To every season there is a time and a purpose.
Once an amazing fortune cookie of mine said "things will get better in the spring" well grand did i fucking miss something. I got that cookie last mid summer so i assumed it ment the up coming spring. Seriously. So Yay boyfriend of spring= ross. Was grand except a lack of money, lack of communication, and now lack of pretty much anything outside of a title. Which keeps me going and trying, and emailing and calling. And not getting much ever in return. About a week and a half i have talked to him on the phone for 8 minutes maybe. I have messaged him a good ton, but didnt get anything back there. Oh dont get me wrong those first 4 days i said nothing, assuming he was busy or something. Well i guess he might be, but he isnt too busy to go to someones house to play on myspace for a few hours (his place does not have internet!). merg. Tonight it movie night at collins. I want to go but only if i get ahold of toni. Recently i have been realizing because i never stay in one place to long, or have time to develope those forever friendships, that leaves me with out those group of friends that are always there. I mean Toni, Brad Lawrence, Odle, Pietak, and Mike furton have been there sooooooo much for me this past year its insane. and i have been finally feeling that i have expended my welcome as friend or something. i mean i spend days alone and with family, but i always like having people around and sometimes i think the people who happen to be around are sick of me. Like i Call Toni or Pietak first to see whats going on. Then i call brad to see what he is doing, then mike and usually eventually after like 3-5 phone calls hours apart someone isnt busy. odle i call almost everynight. So much so its hard to sleep with out. I mean that kid has made me laugh and smile when i felt the lowest of the low. Those are my friends who never judged me by what others said. And i am so thankful for them, but recently i just have felt very out of place. 3 out of 5 of them grew up more or less together...or at least the last 6 years. Right now i wish i hadnt spent so much money trying to make ross and me work from a distance, and saved some of it, so when things arise i can go do them with my friends. or even go see odle in florida. ugh i dont know i am just lost. and feeling a bit lonely even when around friends. :-(