The obligatory mid-rotation surgical clerkship post
I'm actually pretty lucky on this clerkship so far. My residents are completely laid back and one of them likes to teach. Actually, one of them is completely burnt out and whiny (he's Asian :P) but we medical students are not allowed to whine and expected to be enthusiastic about everything, so all I can do is nod in commiseration with a sympathetic smile.
The problem is me. I'm so sleepy during rounds that I keep saying dumb stuff. I can't tell one patient from another cuz their injuries are all so similar (I'm on trauma surgery). All my patients are freaking dying ICU patients, and we haven't learned that sh*t very well. I'm so uncoordinated that I'm afraid the attending will get pissed at my clumsiness in the OR. I just don't feel very confident and my R3 laughs at my stupid comments or mistakes - she does it in a nice way so I only feel a little badly each time... it's just that it's occurring every day so I feel like Super Idiot...
But seriously, only Super Hardcore people can work 12-15 hour days 6 days a week, operate on severely unstable patients at sudden intervals, have diabetes themselves requiring insulin pumps, and still be smiling and be on top of all the patient's sh*t at 5:30 in the morning. I'm impressed and depressed. I just feel too dumb for this field and it must be only God's grace has gotten me this far (with only nice residents to date).
I told my interns that for the past few weeks, when I start eating, I get brief vertigo. They're befuddled. I'm just not physically cut out for this kind of job, dood. I'm definitely not all mentally or emotionally with it, either.
The problem is me. I'm so sleepy during rounds that I keep saying dumb stuff. I can't tell one patient from another cuz their injuries are all so similar (I'm on trauma surgery). All my patients are freaking dying ICU patients, and we haven't learned that sh*t very well. I'm so uncoordinated that I'm afraid the attending will get pissed at my clumsiness in the OR. I just don't feel very confident and my R3 laughs at my stupid comments or mistakes - she does it in a nice way so I only feel a little badly each time... it's just that it's occurring every day so I feel like Super Idiot...
But seriously, only Super Hardcore people can work 12-15 hour days 6 days a week, operate on severely unstable patients at sudden intervals, have diabetes themselves requiring insulin pumps, and still be smiling and be on top of all the patient's sh*t at 5:30 in the morning. I'm impressed and depressed. I just feel too dumb for this field and it must be only God's grace has gotten me this far (with only nice residents to date).
I told my interns that for the past few weeks, when I start eating, I get brief vertigo. They're befuddled. I'm just not physically cut out for this kind of job, dood. I'm definitely not all mentally or emotionally with it, either.