why
why does a girl tell you she's loved you for years and years and finally we come together and i fall for her and then it has to end immediately and yet she still feels the same way, and still says this is what i always wanted and things happen for a reason, no regrets, yet she breaks my heart for no real reason, she kills the fate we had and i am supposed to deal with it like i'm able to. i really can't deal with it. why do i have such shitty luck. i just want to fucking live life but life just makes me not want to live. i'm so sick of heartache, i'm sick of hopelessness, i'm sick of sedation, i'm sick of alcohol, i'm sick of music, i'm sick of videogames. i just want love, like the beatles said. that's all i'm asking my livejournal for, as pathetic as that is. just give me some love for once in my life. i don't want to die.