Sales, and how much i hate you retail bastards
Dear Customer,
It is not funny to pick on the waitresses. It is not funny to repeatedly ask for things not on the menu, berate us for not having them, insult our intelligence and refer to us as 'the servants'. It is also not funny to make a waitress run around after you for an hour and deal with your bullcrap, then tip the OTHER waitress that brought the coffee right in front of the first waitress. Especially not when the tip equals an hour's pay.
It is also not funny to steal other people's meals. This means that people on your table get the wrong food, and we get yelled at about it. It is equally not funny to refuse to own up to ordering things that I WROTE DOWN in front of you, or make me make a dozen ice cream sundays then decide you don't want them.
It is thirdly not funny to inform me that I'm the senior waitress and thus have to get everything right/set an example, then have the new waitress who's been hired for ONE DAY but is in her fifties take over everything, and shout at me for not informing her that I'd done a job I was told to do but she had taken it upon herself to do afterwards. Fine bloody example that sets to the other girls.
It is also not funny to pick on the store clerks.
For instance, if you are dicking around with your choices and making a sales staff run to the store room one million times to see 'if we have that in red', don't apologise for being annoying. STOP BEING ANNOYING. Apologising is NOT a get-out-of-jail-free card for being a dick. You have shown awareness of being an irritating pestilence upon mankind - you are capable of stopping it.
Similarly, don't tell me to run something through the system and then decide you want something else, 'but i'm not sure'.
Oh, and my personal favourite. Sales staff are generally experienced with their product. We know what we sell. So if you ask for our advice, then decide to buy a bag we have TOLD you will not fit your laptop but is $50 cheaper - why the everloving snot gods of the ether did you ask us in the first place? I cannot change the laws of physics, and for a small-minded piece of baboon excrement like yourself, i don't actually want to.
Finally, being scammed by fellow staffers for discounts and sales points on behalf of customers is rude as hell.
I am going to be so glad when this christmas season is over.
love,
the bile-filled pixie