Now who's going to say "I told you so"?
Monday morning...not doing too much, just mostly
sitting hear and thinking of where my summer went...It seeems like just
yesterday I was thinking about going to by my summer reading books and
now...I'm screwed, but oh well. I leave this thursday to CWS, Yay!
Something to actually say I did something this summer, its not like I
got a job or anything...lazy ass bum. *sigh* My head hurts from too
much thinking, so I'm just going to stop thinking, too much to worry
about and I'm probably not going to live long enough to see all that I
worry about through, so oh well, I can just do the best I can and hope
that it all works out.
Nhi is finally over..Good or bad? I would have to say "ok". I'm going to miss seeing everyone from all the categories every Sunday at EPCC, but then again after so many months of hearing the same speeches, it gets a little old, So until the banquet and then until next year. But I will still keep in touch with some people, so who knows, might not be that long.
And now that I think about it there is something on my mind. How do we as people know who to really believe or trust? When everyone's opinions and views are based on what they have seen and experiences, and yet everyone is different in what they say. Who then is the right judgment to follow through with, other than our own. Yet when all the logic in your head goes to work and still no answer comes up, what then? What about the simple fear of being wrong cancelled out by the curiousity and wanting to know of the outcome, and the frustration of such a long wait, and the anger of having waited so long to answer. And so we come back to thinking too much, thinking too much of all the judgments and opinions of other people when really only yours maters in the end, but by now you are alone because you did not listen to anyone. So you are left to follow through with what you should have done a long time ago, but yet now you think it is far too late to even do anything about. Your mind freezes and you have no idea how to act or what to do. All your options seem gone and you are alone out in the water waiting to sink as fast as you surfaced, but yet still you are only sitting in the same chair listening to your heart beat faster and faster. The only thing able to calm you is the understanding that you are still just sitting down and you are alone here. No one left to say anything to you about how you should feel or think. So now you need a plan, but at the same time any plan probably wouldn't come out just as you thought, so you should just go by your instincts. So you begin to think of how your instincts will play out, but with that you have just made a plan, that will not follow through quite as you thought, so again you must stop thinking so much, but again time is running out. Too much to do and not enough time it would seem, so why even try anymore? And again you quiet that voice in the back of your mind arguing what you already know is true. And still you are sitting there without a plan, hoping to act on instinct, hoping that something will pop into your mind, that your logic will stop trying to stop your hand and head from fighting. And then the music fades, and still you are only sitting there, left to make such a simple choice that you had to complicate it into a whole long paragraph of rambling and non-sensical jibberish to calm your self down and be able to think, but thinking was always the problem. Wait..what was I talking about?
Nhi is finally over..Good or bad? I would have to say "ok". I'm going to miss seeing everyone from all the categories every Sunday at EPCC, but then again after so many months of hearing the same speeches, it gets a little old, So until the banquet and then until next year. But I will still keep in touch with some people, so who knows, might not be that long.
And now that I think about it there is something on my mind. How do we as people know who to really believe or trust? When everyone's opinions and views are based on what they have seen and experiences, and yet everyone is different in what they say. Who then is the right judgment to follow through with, other than our own. Yet when all the logic in your head goes to work and still no answer comes up, what then? What about the simple fear of being wrong cancelled out by the curiousity and wanting to know of the outcome, and the frustration of such a long wait, and the anger of having waited so long to answer. And so we come back to thinking too much, thinking too much of all the judgments and opinions of other people when really only yours maters in the end, but by now you are alone because you did not listen to anyone. So you are left to follow through with what you should have done a long time ago, but yet now you think it is far too late to even do anything about. Your mind freezes and you have no idea how to act or what to do. All your options seem gone and you are alone out in the water waiting to sink as fast as you surfaced, but yet still you are only sitting in the same chair listening to your heart beat faster and faster. The only thing able to calm you is the understanding that you are still just sitting down and you are alone here. No one left to say anything to you about how you should feel or think. So now you need a plan, but at the same time any plan probably wouldn't come out just as you thought, so you should just go by your instincts. So you begin to think of how your instincts will play out, but with that you have just made a plan, that will not follow through quite as you thought, so again you must stop thinking so much, but again time is running out. Too much to do and not enough time it would seem, so why even try anymore? And again you quiet that voice in the back of your mind arguing what you already know is true. And still you are sitting there without a plan, hoping to act on instinct, hoping that something will pop into your mind, that your logic will stop trying to stop your hand and head from fighting. And then the music fades, and still you are only sitting there, left to make such a simple choice that you had to complicate it into a whole long paragraph of rambling and non-sensical jibberish to calm your self down and be able to think, but thinking was always the problem. Wait..what was I talking about?