i'm so tired of feeling like i was the only one who did something wrong.

[manicexpressive]

JUST because i cannot respond to comments, here's the long, overly drawn out, ego stroking, livejournal entry that you're waiting for: i want the past to finally die off and i've been wanting it to for a while now; you know this. i tried to do it in as friendly and civil of a manner as i could possibly stand (seeing as how people/places/things that i care about mean more to me than just a good time or two), but knowing you and your (self admit) condescending ways, you HAD to go and get the last word in, didn't you? and, yes, i AM a "minipulative brat", i can admit this. in fact, i am a "minipulative brat" who, for the most part, doesn't really care about anyone other than myself and will milk almost anyone who crosses my path for all they're worth and then dump them, like yesterday's garbage. oh no! my true colors are revealed! (as if people couldn't tell anyway). however, you just HAPPENED to be one of the very few people who broke through my selfishness and never, NOT ONE TIME, did i EVER act that way towards you. i NEVER let you see that side of me, because all i EVER did and all i EVER wanted from you was to try to be your friend. i thought i saw myself in you, i thought you understood, but i was WRONG. i may be a brat, but, as small as it may be, at least i have a fucking HEART. you just couldn't deal with the fact that you actually had someone that cared about YOU. not who they THINK you are, but YOU. deny it all you want, but the chances of you finding someone who will put up with as much bullshit from you, as i did, and then want to stay regardless, are slim to none. i really hope you meant it when you said you're greatful for me being there, because i can fucking assure you no one else wanted to be. i am so tired of keeping my mouth shut, because i am afraid of your response, of you degrading me and putting me down like you ALWAYS do. i mean, shireen is ALWAYS right, isn't she?! but it obviously doesn't matter NOW. it almost hurts me watching you blindly crawl through life, clinging on to any personality you can posibly find, because you're so fucking insecure that you can't handle having one of your own. that's why you go through friends more often then you take shits. once people realise everything "cool" about you is forced, they split. seriously, you can shop at gomi, you can get your hair cut at fancy salons and you can go on all the trendy "diets" your parents money can buy, but you'll still always be little westlake kid shireen, from austin, texas. always whining about trivial bullshit, with no intelligible reasoning behind it!!! anyway, as i said, i tried to be nice about it and i tried to make some sort of makeshift happy ending, because i THOUGHT (silly me!) that after everything we went through, that one was deserved. oh well, too late now. and, as far as YOU are concerned, BERLIN, don't even TRY and say that you took me off because you respect my wishes to end the past. you know you did it solely because you're shireen's new lapdog and you just wanted to be an asshole to score brownie points. i almost feel bad for you, considering all she used to do was talk to me about how big of a piece of shit you were/are. what a great friend you've got! whatever, though. it's not my business.
go ahead and write whatever nastiness you can come up with, JUST because i told the TRUTH. i am not going to concern myself (reading or responding) with what some scene FUCKS think they know about me. regardless, i really hope that there is at least one shred of decency left in both of you, to just let me revel in my bitchy livejournal entry and get on with life. that's where this all originated from in the first place.

anyway, i have a warm bed and a cute boy calling, so i'm done with this bullshit. never will your names, or anything that has to do with either of you, be mentioned in my journal EVER again.