adult male, rape every adult female in it and the feast until I burst on other people's food?
Theo: no, that would be creepy
Arvedui: Then define this whole 'not being a sissy' thing. Or maybe this is what you mean by 'being a sissy'?
Theo: giving up too easily
Arvedui: Ah. Well, then. *smacks Theo upside the head* Don't you dare call me a sissy in front of her again.
Theo: *kicks him hard in the shin* I'll do as I please. >.>
Arvedui: ¬.¬ *takes Hygd, puts her down nearby and proceeds to twist Theo's arm* I mean it.
Theo: *yanks his arm away* that's nice
Arvedui: *grabs both of Theo's arms and twists them back* Isn't it? It's also true.
Theo: *slams his head into Arvedui's chin* sissy!
Arvedui: >.< *yanks harder on Theo's arms, so that Theo sort of folds backwards a bit, and headbuts*
Theo: *kicks back*
Arvedui: *dodges, and moves his leg between Theo's in a swipe so that Theo has the chouce to either do the split or fall with it*
Theo: *chooses to stay up* you know, you're taking this awfully personally
Arvedui: You know this is awfuly personal. *yanks again on Theo's arms to make sure his hold on them is secure*
Theo: I'm sure you can learn to live with your sissyness
Arvedui: This isn't about that. It's about Hygd.
Theo: *tries to stand up properly* Afraid of looking bad in front of a baby?
Arvedui: No, afraid everything I'll try to teach her will go in one ear and out the other with her because you don't care enough to understand that children need strong characters in their lives as teachers and caretakers. *doesn't really allow that whole standing up properly thing*
Theo: so my ways will ruin her life forever and ever?
Arvedui: No, just any hope of her listening to me and accepting my judgement.
Theo: paranoid
Arvedui: Experienced.
Theo: is that why Aramdir doesn't seem to respect you?
Arvedui: *abruptly lets go* *pained voice* No. That's because I wasn't there with him, to see him grow up and help him.
Theo: *stumbles, stands up straight and gives Arvedui one last shinkick* naw, it's probably just him thinking you're a sissy
Arvedui: ........*snaps, punches*
Theo: ...
*hits back with proper undead rohirric strength* >:|
Arvedui: *feels some teeth might have been knocked loose, doesn't care, LUNGES*
Theo: *ducks down*
Hygd: *starts crying*
Arvedui: *lands up top of Theo*
Theo: You've scared the baby, you sissy
Arvedui: >:| *pins down, says something in Sindarin, too angry to realize he's talking in a different language*
Hygd: *goes suddenly silent*
Theo: I think Hygd died
Arvedui: Don't be silly. Babies don't just die all of a sudden. >.>
Theo: yes they do.
Arvedui: *doesn't want to let Theo go* ...I'm a North man, I know when babies die. If they do, it's because of cold, lack of food, too much bright light or physical hurt.
Theo: huhn. Back home they'd die for no reason. You lay them down for a nap, you come back and there's a dead baby. Happened to one of my aunts.
Arvedui: ¬.¬ Fine. *lets go*
Theo: *darts out of reach*
Hygd: *no noise*
Arvedui: *curious look Theo's way, gets up more slowly*
Hygd: *no moving noises either*
Arvedui: *gets closer, peers* She isn't blue. Is she breathing?
Hygd: *grabs his beard* [[I told you to attend to me, peon!]] >:|
Arvedui: There. *untangles Hygd's hand from his beard* She's alive and well, if a bit attention-needy.
Theo: oh good... *tidying up his clothes*
Arvedui: I think I love you.
((o.o shit))
Theo: ...you have a very weird way of showing it.
Arvedui: *bows his head*
Theo: *pats Arvedui* get up.
Arvedui: I think I'll sit here a while longer
Theo: not going to go comatose again?
Arvedui: I don't know
Theo: *kisses on the cheek* if you do, I'll put you in women's clothes and take pictures
Arvedui: I know
Theo: *goes to go make him something to eat*
Arvedui: *resumes sitting and staring, though doesn't look quite as distressed*
Theo: *brings him some eggs and toast*
Arvedui: Thank you. *eats a bit mechanically*
Theo: love me?
Arvedui: .........>.> Yes.
Theo: why?
Arvedui: *sighs* Because you're fun, you're smart, you've the heart of a lion, if the willfulness of a child, you have a strength in you which can overcome anything and you're proud too, enough to make you seem more noble than harassed. Every sense I own tells me it's wrong, that I must be mistaken, but I think even my subconscious knew how beautiful a spirit you truly are from the moment I met you. *averts his eyes*
Theo: you know, most people just sum it up as 'you're insane, aren't you'
Arvedui: *tiny shrug*
Theo: Firiel?
Arvedui: *pained sigh* I love her too.
Theo: well, that's alright then.
Arvedui: No, it isn't. I can't decide.
Theo: well, I generally choose one option and stick with it.
Arvedui: *sighs* I wish it was that easy.
Theo: well, it does get Hanild glaring at you.
Theo: but that's probably just me
Arvedui: *the embodiment of miserable-ness*
Theo: >.> *hugs*
Arvedui: *hesitates to hug back*
Theo: *comfort*
Arvedui: *isn't really comforted, but is willing to pretend in the hopes of convinving himself* Thank you.
Theo: besides, I'm too small for you. >.>
Arvedui: ...small?
Theo: yes. Terrible thing, really.
Arvedui: You're not small...
Theo: itty bitty
Arvedui: You're of a normal height for a woman of your lineage.
