(no subject)

[mannadonn]

i kind of feel like i'm being tested. monday i was able to go for a run and i felt great all day. yesterday was my easy walk and my shins started hurting again. today i tried to run but got about 10 seconds in and felt that all too familiar stabbing pain. i want to say that i'm frustrated but i'm really not. i kind of feel peaceful about it. i really want to run but i know that i can do this without running...i have to. so back to the test. i feel like i'm being tested because in the past i've allowed myself to be derailed too easily from my healthy lifestyle of working out and eating right. it has come too easily to me in the past. i quickly lose weight and i quickly get distracted and i quickly gain weight again. this time though, the struggle is real. i feel like i'm working hard for this and i want it more now than i ever have before. the more obstacles that are thrown at me the harder i want to fight and prove that i have what it takes! maybe all this work and struggle will sink in and help me know that i never want to let it go again. maybe this will help me stick with this permanently and not be so easily distracted because of how hard i've worked.

i have this thing in me...this drive. if someone tells me i can't do something...i will do everything in my power and prove them wrong at every turn. i feel like the gauntlet has been thrown. the challenge has been extended. the gloves are off and i'm ready to fight baby. you think you can win but you have underestimated me as your opponent. never say die. i will not bow down to you. i will crush you. i will impale you upon your own ego! bring it on bitch...i've come here to party.