(no subject)
cuz its all in my head...i think about it over and over again and i cant keep picturing you with him..it hurts so bad. i cant take it. i cant shake it. i cant wait to see you...wanna see if you had that look in your eye. that one you had for me before we said our goodbyes and its a shame that we gotta spend our time being mad about the same things. i remember the day that you left i remember the last breath you took right in front of me. when you said that you would leave i was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything. i see cleary now and this choice that i made keeps playing in my head.
why cant i just run away from everything. why does everything that i do always haunt me and come back to either hurt me or bite me in the ass. my mom and i talked the other day and she said that she wishes that i would just "get outta this phase" that im in. she said that young teenages usually go through what i am right now...being rebelious and all. she thinks that i never got the oppertunity to do that when i was in high school. its not that i didnt have the chance..its just that i didnt take the chance. i didnt want to ruin everything that i had but look where that got me. ive learned that you need to make yourself happy and i cant say that i wasnt happy but theres sometimes when you need to put other people infront of yourself before you make your mind up about certain things. if i could go back there would be alot that i would change but would i really want it to be different? i dont think that i would. i would want some pain and sorrows to go away but i wouldnt be who i am today if i went back and changed things. i really dont think that i would if i had the chance. although i say that now but if i could and i was in the situation i would change things because im a spur of the moment kinda person and thats probably what gets me in trouble with like everyone and everything. i dont think before i either say things or do them.
i cant say that im really excited to go home for thanksgiving. i dont have a car...what am i going to do? i wish that i had money to pay my insurance. this sucks. im broke.
on another note. i got my homework done tonight and it only took 5 hours to write ONE paper but the point is that its done and im over it. yeah thats the point.
well i better get on the horn and go down to michelles room to watch a movie before capt. bitch starts her yellin that i cant talk again lol. i love it.
someone save me from my life.
why cant i just run away from everything. why does everything that i do always haunt me and come back to either hurt me or bite me in the ass. my mom and i talked the other day and she said that she wishes that i would just "get outta this phase" that im in. she said that young teenages usually go through what i am right now...being rebelious and all. she thinks that i never got the oppertunity to do that when i was in high school. its not that i didnt have the chance..its just that i didnt take the chance. i didnt want to ruin everything that i had but look where that got me. ive learned that you need to make yourself happy and i cant say that i wasnt happy but theres sometimes when you need to put other people infront of yourself before you make your mind up about certain things. if i could go back there would be alot that i would change but would i really want it to be different? i dont think that i would. i would want some pain and sorrows to go away but i wouldnt be who i am today if i went back and changed things. i really dont think that i would if i had the chance. although i say that now but if i could and i was in the situation i would change things because im a spur of the moment kinda person and thats probably what gets me in trouble with like everyone and everything. i dont think before i either say things or do them.
i cant say that im really excited to go home for thanksgiving. i dont have a car...what am i going to do? i wish that i had money to pay my insurance. this sucks. im broke.
on another note. i got my homework done tonight and it only took 5 hours to write ONE paper but the point is that its done and im over it. yeah thats the point.
well i better get on the horn and go down to michelles room to watch a movie before capt. bitch starts her yellin that i cant talk again lol. i love it.
someone save me from my life.