Theo: am not. Have you seen my sisters? Theofallan especially. I'm a midget. *scoots closer to Arvedui*
Arvedui: Theo, you're not small. You're... just right. Perfect even. >.>
Theo: you're just saying that because I'll hit you again
Arvedui: No, I'm saying that because it's true.
Theo: *nuzzle*
Arvedui: *blinks* ... *pats hesitantly*
Theo: don't feel so bad >.>
Arvedui: I'm trying... You're helping. >.>
Theo: good, good.
Arvedui: *tiny nod*
Theo: *hugs again*
Arvedui: *still hesitant about hugging back*
Theo: *encouraging*
Arvedui: ... ... *hugs!clings*
Theo: *pets!*
Arvedui: *CLING*
Theo: >.>
Arvedui: >.>
Theo: feel better now?
Arvedui: A bit.
Theo: good
Arvedui: *another tiny nod* Thank you, again, for everything.
Arvedui: *behaves, though he can't stop having a tiny wince every time Theo does something remotely cute/sweet/Theo-like*
Theo: *puts Arvedui to work helping him with his garden*
Arvedui: *is very helplful - to the point of exhaustion, just so he wouldn't have to think about things like Theo-ness*
Theo: *makes little daisycrowns for Hygd*
Arvedui: *his heart turns over inside him, but he just grits his teeth and works harder*
Hygd: *learns a new word* toxic!
Arvedui: *is very proud of her*
Theo: yes! That's why we don't eat foxglove, no matter how magically delicious
Arvedui: *nods, adds the other poisonous plants to the list of toxic stuff*
Hygd: *tries to take up running*
Arvedui: *helps her along so she won't stumble and hurt herself*
Hygd: [[the world will be mine!]]
Theo: *cuts some flowers for Artamir*
Arvedui: *is very busy having fun with Hygd, not thinking about Theo and Artamir, at all*
Theo: *slips off*
Hygd: [[with walking comes ability to seek out the sharp things! such dark glee is within my dark little heart]]
Arvedui: *carries her around on her shoulders and gives her a tiny lesson about the properties of each plant on Theo's garden*
Hygd: [[I think 'daddy' needs a gift from me. ¬.¬]]
Arvedui: *lets her play with the non-poisonous flowers*
Hygd: *tries to frolic nude among the flowers* [[begone, mortal trappings]]
Arvedui: *doesn't let her* You don't want scratches all over you from the plants, now do you?
Hygd: *wiggle*
Arvedui: *cuddles*
Theo: *comes back later with snacks*
Arvedui: *act very much as if he is Hygd's father, because is comes naturally to him*
Hygd: *finishes eating and curls up in his lap to sleep*
Arvedui: *hums her a lullaby and strokes her back rythmically*
Theo: you're doing well with her
Arvedui: She's an easy child.
Theo: mmm. It's the drugs I give her.
Arvedui: Not funny.
Theo: *cute look*
Arvedui: I'm just stating a fact.
Theo: sure it is. Drugged children are the best children
Arvedui: *sighs* Theo, please stop that.
Theo: why?
Arvedui: Because the simple truth is that she is a good child, and because this is a rarely peaceful moment for me, and I don't want to think about anything other than the way her lungs move air in and out of her and the rythem of her fast little heartbeats.
Theo: *sighs and lays down in the grass* fiiine.
Arvedui: Thank you.
Theo: *closes his eyes and relaxes*
Arvedui: *watches over both Theo and mini-Theo*
Hygd: *dreams about chasing rabbits* *twitch*
Arvedui: *pats her reassuringly*
Theo: zzzz
Arvedui: *will NOT pat Theo, will NOT even think about it, not at all*
Theo: *having a pleasant nap*
Arvedui: *has time now to just sit and stare at nothing and think of nothing, and have a bit of peace*
Hygd: *wakes up later and resumes hyperactivity*
Arvedui: *keeps her from getting into trouble*
Theo: do you want your palantir back? I've been using it as a doorstop
Arvedui: That would be nice, yes.
Theo: it's a very good doorstop
Arvedui: Not really, it's round, it rolls.
Theo: I've added to it
Arvedui: Well, it would still be nice to have it back.
Theo: I shall return it when I remember to. >.>
Arvedui: *nod* That would be fine.
Theo: *rests his head on Arvedui's shoulder and watches Hygd*
Arvedui: *tries very hard not to let that have an effect on him, succeeds partially, but doesn't say anything about it* She'll grow up to be a beautiful young lady.
Theo: or a raving lunatic. *nuzzle*
Arvedui: ...*kind of choked voice* ...Maybe.
Theo: which would make sense. *suddenly pounces Hygd and tickles her*
Arvedui: *relieved breathe, watches them*
Theo: *drags back the giggling baby* Look what I caught
Arvedui: *smiles* Mmm. A cute little rascal. What do you intend to do with her?
Theo: eat 'er
Arvedui: *mock shock* And leave naught for me? How rude! *takes Hygd and mock-bites her little tummy, tickling her in the process*
Hygd: [[CANNIBALS. I knew this day would come!]] *attempts to defend*
Arvedui: *laughs and cuddles her, kisses the top of her head* Cute.
Hygd: @_@ [[heartattack]]
Arvedui: We'r not going to eat you, you're too cute for that.
Hygd: [[I'll have your liver for this!]]
Arvedui: *cuddles*
Theo: *sneaks behind Arvedui*
Arvedui: *notices* Yes Theo?
