Pass the revolver. Its time to play some russian roulette.
Do you ever just get those feelings.....
Something just isnt fucking right. Well I have them. For several reasons. I dont want a lot of people in my personal life. But I fucking have those feelings. My body keeps trying to detach itself from me. Pulling away. Making me just dizzy and sick to my stomach and my vision completely just distorted and blurry that I cant even see to examine whats laying before me.
I am about to either have to fucking pick myself up off this floor and get my shit together (which I do not have my shit together, and a couple of you know this for certain) or i might as well shoot myself and end the slow painful process of self loathing and dieing. One in particular, I need to get over whatever it is that I am trying to get over and move on. I am about to be responsible for not only myself but something greater, something that will stick with me for a life time, my own fucking destiny. And how I am suppose to come out and say this I dont know. I am scared shitless. I know none of this makes sense at all to any of you except for one person. The greatest best fucking friend that I could ever talk to. Someone that I know will be there for a lifetime through thick and thin. Thank you so very much. I love all of my friends.
I need help on what to do. I need to see a doctor soon. If I dont my body and health could go to shit real quick like. I am afraid of what will be said. I cant go through another loss again. The tears are coming to my eyes as I think about Maz. Fuck... Everything is just so fucking wrong right now. How did this fucking happen. I am sorry. I dont even know what for, but I am really fucking sorry.
Somethings have to end. Specially when they are going violently down a deep dark spiral.
Something just isnt fucking right. Well I have them. For several reasons. I dont want a lot of people in my personal life. But I fucking have those feelings. My body keeps trying to detach itself from me. Pulling away. Making me just dizzy and sick to my stomach and my vision completely just distorted and blurry that I cant even see to examine whats laying before me.
I am about to either have to fucking pick myself up off this floor and get my shit together (which I do not have my shit together, and a couple of you know this for certain) or i might as well shoot myself and end the slow painful process of self loathing and dieing. One in particular, I need to get over whatever it is that I am trying to get over and move on. I am about to be responsible for not only myself but something greater, something that will stick with me for a life time, my own fucking destiny. And how I am suppose to come out and say this I dont know. I am scared shitless. I know none of this makes sense at all to any of you except for one person. The greatest best fucking friend that I could ever talk to. Someone that I know will be there for a lifetime through thick and thin. Thank you so very much. I love all of my friends.
I need help on what to do. I need to see a doctor soon. If I dont my body and health could go to shit real quick like. I am afraid of what will be said. I cant go through another loss again. The tears are coming to my eyes as I think about Maz. Fuck... Everything is just so fucking wrong right now. How did this fucking happen. I am sorry. I dont even know what for, but I am really fucking sorry.
Somethings have to end. Specially when they are going violently down a deep dark spiral.