(no subject)
It just suddenly occured to me the other day that in the year since i left uni i've got no further forward in my dream of being a writer. I got annoyed a few months ago cos i was described at work as being a writer 'in my spare time', when as far as i was concerned working is something i do inbetween writing not the other way around.
Recently though i've realised that i have no right to feel any sort of indignation. Nothing i've done journalism wise could be considered professional: I've never been paid for the words i vomit onto a page, i've never even found a job in the industry to apply for with my qualifications cos theyre all down south. Aside from sending an email to a webeditor i've never earned a gig or earned from a gig and thus i have no reason whatsoever to believe that i deserve to be. I've basically paid 9 grand in uni fees to get some free cds and gig tickets alongside people who set up blogs on a whim. Even worse is when i read older articles of mine which are funnier and more daring than what i'm doing now in my 'spare time'. Any ability i did have is being lost to tired technicalities which anyone could put onto a page.
Two people have asked me recently about journalism. I've no idea why. Ask me about getting free stuff fine, but why would you want to ask me when i'm nowhere? Its not like i've even failed, its much worse. It feels like I haven't even tried.
Recently though i've realised that i have no right to feel any sort of indignation. Nothing i've done journalism wise could be considered professional: I've never been paid for the words i vomit onto a page, i've never even found a job in the industry to apply for with my qualifications cos theyre all down south. Aside from sending an email to a webeditor i've never earned a gig or earned from a gig and thus i have no reason whatsoever to believe that i deserve to be. I've basically paid 9 grand in uni fees to get some free cds and gig tickets alongside people who set up blogs on a whim. Even worse is when i read older articles of mine which are funnier and more daring than what i'm doing now in my 'spare time'. Any ability i did have is being lost to tired technicalities which anyone could put onto a page.
Two people have asked me recently about journalism. I've no idea why. Ask me about getting free stuff fine, but why would you want to ask me when i'm nowhere? Its not like i've even failed, its much worse. It feels like I haven't even tried.