Theo: ...well, there goes my ambush
Arvedui: *turns to face Theo* Sorry.
Theo: *pounces anyway*
Arvedui: o.o *is pounced, protects Hygd from incoming Theo projectile*
Theo: *straddles* hi
Arvedui: o.o *GULP* Hi.
Theo: *taps his nose* tag. You're it.
Arvedui: ...o.o *taps Theo's nose back* No, you're it.
Theo: ¬.¬ *tagtagtag*
Arvedui: *counter!tagtagtag*
Theo: *pins* *tag*
Arvedui: o.o *another gulp, nuzzles Theo's nose with his* You're it.
Theo: *nips* you're it
Arvedui: *nips back* No, you're it.
Theo: *tags and darts off* you're it.
Arvedui: *chases, tackles, pins, tags, gets off very very quickly* You're it. >.>
Theo: !! *lunge*
Arvedui: o.o Hi.
Theo: grrr
Arvedui: ....>.> fsst.
Theo: *bitebitebite*
Arvedui: >.< Ow.
Theo: tag unto infinity
Arvedui: Tag unto infinity times infinity!
Theo: time to dump you in the river, boy
Arvedui: The closest river is miles from here, and I am not a boy.
Theo: pretty ugly girl
Arvedui: Man.
Theo: *pats Arvedui on the cheek*
Arvedui: ...*ponders asking Theo to get off him, though not very seriously*
Theo: *hops off anyway to go garden some more*
Arvedui: *hides disappointment, goes to play with Hygd some more*
Theo: *cuts some more plants for recipes for Eomund* :D
Arvedui: *teaches Hygd that being well-manners distracts people and makes them often think you are something different than what you truly are, and why that can be a good thing in, say, buisness deals*
Theo: you're teaching her evil, aren't you
Arvedui: No more evil than you are teaching her.
Theo: my evil is victimless
Arvedui: Eomund counts.
Theo: ...you lie
Arvedui: If it looks remotely human and is capable of bleeding, it counts.
Theo: oh, I'm fine on the first count then
Arvedui: I've seen Eomund, he looks human.
Theo: does not.
Arvedui: Yes, he does. So do puppies, and certain butterflies. It's the eyes.
Theo: I refuse to acknowledge these falsehoods
Arvedui: Suit yourself, but Hygd will be learning them nonetheless.
Theo: poor little thing
Arvedui: Intelligent little thing. *cuddles Hygd*
Theo: she'll topple you from power and take your throne
Arvedui: Maybe. If she succeeds, she'll deserve it.
Theo: that works
Arvedui: *cuddles Hygd again* Such a cute little future Queen.
Hygd: *waves her arms and squeals*
Arvedui: *tickles*
Theo: *puts her to bed later*
Arvedui: She's very energetic too.
Theo: drugs.
Arvedui: Not funny.
Theo: you keep saying that
Arvedui: I mean it every time.
Theo: *kisses him on the cheek* why?
Arvedui: Because, whether you want to admit it or not, she _is_ your child. She deserves better respect from you. Children don't always know when their elders are being serious or not about something, especially something like that.
Theo: You do know I likely *would* drug her, right?
Arvedui: I'd really rather not think about that.
Theo: 's the truth. I'm not quite Vanthene level, mind you, although I do seem to know more non-toxic tricks
Arvedui: If you do, you'll loose any respect you ever had from me.
Theo: you don't respect me much anyway
Arvedui: Quite on the contrary.
Theo: if you did, you wouldn't be so disproving of everything I do.
Arvedui: The exact opposite is true. If I didn't respect you, I wouldn't care enough.
Theo: you're just weird
Arvedui: Maybe.
Theo: what it looks like, you know, is that you see me as so unable to control myself that you have to lecture me at every stop lest I do harm
Arvedui: Actually, I see you as someone with great potential, and I try to direct you to use that potential. If it seems as if I am lecturing you at every turn, I'm sorry...
Theo: yes, yes. Have a suspiciously scented cookie
Arvedui: Thank you. *checks for poison, automaticallty*
Theo: so I wondered, if you've got all those antidotes that you can use if you identify it in time... why not mix multiple types?
Arvedui: Multiple antidotes or multiple poisons?
Theo: multiple poisons
Arvedui: You can, but not all of my antidotes are poison-specific. Most of them cancel the harshest and most commonly known effects of most poisons. They are just a perliminary treatment. Afterwards I can have more time to find out exactly what poison was used and find the right antidote for it.
Theo: hmm. *considering look* mixed with things that definitely aren't poison but still impairing...
Arvedui: Unless the extra materials give the mix some unexpected effect over the human body, it doesn't matter. By unexpected I mean something which was not already identified by scuence as something which can harm the body.
Theo: *evil look*
Arvedui: *pats* Adunaphel had some interesting ones.
Theo: got anything to hold off medicines? >.>
Arvedui: How do you mean?
Theo: I'm thinking of ones that have the side-affect of making you sleepy or lightheaded
Arvedui: Poppy makes a person sleep a deeper sleep than normal, and for far longer. In smaller doses it makes you see... strange things. >.>
Theo: I'm just looking for something that mixed with the various poisons would impair you enough to make figuring out the antidote a bit too hard
Arvedui: Ah, well... Let me see. It would have to be a powder. Certain mushrooms have both poisonous and distracting properties... It could be done, though the materials would be a bit hard to get by. You can always conk me over the head and then do what you want.
