memories.
Ah~ its already have been 13 years since then. Today, 13 years ago, at this date of the year my grandfather died from the stupid most world known disease, known as the cancer.
I know it may be stupid, I mean 13 years already passed since then, so why do I bring it up? Maybe I am someone who tends to think a lot, tend to get into things too much but I can't help it. Because every time I stop to think of it, think of him I can't help but remember the day it all happened.
I was 5+ years old when my grandfather, mum's dad died. I remember that mummy didn’t come to take me from the kindergarten that day, that one of my friend's mother, which was very close to us back then, told me that my mother said that I will go with them and that I will get ready at their house because my clothes were already there for the night party.
Party? Kids? Yeah… this date is the night before our holiday start, holiday which called Hanukkah, and everyone tend to celebrate in their work place/school etc night before. The kids are singing together in their kindergarten, getting yummy jelly doughnuts and stuff.
So I went together with my friend's mum and there we got ready and then we went together to the party where I should have preformed to our parents together with the other kids.
I don’t know why but I didn’t even asked when my dad is, all I remember is that I had a very bad feeling and all night I asked where my mum, why mum don’t come? I didn’t want to perform but I did and all night the only thing that crossed my mind was why mum won't come to see me. Doesn’t she love me? Or did she don’t want me anymore? Was she angry with me?
You know all kids stupid childish questions and thoughts. And yes, although I was that little then, I still remember every detail clearly in my head, it's always bring me to tears, even now, that sad feeling and yet, I can't help but chuckle when I thought that mum doesn’t love me anymore.
And yeah, the next day when I went home (I slept at my friend house) I found out that my father was dead.
Now everything made sense, because day before the party, one single day before he was found lifeless in his bed, he called everyone and took one by one, hugging us, kissing and you know, giving us his blessing.
It was his farewell, it's like he knew he was going to die soon and he did.
Now, all left to say is that even though it has been already 13 years, I still remember everything and not only that, I don’t remember only the day of his death I remember him. Maybe not so clearly but I still have some memories from him.
I'm happy, glad that unlike my other little cousins, I was able together with the older people here in my family, was able to meet him, to get to know him and spend some time with him and I remember very clearly that he loved me, he used to laugh every time he saw me, that thought alone makes me very happy.
This is it now.
<3
I know it may be stupid, I mean 13 years already passed since then, so why do I bring it up? Maybe I am someone who tends to think a lot, tend to get into things too much but I can't help it. Because every time I stop to think of it, think of him I can't help but remember the day it all happened.
I was 5+ years old when my grandfather, mum's dad died. I remember that mummy didn’t come to take me from the kindergarten that day, that one of my friend's mother, which was very close to us back then, told me that my mother said that I will go with them and that I will get ready at their house because my clothes were already there for the night party.
Party? Kids? Yeah… this date is the night before our holiday start, holiday which called Hanukkah, and everyone tend to celebrate in their work place/school etc night before. The kids are singing together in their kindergarten, getting yummy jelly doughnuts and stuff.
So I went together with my friend's mum and there we got ready and then we went together to the party where I should have preformed to our parents together with the other kids.
I don’t know why but I didn’t even asked when my dad is, all I remember is that I had a very bad feeling and all night I asked where my mum, why mum don’t come? I didn’t want to perform but I did and all night the only thing that crossed my mind was why mum won't come to see me. Doesn’t she love me? Or did she don’t want me anymore? Was she angry with me?
You know all kids stupid childish questions and thoughts. And yes, although I was that little then, I still remember every detail clearly in my head, it's always bring me to tears, even now, that sad feeling and yet, I can't help but chuckle when I thought that mum doesn’t love me anymore.
And yeah, the next day when I went home (I slept at my friend house) I found out that my father was dead.
Now everything made sense, because day before the party, one single day before he was found lifeless in his bed, he called everyone and took one by one, hugging us, kissing and you know, giving us his blessing.
It was his farewell, it's like he knew he was going to die soon and he did.
Now, all left to say is that even though it has been already 13 years, I still remember everything and not only that, I don’t remember only the day of his death I remember him. Maybe not so clearly but I still have some memories from him.
I'm happy, glad that unlike my other little cousins, I was able together with the older people here in my family, was able to meet him, to get to know him and spend some time with him and I remember very clearly that he loved me, he used to laugh every time he saw me, that thought alone makes me very happy.
This is it now.
<3