An event worthy of a holiday.
Today, in the place known as my kitchen, which, unbeknownst
to me, is a great place for making food, I created something that will stand
the test of time, something that will question the very foundations of human existence…a
cheese omelet. It was the illustrious prize of cooking with eggs that had eluded
me for centuries. (Ok, more like a few months, since I started kind of cooking
for myself now and then when I had a deep rooted starvation, or a craving for
anything that wasn’t yogurt, that was eating at my stomach and/or effecting my
train of though or other bodily functions, such as sleep, urinating, or
throwing watermelons at cars that drive by.) Today, though, I pulled if off.
Unlike so many other attempts, which failed miserably in a chunky set of
scrambled eggs, I stuck this landing.
More seriously though, I know it won’t really bring the justifications of existence into question, nor will it actually stand the test of time, for omelets usually begin to fade from existence about, oh, the time you eat them. But honestly, how many of you can actually say you have pulled off an omelet? I’m willing to bet there are a bunch of A-list celebrities who can’t even forge a cheese omelet in the depths of their kitchen. (Namely Rosie Odonnell, seen here: http://cip.uni-trier.de/adams/download/fat.JPG , for she would eat it before it got a chance to heat up, oh and Jesus Christ, seen here doing his latest black person impression: http://www.corder.org/bible.d/pic.d/Jesus.2.jpg , because for the most part he is a pansy and is afraid of hot surfaces.)
Honestly, don’t I deserve a pat on the back?
More seriously though, I know it won’t really bring the justifications of existence into question, nor will it actually stand the test of time, for omelets usually begin to fade from existence about, oh, the time you eat them. But honestly, how many of you can actually say you have pulled off an omelet? I’m willing to bet there are a bunch of A-list celebrities who can’t even forge a cheese omelet in the depths of their kitchen. (Namely Rosie Odonnell, seen here: http://cip.uni-trier.de/adams/download/fat.JPG , for she would eat it before it got a chance to heat up, oh and Jesus Christ, seen here doing his latest black person impression: http://www.corder.org/bible.d/pic.d/Jesus.2.jpg , because for the most part he is a pansy and is afraid of hot surfaces.)
Honestly, don’t I deserve a pat on the back?