Theo: I already have some. I used to take them to stay happy >.>
Arvedui: O.O *immediatly chekcs Theo for signs of after effects*
Theo: ...not mushrooms.
Theo: I was saying I didn't need them, because I'd made the stuff I needed ages ago
Arvedui: Taking any sort of thing to 'make you happy' can leave after effects! Very harmful after effects! *double checks*
Theo: it's been months, Arvedui.
Arvedui: Which just goes to show how much you don't understand about such things. *triple checks, very concerned*
Theo: *smacks*
Arvedui: I deserved that. >.< But it's still important!
Theo: I understand what I do >:|
Arvedui: Maybe, and maybe not. What did you use for materials for this 'happy stuff'.
Theo: *lists ingredients*
Arvedui: !!! O.O Sweet Varda. *quadrupal check!*
Theo: I'd also like to point out that those last ones were added so it would manage to affect me. I haven't got normal biology
Arvedui: Normal biology or no, those are still dangerous substances... I admit that I find nothing wrong with you now, but if you feel funny - like your vision is a bit hazy, or you shake at odd times, tell me, all right?
Theo: no, there's just the random blackouts where I come to and there's corpses all around me
Arvedui: ...Please tell me you're joking? *is really really concerned*
Theo: I'm joking
Arvedui: Thank Eru... *really relieved*
Theo: >.> *patpat*
Arvedui: Just... Please promise me you won't try messig around with such things before asking my advice, all right?
Theo: I'll do as I please. I've been at it much longer than you
Arvedui: I doubt that.
Theo: have!
Arvedui: I've been trained in the arts of herbalism and posisons since I was 20. That was a bit over a century ago.
Theo: quiet. >.>
Arvedui: Most definitly not.
Theo: I'll be fine. I'm not nearly so depressive now anyway. >.> barring me going off it resulting in the woman thing, now that I think about it
Arvedui: *worried* Please don't take those things again?
Theo: >:| *getting determined to take them*
Arvedui: >.< All right, all right, I won't say another word on this. *worries like there's no tomorrow instead*
Theo: mmph
Arvedui: *worried fidgets*
Theo: *goes to work on some sleeping pills*
Arvedui: ...*doesn't sleep or eat because of the worry*
Theo: ...stop that.
Arvedui: I don't want you to be hurt.
Theo: fine. I won't take any more pills. Now take better care of yourself.
Arvedui: Thank you. *does so*
Theo: fsst
Arvedui: *still worries, but a lot less*
Theo: *is pleased with his garden*
Arvedui: *is pleased with it too*
Theo: *pleased over eight successful killings of Eomund* :D
Arvedui: *what he doesn't know is best left that way*
Theo: *goes for a tenth!*
Theo: *...and a ninth!*
Arvedui: It's a very nice garden
Theo: so far he's fallen for pretty much every poison in here. I guess it's time to mail him baneberries and see if they make him sick
Arvedui: Concentrated salt. It does unspeakable things to one's stomach.
Theo: oh. I guess I'll send him some of that too
Arvedui: *nods*
Theo: He says the recipes I've been sending him are very nice, but he thinks Theodhale is smothering him in his sleep.
Arvedui: He still counts, you know.
Theo: I'd say I was protecting the gene pool, but he's bred twice and keeps coming back
Arvedui: Yes, well, Mandos is different nowadays.
Theo: they took pity on him >.>
Arvedui: *shrugs*
Theo: so salt and baneberries. *goes to write up recipe*
Arvedui: *thinks of more interesting combinations*
Theo: *listens*
Arvedui: *describes, some of them are very inventive*
Theo: alas, poor Eomund
Arvedui: mmhmm.
Theo: *fiddles with a wedding dress*
Arvedui: !! *makes sure he's as far away from that dress as possible*
Theo: it's for me, dumbass
Arvedui: *knows, is away because of the whole tradition where no male is allowed to see the bride's dress until she wears it at the ceremony* >.>
Theo: it's too late, Artamir's already seen it. Many times. So get back here.
Arvedui: It's still bad luck.
Theo: I'll live
Theo: and besides, Rohirric tradition only covers the day right before.
Theo: and only the groom
Arvedui: Oh, fine ¬.¬ *edges closer, but refuses to directly look at the thing*
Theo: it's very plain. This pleases me. >.>
Arvedui: You've always liked plain things.
Theo: they're easier to keep in good repair
Arvedui: True, that. Though I've never actually had to worry about such things.
Theo: mm. well, this has been suffering random gopher attacks
Arvedui: ¬.¬ You should really keep that thing in a cage/
Theo: ...hate cages
Arvedui: ...o.o *realization* Um.
Theo: um what? >.>
Arvedui: Nevermind >.>
Theo: no. You must explain or I shall be forced to wear the dress and have you be the cause of horrible bad luck
Arvedui: ...I just didn't realize you would hate cages. And now I do.
Theo: one of Hanild's brilliant 'keep theoden safe' plans >.>
Arvedui: *sympathetic grimace*
Theo: *folds up the dress* done repairing today's damages. And have scolded Eogopher
Arvedui: Good. What else were you planinng to do today?
Theo: teach Hygd to sing drinking songs
Arvedui: Not to bawdy though, please. She's a bit too young for that. >.>
Theo: ...she can't actually sing or understand me, Arvedui
Arvedui: *stares at Theo* Of course she can understand you. How do you think babies learn how to speak? As for the singing, well... She'll learn soon enough.
Theo: pixies teach them
Arvedui: Yes, if by pixies you mean them watching how people around them talk to each other and to them.
