You Cannot Expect Me Not to Put This in My Act
On her latest comedy special, Kathy Griffin tells a story about Renee Zellweger. Having been mercilessly lampooned in Griffin's act, Zellweger approached her at an event affecting a "ghetto" accent and saying over and over again "I GET IT!" while ticcing rapidly. Kathy got the devil horns. She knew that Zellweger was trying to be the bigger person but she thought, "You cannot expect me not to put this in my act." And so it goes every time Kathy Griffin meets a crazy celebrity. She gets those itchy devil horns.
And so it was when I saw this article today: Morrison Collaborates with Chasez on Solo Album. Let's start with the obvious: Matthew Morrison is making an album. Not an album of covers or Broadway standards--a GENUINE POP ALBUM. Like a real one. With singles! And music videos!
I find this extra hilarious because I've long considered Morrison the Justin Timberlake of Broadway. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that he would actually try to become Justin Timberlake, although I suppose it's fitting since Justin Timberlake fancies himself an actor now.
So what is the logical next move for Morrison? Hiring Justin's former boy bandmate, the inimitable JC Chasez, to work on his album with him. Of course! Because who knows how to put out a successful solo record better than JC Chasez? I mean, it's not like his album flopped so hard that he never even attempted to make another album or anything! I kid because I love though (I'm talking about JC, not Morrison, obvs). I liked Schizophrenic. I think JC showed promise as a songwriter and he definitely can sing. But his lyrics were atrocious. So I hope he gave some of the really blue, overly sexual stuff to Morrison. I mean, how amazing would that be?
Oh, BUT IT GETS BETTER, YOU GUYS. This is an ACTUAL QUOTE courtesy of Golden Globe and Emmy nominee Matthew Morrison: "It's very eclectic. I'm doing some great duets. I can't release who they're with yet, [but it's] some people that you've probably heard of before, that you've definitely heard of before. It's gonna be a little adult contemporary, and there's gonna be some pop songs that you can shake your moneymaker to in the club."
Do I even need a joke for this? How old is Matt Morrison? 32? Even Zac "The Best Link Larkin" Efron had the self-awareness to not record a solo album. And he was, like, 18 when he made that decision. And all his peers were doing it. He said, "Nah, I think I'm going to be a real actor." Matthew Morrison says, "All those years of being in fake boy bands and then being a Broadway heartthrob have really taught me a lot about what is hip with the kids these days. People say 'hip,' right?"
He is so Mr. Schuester in real life. I bet there is rapping on the album. PLEASE LET THERE BE RAPPING. I just put some popcorn in the microwave, Kathy. This act is gonna write itself.
And so it was when I saw this article today: Morrison Collaborates with Chasez on Solo Album. Let's start with the obvious: Matthew Morrison is making an album. Not an album of covers or Broadway standards--a GENUINE POP ALBUM. Like a real one. With singles! And music videos!
I find this extra hilarious because I've long considered Morrison the Justin Timberlake of Broadway. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that he would actually try to become Justin Timberlake, although I suppose it's fitting since Justin Timberlake fancies himself an actor now.
So what is the logical next move for Morrison? Hiring Justin's former boy bandmate, the inimitable JC Chasez, to work on his album with him. Of course! Because who knows how to put out a successful solo record better than JC Chasez? I mean, it's not like his album flopped so hard that he never even attempted to make another album or anything! I kid because I love though (I'm talking about JC, not Morrison, obvs). I liked Schizophrenic. I think JC showed promise as a songwriter and he definitely can sing. But his lyrics were atrocious. So I hope he gave some of the really blue, overly sexual stuff to Morrison. I mean, how amazing would that be?
Oh, BUT IT GETS BETTER, YOU GUYS. This is an ACTUAL QUOTE courtesy of Golden Globe and Emmy nominee Matthew Morrison: "It's very eclectic. I'm doing some great duets. I can't release who they're with yet, [but it's] some people that you've probably heard of before, that you've definitely heard of before. It's gonna be a little adult contemporary, and there's gonna be some pop songs that you can shake your moneymaker to in the club."
Do I even need a joke for this? How old is Matt Morrison? 32? Even Zac "The Best Link Larkin" Efron had the self-awareness to not record a solo album. And he was, like, 18 when he made that decision. And all his peers were doing it. He said, "Nah, I think I'm going to be a real actor." Matthew Morrison says, "All those years of being in fake boy bands and then being a Broadway heartthrob have really taught me a lot about what is hip with the kids these days. People say 'hip,' right?"
He is so Mr. Schuester in real life. I bet there is rapping on the album. PLEASE LET THERE BE RAPPING. I just put some popcorn in the microwave, Kathy. This act is gonna write itself.