When the Sun Shuts Down Pt.1 [Haehyuk!FicTrade]
Title: When the Sun Shuts Down
Pairing: Haehyuk
Side Pairing(s): One-sided!Sihae
Genre(s): Smut, Angst, and Romance
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I wish I own these wonderful boys, but apparently I don't *w* but it's all good since the fic is mine :3
Warning: Unbeta’d, mentions of death, YAOI…and what else?
Summary: Donghae is keeping a secret, a secret that he has epilepsy. No one besides himself knows it, and because he’s a stubborn fish he kept this little secret to himself, in hopes that his members will never find out, along with the love of his life, Eunhyuk. In order to prevent an outbreak, he clandestinely takes pills but eventually he gets fed up with all the hiding and decides to disappear. How will he manage when his love and life is being tested?
Word Count: 8,850
Requested by: katane_chan
A/N: Err…well…I don’t know much about Epilepsy and I had to research about it ^^” *sighs* this was hard to write T____T I don’t usually write smut, they’re mostly implied whenever I write my fics xD I hope you all don’t die after this…I seriously tried my best ^^” sorry katane_chankatane_chan if it didn't go the way you wanted it TnT Honestly, I didn't think I'd write this many words xDD but yeah :) Enjoy~~~
~No One’s Pov~
When the sun shuts down, everyone will cease to exist. Our shadows will no longer dance along the ground, following our every step. The process of restarting the world will start over again, that is, if it was possible.
Lee Donghae. He’s a wonderful guy. Lee Donghae’s a man who everyone loves and adores, a man who no one can ever be angry at, he was as bright as the sun, and he had no worries. In this case: his life was perfect. He had the love of his life by his side, the best members anyone could have, Super Junior was one of the best boy groups in the world, and his life was just the way he wants it. But, he forgot one thing: no one’s born to be perfect.
Since no one is perfect, Lee Donghae was diagnose with Epilepsy, a common chronic condition consisting of unprovoked seizures. He experienced his first seizure during their Super Junior M’s promotions for Perfection. It was hard for him to accept the reality that he was diagnosed with Epilepsy; he was star, an idol, so why did he have to suffer with this illness? What did he do wrong? He always questioned about his life ever since then, and he was careful to take his medication without his members catching him, especially Eunhyuk.
Eunhyuk, the love of his life was his angel, his anchovy, his monkey, his other half, his partner, and his sun. Eunhyuk was the only star that could outshine the sun in his eyes. If anything could make him feel better, it was Eunhyuk. Of course they’ve had their ups and downs, their road was bumpy, but nothing could beat or destroy their love for one another. They tell each other everything, they promised one another to never have secrets, to always share what’s on their mind, to fight together till the end.
But, here he was, falling endlessly into desolation and silent depression. He refuses to tell Eunhyuk, he refuse to tell the love of his life, because he was afraid to know the other’s reaction. He was afraid to be alone, afraid to be a burden. This was only the start of his despair, for he, Lee Donghae, was beginning to keep secrets.
He wasn’t perfect anymore. He was no longer the perfect, Lee Donghae.
-
“Oh god, Hae, I’m coming!” Eunhyuk let out a long moan as he came hard, his seeds spurting to latch onto both of their bare stomachs. His hands gripped onto the bed sheets as his back arched up beautifully.
Donghae let out a muffled groan as he pounded one last time into Eunhyuk’s twitching hole before releasing himself inside his lover’s hot cavern. His hands caressed the blonde’s hips securely, almost teasingly, as he removed Eunhyuk’s legs from his shoulders to straddle his sides. He didn’t hesitate to lean down and kiss the worn out beauty below him, kissing the man affectionately and tenderly, as if there was no tomorrow.
No, ever since he found out about his condition, he never looked forward to tomorrow. He was disturbed, paranoid, and angry. The thought of having to keep a secret drove him to the edge, but he didn’t want to let Eunhyuk worry about him, let alone, his members. He loves them too much to let them worry. They shouldn’t suffer, he alone was enough.
“Hae, get off, you’re heavy,” Eunhyuk groaned from the other’s weight, wrapping his arms around Donghae’s neck, locking the brunette’s face so that it was close to his. He let out a teasing smile when Donghae didn’t budge, “you’re still inside of me, you can take it out now, Hae,” he stifled a sweet giggle.
Donghae’s soft eyes turned cold, Eunhyuk knew nothing, and he felt like he was betraying the love of his life, “Sorry, I want to feel you more,” he made up an excuse to hide the fact that he was thinking about his life lies. He leaned down to give Eunhyuk one last kiss before pulling out, not missing the small moan that escaped the beauty’s mouth.
Eunhyuk pouted at the loss of warmth inside of him, “Maybe you should’ve just let it stay inside of me.”
Donghae let out a chortle, “We’ve done enough for today, and you should rest. You have schedules tomorrow,” he rejected, pulling away from Eunhyuk’s arms as he flopped down to lay next to his lover who only continued to pout, “Sorry, love, I’m tired too,” he added in, trying to persuade his lover so that the latter would sleep.
Eunhyuk chuckled with disbelief, “Since when did my horny fish get tired after two rounds?”
Donghae remained quiet as he wrapped his arms around the blonde, leaning his head towards the other’s, taking in the monkey’s addicting scent: strawberries, a scent he promised to never forget.
Eunhyuk fell quiet when he noticed that Donghae wouldn’t answer him back and could only suspect that the younger one was already sleeping. He smiled nonetheless and snuggled into his lover’s broad chest, “I love you…” he mumbled before closing his eyes.