Theo: *teaches her evil*
Arvedui: *helps, as long as it's mannered and lady-like evil*
Theo: *tries to teach the tearing out throats with teeth trick*
Arvedui: *teaches her that that move is only a desperate measure, and that weapons, poisons, and husbands/brothers are better* >.>
Theo: *explains that Theodwyn used to do it all the time and it really puts the fears into orcs/your husband/brothers*
Arvedui: *explains that that sort of thing can be achieved without getting all messy with blood, if a woman uses her wit more than her teeth in public, and vica verca in private* >.>
Theo: *tells Hygd that Arvedui's a sissy*
Arvedui: Ah. It's going to be like that then? Fine. You don't need my help with her then. *pats Hygd and then proceeds to ignore them both via reading one of his many books*
Hygd: *tugs on Arvedui's sleeve and coos*
Arvedui: *pats Hygd* You're very cute, but you won't have any respect for me, if Theo keeps at it.
Hygd: [[I don't anyway]] *baby noises*
Arvedui: *sighs*
Theo: why're you sighing now?
Arvedui: Because it's frustraiting to see how much you're intent on not taking anything seriously, especially when it's something as important as your own daughter.
Theo: I have no daughter. >.>
Arvedui: ¬.¬ Then at least have the common courtesy to take better care with Artamir's daughter.
Theo: you were the one telling her what to do with people in 'private' >.> I'm being much more helpful
Theo: if Eomund had listened to his orc lessons, he never would have died the way he did
Arvedui: Teaching information is not the same as teaching attitude. And if you did restrict yourself to teaching her things like those 'orc lessons', then I wouldn't be having this discussion with you.
Theo: sissy. *holds Hygd up* show her a good example
Arvedui: Of what?
Theo: of not being a sissy
Arvedui: ¬.¬ Should I raid a helpless village, kill every adult male, rape every adult female in it and the feast until I burst on other people's food?
Theo: no, that would be creepy
Arvedui: Then define this whole 'not being a sissy' thing. Or maybe this is what you mean by 'being a sissy'?
Theo: giving up too easily
Arvedui: Ah. Well, then. *smacks Theo upside the head* Don't you dare call me a sissy in front of her again.
Theo: *kicks him hard in the shin* I'll do as I please. >.>
Arvedui: ¬.¬ *takes Hygd, puts her down nearby and proceeds to twist Theo's arm* I mean it.
Theo: *yanks his arm away* that's nice
Arvedui: *grabs both of Theo's arms and twists them back* Isn't it? It's also true.
Theo: *slams his head into Arvedui's chin* sissy!
Arvedui: >.< *yanks harder on Theo's arms, so that Theo sort of folds backwards a bit, and headbuts*
Theo: *kicks back*
Arvedui: *dodges, and moves his leg between Theo's in a swipe so that Theo has the chouce to either do the split or fall with it*
Theo: *chooses to stay up* you know, you're taking this awfully personally
Arvedui: You know this is awfuly personal. *yanks again on Theo's arms to make sure his hold on them is secure*
Theo: I'm sure you can learn to live with your sissyness
Arvedui: This isn't about that. It's about Hygd.
Theo: *tries to stand up properly* Afraid of looking bad in front of a baby?
Arvedui: No, afraid everything I'll try to teach her will go in one ear and out the other with her because you don't care enough to understand that children need strong characters in their lives as teachers and caretakers. *doesn't really allow that whole standing up properly thing*
Theo: so my ways will ruin her life forever and ever?
Arvedui: No, just any hope of her listening to me and accepting my judgement.
Theo: paranoid
Arvedui: Experienced.
Theo: is that why Aramdir doesn't seem to respect you?
Arvedui: *abruptly lets go* *pained voice* No. That's because I wasn't there with him, to see him grow up and help him.
Theo: *stumbles, stands up straight and gives Arvedui one last shinkick* naw, it's probably just him thinking you're a sissy
Arvedui: ........*snaps, punches*
Theo: ...
*hits back with proper undead rohirric strength* >:|
Arvedui: *feels some teeth might have been knocked loose, doesn't care, LUNGES*
Theo: *ducks down*
Hygd: *starts crying*
Arvedui: *lands up top of Theo*
Theo: You've scared the baby, you sissy
Arvedui: >:| *pins down, says something in Sindarin, too angry to realize he's talking in a different language*
Hygd: *goes suddenly silent*
Theo: I think Hygd died
Arvedui: Don't be silly. Babies don't just die all of a sudden. >.>
Theo: yes they do.
Arvedui: *doesn't want to let Theo go* ...I'm a North man, I know when babies die. If they do, it's because of cold, lack of food, too much bright light or physical hurt.
Theo: huhn. Back home they'd die for no reason. You lay them down for a nap, you come back and there's a dead baby. Happened to one of my aunts.
Arvedui: ¬.¬ Fine. *lets go*
Theo: *darts out of reach*
Hygd: *no noise*
Arvedui: *curious look Theo's way, gets up more slowly*
Hygd: *no moving noises either*
Arvedui: *gets closer, peers* She isn't blue. Is she breathing?
Hygd: *grabs his beard* [[I told you to attend to me, peon!]] >:|
Arvedui: There. *untangles Hygd's hand from his beard* She's alive and well, if a bit attention-needy.
Theo: oh good... *tidying up his clothes*
Arvedui: I think I love you.
((o.o shit))
Theo: ...you have a very weird way of showing it.
