(no subject)

[manny_got_back]

shitty weather really
i dunno. im pretty bummed really.. it just seems like nothing is working out/will work out right now.
ive been thinking, and i dont know why i always start thinking about things that make me wierd.
i just really need something to hold onto
its wierd
lately ive been in this constant mood where i feel like it just feels like nothing will look up. and the things that i thought were meant to be really arent
and its sorta hard to deal with that
i hate it
and im constantly making sure everyone else is alright and fine
and i spend too much time not worrying about myself
and im pretty sure thats my problem
im not doing anything
do you ever get that feeling like your life is lacking forward momentum, and that the only thing you know would put some structure and posture in your life just isnt happening
thats kinda how i feel
its like everything is fucked and the only thing i can do is sit around and watch it get even more messy

i miss talking to you, because noone talks to me like you
and no one can change how i feel like you
its like you have this invisible hand around my brain and all you have to do is shake it up a little and change a shitty thought into a nice one
or i dunno
like when the only thing i look forward to is hoping you had a good day
or your head is full of good things
and how i would do anything if i could make you realize how fucking beautiful you are
but i tell you alot
not as much as i think it, but alot
and how sad i am when i think that i cant ever be as happy with anyone else
but thats ok with me
because youre the standard for anyone i talk to
im just worried that i cant feel anymore
like i cant feel different

its wierd
i dunno

forget i even said anything