I love you too, Hyukkie. He silently replied, slowly cracking his eyes open to stare at the beauty whose face was buried in his chest. An aching smile twitched at his lips. How can he sleep? Even with Eunhyuk in his arms, he’s been having trouble with sleeping because of his condition. He was afraid to have a seizure attack, he was always afraid because he doesn’t want Eunhyuk to witness any of it. You don’t know how much I want to tell you…you don’t know how hard it is for me to keep this secret away from you, Hyukkie. Sometimes, I feel like dying…I’m so afraid to tell you, always wondering: am I a burden to you? “I’m sorry…” he quietly whispered, kissing the top of Eunhyuk’s forehead before slipping out from under the covers and walking to the bathroom located in their room, closing the door gently behind him with a quiet click.
Eunhyuk shifted his position, his eyes slowly opened. He wasn’t asleep.
His heart ached from Donghae’s apology, and it worried him to the depths of the earth. Why did it suddenly feel like something heavy just landed on his shoulders? He came to notice that every time after they made love, Donghae would always say that he’s tired and go to sleep. He never really minded it since he knew that they were both tired, but it has come to the point of it happening so constantly that he’s beginning to have some doubts. He would sometimes wonder if Donghae’s disgusted with him, if Donghae’s tired of him, or if Donghae always take a shower to wash away the evidence that they did it.
He couldn’t help but wonder, “Why did you say ‘sorry,’ Hae…?”
There was only one evident feeling he could understand: Donghae was slowly drifting away.
~
The next morning, Donghae woke up with an empty space next to him. He really didn’t sleep; he only closed his eyes to make it appear like he was sleeping. Even if he was holding onto Eunhyuk’s warm body, sleep wouldn’t come to him. He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes, only to groan afterwards, remembering that he had to take his pills, just like how he had to take them secretly in the bathroom last night. A smile danced its way across his face when he remembered Eunhyuk kissing him before leaving. Just thinking about the latter, lifted his spirit.
He stood up and went into the bathroom to wash up, after he finished, he walked to his dresser and put on a pair of casual clothes. Behind all the hanging clothes, in the farthest right corner of the dresser was a small box that contained all his medication. Reaching down, he opened the box and there were three unopened pill bottles, all prescribed for him. He sighed inwardly; he was starting to get tired of taking his medication in secrecy. It was starting to bug and annoy him. Twisting one of the caps open, he took out three pills and shoved the box back into its secret spot.
He made his way out of his room and was greeted with silence as he entered the hallway, making his way towards the kitchen. Leeteuk, Heechul, and Ryeowook all lived with him on the twelfth floor, while Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun, and Sungmin all lived on the eleventh floor. It’d be nice if he could live on the same floor as his monkey. When he reached the kitchen, he walked towards the fridge and took out a bottle of water.
He gazed down at the pills in his hand, thinking if he should eat them or not, thinking about all the things that could happen if he didn’t eat it. Shaking his head, he slipped the three pills into his mouth, scrunching his eyebrows in distaste as he quickly opened the water bottle and chugged down its contents.
“What did you take?”
Startled, Donghae choked on the extra water that was still in his mouth, luckily though, all the pills made its way down his throat. He quickly wiped away the water that dripped down his chin and turned to face the intruder, “What are you talking about?”
“What is it that you took? Those pills, I saw you stuff three into your mouth. What were they?”
Donghae could sense the other’s curiosity and suspicion, it made him feel nervous. Clearing his throat, he tried to bring up a different subject, “What are you doing here, Siwon? As far as I know, you don’t live in the dorms.”
Siwon felt a pang in his heart, it was new seeing Donghae act this way towards him, “What? So I can’t even visit my members?”
Donghae felt guilt rush to him; he didn’t mean it that way. Maybe he sounded a bit too harsh earlier. Clearing his throat once again, he decided to apologize, “Sorry, it’s not like that, I mean…”
“Just answer me, Donghae, what did you take?” Siwon repeated his question as he took a step near the brunette, “Don’t tell me you’re taking drugs? Or is it that Eunhyuk is not taking good care of you that you have to hide?”
He felt his blood boil upon hearing Siwon mention about his lover, “Eunhyuk takes the best care of me, so what are you trying to imply?” then it hit him, he remembered Siwon confessed his love to him not too long after he confessed to Eunhyuk. “We talked about this already, so please don’t tell me you’re here because you’re not happy about me being with Eunhyuk,” he warned, his brown orbs began glare at the other.
Siwon knitted his eyebrows; apparently, he was affected by what Donghae had just said. He was still in love with the other, and he was jealous of Eunhyuk and Donghae’s relationship. It pained him to know that the one Donghae loves is not him, but he already learned to accept their relationship, “I’m just here because I’m bored, I have no schedule, and we’re preparing for our 5jib, I just came by to hangout. Is that a bad thing?”
Donghae was lost for a second, his glare slowly turned soft as he understood that Siwon was only here to hang out, they can talk like the old times, “No, it’s not a bad thing. Sorry for saying what I said earlier.”
Siwon waved him off, not wanting to hear any of Donghae’s excuses, “You still haven’t answered me.”
The brunette stared at his friend, lost on what to say, “Pain killers.”
“What?” Siwon was flabbergasted.
Donghae’s right hand slowly rubbed the back of his neck, an awkward smile plastered on his face, “Pain killers,” he repeated himself. It was the first thing that came to his mind.
Siwon eyed Donghae was disbelief, as if he didn’t believe it, but bought the idea nonetheless, “Okay…so why were you taking pain killers?”
“Pain killers are pain killers, Siwon! Now stop asking me useless questions!”
“Don’t tell me that you…ya know?” the taller boy’s eyebrows wiggled up and down.
Donghae mentally smacked his forehead, “I would NEVER, so get your head out of the gutter, Bible boy!”
[ Next Part]