Arvedui: *bows his head*
Theo: *pats Arvedui* get up.
Arvedui: I think I'll sit here a while longer
Theo: not going to go comatose again?
Arvedui: I don't know
Theo: *kisses on the cheek* if you do, I'll put you in women's clothes and take pictures
Arvedui: I know
Theo: *goes to go make him something to eat*
Arvedui: *resumes sitting and staring, though doesn't look quite as distressed*
Theo: *brings him some eggs and toast*
Arvedui: Thank you. *eats a bit mechanically*
Theo: love me?
Arvedui: .........>.> Yes.
Theo: why?
Arvedui: *sighs* Because you're fun, you're smart, you've the heart of a lion, if the willfulness of a child, you have a strength in you which can overcome anything and you're proud too, enough to make you seem more noble than harassed. Every sense I own tells me it's wrong, that I must be mistaken, but I think even my subconscious knew how beautiful a spirit you truly are from the moment I met you. *averts his eyes*
Theo: you know, most people just sum it up as 'you're insane, aren't you'
Arvedui: *tiny shrug*
Theo: Firiel?
Arvedui: *pained sigh* I love her too.
Theo: well, that's alright then.
Arvedui: No, it isn't. I can't decide.
Theo: well, I generally choose one option and stick with it.
Arvedui: *sighs* I wish it was that easy.
Theo: well, it does get Hanild glaring at you.
Theo: but that's probably just me
Arvedui: *the embodiment of miserable-ness*
Theo: >.> *hugs*
Arvedui: *hesitates to hug back*
Theo: *comfort*
Arvedui: *isn't really comforted, but is willing to pretend in the hopes of convinving himself* Thank you.
Theo: besides, I'm too small for you. >.>
Arvedui: ...small?
Theo: yes. Terrible thing, really.
Arvedui: You're not small...
Theo: itty bitty
Arvedui: You're of a normal height for a woman of your lineage.
Theo: am not. Have you seen my sisters? Theofallan especially. I'm a midget. *scoots closer to Arvedui*
Arvedui: Theo, you're not small. You're... just right. Perfect even. >.>
Theo: you're just saying that because I'll hit you again
Arvedui: No, I'm saying that because it's true.
Theo: *nuzzle*
Arvedui: *blinks* ... *pats hesitantly*
Theo: don't feel so bad >.>
Arvedui: I'm trying... You're helping. >.>
Theo: good, good.
Arvedui: *tiny nod*
Theo: *hugs again*
Arvedui: *still hesitant about hugging back*
Theo: *encouraging*
Arvedui: ... ... *hugs!clings*
Theo: *pets!*
Arvedui: *CLING*
Theo: >.>
Arvedui: >.>
Theo: feel better now?
Arvedui: A bit.
Theo: good
Arvedui: *another tiny nod* Thank you, again, for everything.
Arvedui: *behaves, though he can't stop having a tiny wince every time Theo does something remotely cute/sweet/Theo-like*
Theo: *puts Arvedui to work helping him with his garden*
Arvedui: *is very helplful - to the point of exhaustion, just so he wouldn't have to think about things like Theo-ness*
Theo: *makes little daisycrowns for Hygd*
Arvedui: *his heart turns over inside him, but he just grits his teeth and works harder*
Hygd: *learns a new word* toxic!
Arvedui: *is very proud of her*
Theo: yes! That's why we don't eat foxglove, no matter how magically delicious
Arvedui: *nods, adds the other poisonous plants to the list of toxic stuff*
Hygd: *tries to take up running*
Arvedui: *helps her along so she won't stumble and hurt herself*
Hygd: [[the world will be mine!]]
Theo: *cuts some flowers for Artamir*
Arvedui: *is very busy having fun with Hygd, not thinking about Theo and Artamir, at all*
Theo: *slips off*
Hygd: [[with walking comes ability to seek out the sharp things! such dark glee is within my dark little heart]]
Arvedui: *carries her around on her shoulders and gives her a tiny lesson about the properties of each plant on Theo's garden*
Hygd: [[I think 'daddy' needs a gift from me. ¬.¬]]
Arvedui: *lets her play with the non-poisonous flowers*
Hygd: *tries to frolic nude among the flowers* [[begone, mortal trappings]]
Arvedui: *doesn't let her* You don't want scratches all over you from the plants, now do you?
Hygd: *wiggle*
Arvedui: *cuddles*
Theo: *comes back later with snacks*
Arvedui: *act very much as if he is Hygd's father, because is comes naturally to him*
Hygd: *finishes eating and curls up in his lap to sleep*
Arvedui: *hums her a lullaby and strokes her back rythmically*
Theo: you're doing well with her
Arvedui: She's an easy child.
Theo: mmm. It's the drugs I give her.
Arvedui: Not funny.
Theo: *cute look*
Arvedui: I'm just stating a fact.
Theo: sure it is. Drugged children are the best children
Arvedui: *sighs* Theo, please stop that.
Theo: why?
Arvedui: Because the simple truth is that she is a good child, and because this is a rarely peaceful moment for me, and I don't want to think about anything other than the way her lungs move air in and out of her and the rythem of her fast little heartbeats.
Theo: *sighs and lays down in the grass* fiiine.
Arvedui: Thank you.
