(no subject)
i do not like matt damon. i have never liked matt damon. i'm sitting here watching the bourne identity and i have the next bourne movie sitting on my counter. i have these movies because i was at my friend wendy's house one day and i logged onto my netflix account from her sister's computer. sometime that day we got on the topic of matt damon and how i can't stand him. after i left they realized that i was still logged onto netflix and they decided to mess with me by putting all the matt damon movies on the top of my queue. i didn't notice they had done this until the first two bourne movies were already on their way. i actually think it's pretty hilarious but i've had these movies sitting on my counter for a couple weeks. lily is with her grandma today and my sunday coffee meeting was canceled so i'm finally biting the bullet and watching these movies.
speaking of netflix. i love how you can add friends on your netflix account and you can see what each other are watching and how you each rate certain movies. you can even make suggestions to one another. haha! anyone on netflix who wants to be my friend? lol!! i know....i'm a geek.
that fucker just shot clive owen!! bastard! i do love clive owen.
anyway. i also have the movie "milk" that i have to watch. i guess it's my movie day today. the in-laws took lily, my sister went out of town for three weeks, and coffee was canceled so i'm sitting here in my pajamas at almost noon watching movies, drinking coffee, and playing on the computer.
the in-laws took lily and i to see a fireworks show last night. lily had such a good time. she really liked all the pretty lights and colors in the sky. she loved being outside and playing. she just really had a blast. she's so cute. i wish O had been there with us. all i kept thinking was that i don't know if he will ever enjoy fireworks again because it sounds an awful lot like gunfire. will he always be reminded of combat when watching fireworks? a friend of mine says her hubby gets a little anxious when watching fireworks for that reason. yesterday was definitely a difficult holiday to celebrate without O because he is one of the reasons why we celebrate that day. all his mom kept saying was "look how pretty!" and all i kept thinking was the sacrifice my family makes so she can see those pretty lights. even though it's their son, they will never understand what we go through...what i go through...
i definitely think i need a change of scenery or something. i need something to get my mind off of this wait. hopefully E will make good and actually come visit next month. i think that will help a lot. sadly, i can't just pick up and leave right now because i'm taking care of my sister's cat for the next three weeks. this waiting is starting to wear on me though. i need something to change the monotony.
i think i'm probably going to go ahead and move to missouri when O goes to school there. i don't really think i can get to another deployment and be okay with the fact that i was away from him for 10 months by choice. i just want to make sure i don't lose myself again like i did up in watertown. that's what scares me the most...i'm scared i will get depressed again. i'm scared i'll gain a ton of weight again. i'm scared O and i will be at each others throats again. financially we will be better off by me going to missouri with him. and lily needs her daddy, and he needs her. i definitely think we will need to have some heavy conversations when he comes home for r&r.
oh, i lost another 2 pounds this last week. so that brings my total to 33 pounds lost. i really hope i can continue to lose 2 pounds a week because that will bring me down to 150 by the time O comes home for a couple weeks. we shall see.
that's it for now. i hope everyone had fun yesterday and are recovering today.
speaking of netflix. i love how you can add friends on your netflix account and you can see what each other are watching and how you each rate certain movies. you can even make suggestions to one another. haha! anyone on netflix who wants to be my friend? lol!! i know....i'm a geek.
that fucker just shot clive owen!! bastard! i do love clive owen.
anyway. i also have the movie "milk" that i have to watch. i guess it's my movie day today. the in-laws took lily, my sister went out of town for three weeks, and coffee was canceled so i'm sitting here in my pajamas at almost noon watching movies, drinking coffee, and playing on the computer.
the in-laws took lily and i to see a fireworks show last night. lily had such a good time. she really liked all the pretty lights and colors in the sky. she loved being outside and playing. she just really had a blast. she's so cute. i wish O had been there with us. all i kept thinking was that i don't know if he will ever enjoy fireworks again because it sounds an awful lot like gunfire. will he always be reminded of combat when watching fireworks? a friend of mine says her hubby gets a little anxious when watching fireworks for that reason. yesterday was definitely a difficult holiday to celebrate without O because he is one of the reasons why we celebrate that day. all his mom kept saying was "look how pretty!" and all i kept thinking was the sacrifice my family makes so she can see those pretty lights. even though it's their son, they will never understand what we go through...what i go through...
i definitely think i need a change of scenery or something. i need something to get my mind off of this wait. hopefully E will make good and actually come visit next month. i think that will help a lot. sadly, i can't just pick up and leave right now because i'm taking care of my sister's cat for the next three weeks. this waiting is starting to wear on me though. i need something to change the monotony.
i think i'm probably going to go ahead and move to missouri when O goes to school there. i don't really think i can get to another deployment and be okay with the fact that i was away from him for 10 months by choice. i just want to make sure i don't lose myself again like i did up in watertown. that's what scares me the most...i'm scared i will get depressed again. i'm scared i'll gain a ton of weight again. i'm scared O and i will be at each others throats again. financially we will be better off by me going to missouri with him. and lily needs her daddy, and he needs her. i definitely think we will need to have some heavy conversations when he comes home for r&r.
oh, i lost another 2 pounds this last week. so that brings my total to 33 pounds lost. i really hope i can continue to lose 2 pounds a week because that will bring me down to 150 by the time O comes home for a couple weeks. we shall see.
that's it for now. i hope everyone had fun yesterday and are recovering today.