this has to be a non favorite time of year
i just get sick of thinking about how things would be better if i died. lol. seriously though. i don't think i am going to have a good life at all. it's not a good attitude to have. i dont have a good attitude. i give up. i just wanna be high and have things pan out for me without actually doing anything, i dunno what to do. or why, or the point of it. it's all very stupid, this life of mine. come to realize i am not worthy of friends or relationships because i am seriously in a shell that is bigger than me, and i cannot fulfill the act of being a normal human with a heart, someone who you can count on. i have a heart but it's on vacation in mexico and it's speaking mostly spanish and not even thinking in english. i blabber on. there is no point to any message other than the fact that everyday is suffering, and every moment i have is for me to waste and let go by. goodnight cold world.