Theo: *closes his eyes and relaxes*
Arvedui: *watches over both Theo and mini-Theo*
Hygd: *dreams about chasing rabbits* *twitch*
Arvedui: *pats her reassuringly*
Theo: zzzz
Arvedui: *will NOT pat Theo, will NOT even think about it, not at all*
Theo: *having a pleasant nap*
Arvedui: *has time now to just sit and stare at nothing and think of nothing, and have a bit of peace*
Hygd: *wakes up later and resumes hyperactivity*
Arvedui: *keeps her from getting into trouble*
Theo: do you want your palantir back? I've been using it as a doorstop
Arvedui: That would be nice, yes.
Theo: it's a very good doorstop
Arvedui: Not really, it's round, it rolls.
Theo: I've added to it
Arvedui: Well, it would still be nice to have it back.
Theo: I shall return it when I remember to. >.>
Arvedui: *nod* That would be fine.
Theo: *rests his head on Arvedui's shoulder and watches Hygd*
Arvedui: *tries very hard not to let that have an effect on him, succeeds partially, but doesn't say anything about it* She'll grow up to be a beautiful young lady.
Theo: or a raving lunatic. *nuzzle*
Arvedui: ...*kind of choked voice* ...Maybe.
Theo: which would make sense. *suddenly pounces Hygd and tickles her*
Arvedui: *relieved breathe, watches them*
Theo: *drags back the giggling baby* Look what I caught
Arvedui: *smiles* Mmm. A cute little rascal. What do you intend to do with her?
Theo: eat 'er
Arvedui: *mock shock* And leave naught for me? How rude! *takes Hygd and mock-bites her little tummy, tickling her in the process*
Hygd: [[CANNIBALS. I knew this day would come!]] *attempts to defend*
Arvedui: *laughs and cuddles her, kisses the top of her head* Cute.
Hygd: @_@ [[heartattack]]
Arvedui: We'r not going to eat you, you're too cute for that.
Hygd: [[I'll have your liver for this!]]
Arvedui: *cuddles*
Theo: *sneaks behind Arvedui*
Arvedui: *notices* Yes Theo?
Theo: ...well, there goes my ambush
Arvedui: *turns to face Theo* Sorry.
Theo: *pounces anyway*
Arvedui: o.o *is pounced, protects Hygd from incoming Theo projectile*
Theo: *straddles* hi
Arvedui: o.o *GULP* Hi.
Theo: *taps his nose* tag. You're it.
Arvedui: ...o.o *taps Theo's nose back* No, you're it.
Theo: ¬.¬ *tagtagtag*
Arvedui: *counter!tagtagtag*
Theo: *pins* *tag*
Arvedui: o.o *another gulp, nuzzles Theo's nose with his* You're it.
Theo: *nips* you're it
Arvedui: *nips back* No, you're it.
Theo: *tags and darts off* you're it.
Arvedui: *chases, tackles, pins, tags, gets off very very quickly* You're it. >.>
Theo: !! *lunge*
Arvedui: o.o Hi.
Theo: grrr
Arvedui: ....>.> fsst.
Theo: *bitebitebite*
Arvedui: >.< Ow.
Theo: tag unto infinity
Arvedui: Tag unto infinity times infinity!
Theo: time to dump you in the river, boy
Arvedui: The closest river is miles from here, and I am not a boy.
Theo: pretty ugly girl
Arvedui: Man.
Theo: *pats Arvedui on the cheek*
Arvedui: ...*ponders asking Theo to get off him, though not very seriously*
Theo: *hops off anyway to go garden some more*
Arvedui: *hides disappointment, goes to play with Hygd some more*
Theo: *cuts some more plants for recipes for Eomund* :D
Arvedui: *teaches Hygd that being well-manners distracts people and makes them often think you are something different than what you truly are, and why that can be a good thing in, say, buisness deals*
Theo: you're teaching her evil, aren't you
Arvedui: No more evil than you are teaching her.
Theo: my evil is victimless
Arvedui: Eomund counts.
Theo: ...you lie
Arvedui: If it looks remotely human and is capable of bleeding, it counts.
Theo: oh, I'm fine on the first count then
Arvedui: I've seen Eomund, he looks human.
Theo: does not.
Arvedui: Yes, he does. So do puppies, and certain butterflies. It's the eyes.
Theo: I refuse to acknowledge these falsehoods
Arvedui: Suit yourself, but Hygd will be learning them nonetheless.
Theo: poor little thing
Arvedui: Intelligent little thing. *cuddles Hygd*
Theo: she'll topple you from power and take your throne
Arvedui: Maybe. If she succeeds, she'll deserve it.
Theo: that works
Arvedui: *cuddles Hygd again* Such a cute little future Queen.
Hygd: *waves her arms and squeals*
Arvedui: *tickles*
Theo: *puts her to bed later*
Arvedui: She's very energetic too.
Theo: drugs.
Arvedui: Not funny.
Theo: you keep saying that
Arvedui: I mean it every time.
Theo: *kisses him on the cheek* why?
Arvedui: Because, whether you want to admit it or not, she _is_ your child. She deserves better respect from you. Children don't always know when their elders are being serious or not about something, especially something like that.
Theo: You do know I likely *would* drug her, right?
Arvedui: I'd really rather not think about that.
Theo: 's the truth. I'm not quite Vanthene level, mind you, although I do seem to know more non-toxic tricks
Arvedui: If you do, you'll loose any respect you ever had from me.
Theo: you don't respect me much anyway
Arvedui: Quite on the contrary.
Theo: if you did, you wouldn't be so disproving of everything I do.
Arvedui: The exact opposite is true. If I didn't respect you, I wouldn't care enough.
