feelings
I'm bored so I'll sit her and write down my feelings. Bare my soul on this piece of notebook paper. Bland is the paper, but colorful is my soul. [looking back that sounds really gay] My mind is alive with questions. My heart is littered with feelings that oppose my mind. My stomach is tense with the confrontation of mind and heart. Above all there is a constant sense of nausea in waiting, feiled with time to think today. and my mind flourishes. I wonder to myself if I'm emo. then im reminded of the fact that i cannot stand tight clothing. Scatterbrained am i today. my arms ache with the desire to hold her. the desire to awaken my passionate and intense. Intense is a very small word to explain wat i mean. my eyes have never showed my feelings as clear as they did that night. when her palms touched my sides they opened such a powerful longing in my heart. I turned and my eyes, practically shone. My longing that sees her in pefect clarity, allowing me to see everything that she is. That sees her glourious smile, the angelic curves of her face. Even in her sadness shes pefect. My intentions have been searched long and hard, theyre pure. above all else, i want to hold her, hold her till everything besides me and her seems to just fade away. How much difference can three months really make, alot. I'll show her that im a little different now, ive learned things, important lessons, alot of them actually. I have learned control of myself, and i have learned some of the darker aspects of life as well, those are unfortunate, but needed lesson. I dont know how i learned control, but all the sudden one day it was there, like it was always there but i just couldnt see it till now. Maybe im just thinking that, but i believe it. Also i diffenitly did not see her value, I see it now. and she seems as out of reach as a mountain. I hope to think that maybe it isnt that out of reach... I need to find out