dear journal
never broke up with some one and was afraid too since she's a recovering heroin attic and suicidal is a very pussy way and generally loves drugs that i've never ever done but hey i wasn't mean to be and there was no flame or real interest on my part so I get i care about myself at least somewhat to try to get out of it. so i did and got scared. 2 weeks later she has been a prisoner in her own home by some crackheads who she gave keys to her apartment to who trash the place and invite even more crackheads over to her house despite her pleading not too, yet smoking their crack along with them and getting raped by a man and getting yelled at by some tramp saying "i get raped all the time it's no big deal, shut the fuck up." and i feel like it was my fault really for not listening to my fears and not realizing that i was pretty much keeping her alive even if I wasn;t in to it or having any happiness or real feeling of love. plus she's like my best friend, one of the only persons I've hung out with for months and i care about her, but i really just want her to go away and be normal and suck my dicks cos she likes too so much... what a dilema. SAY NO TO DRUGS, she was close to being forced into prostitution all for crack in the matter of week. so kids if you are thinking of dumping your girlfriend and she's a total mindfuck with a history of hard drug problems, better think twice or you just have to let go and say fuck off you piece of white trash, you are tottally disgusting and a worthless person. but i am not that mean.