Theo: you're just weird
Arvedui: Maybe.
Theo: what it looks like, you know, is that you see me as so unable to control myself that you have to lecture me at every stop lest I do harm
Arvedui: Actually, I see you as someone with great potential, and I try to direct you to use that potential. If it seems as if I am lecturing you at every turn, I'm sorry...
Theo: yes, yes. Have a suspiciously scented cookie
Arvedui: Thank you. *checks for poison, automaticallty*
Theo: so I wondered, if you've got all those antidotes that you can use if you identify it in time... why not mix multiple types?
Arvedui: Multiple antidotes or multiple poisons?
Theo: multiple poisons
Arvedui: You can, but not all of my antidotes are poison-specific. Most of them cancel the harshest and most commonly known effects of most poisons. They are just a perliminary treatment. Afterwards I can have more time to find out exactly what poison was used and find the right antidote for it.
Theo: hmm. *considering look* mixed with things that definitely aren't poison but still impairing...
Arvedui: Unless the extra materials give the mix some unexpected effect over the human body, it doesn't matter. By unexpected I mean something which was not already identified by scuence as something which can harm the body.
Theo: *evil look*
Arvedui: *pats* Adunaphel had some interesting ones.
Theo: got anything to hold off medicines? >.>
Arvedui: How do you mean?
Theo: I'm thinking of ones that have the side-affect of making you sleepy or lightheaded
Arvedui: Poppy makes a person sleep a deeper sleep than normal, and for far longer. In smaller doses it makes you see... strange things. >.>
Theo: I'm just looking for something that mixed with the various poisons would impair you enough to make figuring out the antidote a bit too hard
Arvedui: Ah, well... Let me see. It would have to be a powder. Certain mushrooms have both poisonous and distracting properties... It could be done, though the materials would be a bit hard to get by. You can always conk me over the head and then do what you want.
Theo: I already have some. I used to take them to stay happy >.>
Arvedui: O.O *immediatly chekcs Theo for signs of after effects*
Theo: ...not mushrooms.
Theo: I was saying I didn't need them, because I'd made the stuff I needed ages ago
Arvedui: Taking any sort of thing to 'make you happy' can leave after effects! Very harmful after effects! *double checks*
Theo: it's been months, Arvedui.
Arvedui: Which just goes to show how much you don't understand about such things. *triple checks, very concerned*
Theo: *smacks*
Arvedui: I deserved that. >.< But it's still important!
Theo: I understand what I do >:|
Arvedui: Maybe, and maybe not. What did you use for materials for this 'happy stuff'.
Theo: *lists ingredients*
Arvedui: !!! O.O Sweet Varda. *quadrupal check!*
Theo: I'd also like to point out that those last ones were added so it would manage to affect me. I haven't got normal biology
Arvedui: Normal biology or no, those are still dangerous substances... I admit that I find nothing wrong with you now, but if you feel funny - like your vision is a bit hazy, or you shake at odd times, tell me, all right?
Theo: no, there's just the random blackouts where I come to and there's corpses all around me
Arvedui: ...Please tell me you're joking? *is really really concerned*
Theo: I'm joking
Arvedui: Thank Eru... *really relieved*
Theo: >.> *patpat*
Arvedui: Just... Please promise me you won't try messig around with such things before asking my advice, all right?
Theo: I'll do as I please. I've been at it much longer than you
Arvedui: I doubt that.
Theo: have!
Arvedui: I've been trained in the arts of herbalism and posisons since I was 20. That was a bit over a century ago.
Theo: quiet. >.>
Arvedui: Most definitly not.
Theo: I'll be fine. I'm not nearly so depressive now anyway. >.> barring me going off it resulting in the woman thing, now that I think about it
Arvedui: *worried* Please don't take those things again?
Theo: >:| *getting determined to take them*
Arvedui: >.< All right, all right, I won't say another word on this. *worries like there's no tomorrow instead*
Theo: mmph
Arvedui: *worried fidgets*
Theo: *goes to work on some sleeping pills*
Arvedui: ...*doesn't sleep or eat because of the worry*
Theo: ...stop that.
Arvedui: I don't want you to be hurt.
Theo: fine. I won't take any more pills. Now take better care of yourself.
Arvedui: Thank you. *does so*
Theo: fsst
Arvedui: *still worries, but a lot less*
Theo: *is pleased with his garden*
Arvedui: *is pleased with it too*
Theo: *pleased over eight successful killings of Eomund* :D
Arvedui: *what he doesn't know is best left that way*
Theo: *goes for a tenth!*
Theo: *...and a ninth!*
Arvedui: It's a very nice garden
Theo: so far he's fallen for pretty much every poison in here. I guess it's time to mail him baneberries and see if they make him sick
Arvedui: Concentrated salt. It does unspeakable things to one's stomach.
Theo: oh. I guess I'll send him some of that too
Arvedui: *nods*
Theo: He says the recipes I've been sending him are very nice, but he thinks Theodhale is smothering him in his sleep.
Arvedui: He still counts, you know.
Theo: I'd say I was protecting the gene pool, but he's bred twice and keeps coming back
Arvedui: Yes, well, Mandos is different nowadays.
Theo: they took pity on him >.>
Arvedui: *shrugs*
Theo: so salt and baneberries. *goes to write up recipe*
Arvedui: *thinks of more interesting combinations*
Theo: *listens*
Arvedui: *describes, some of them are very inventive*
Theo: alas, poor Eomund
Arvedui: mmhmm.