wow, long time no see!
well i'm udating basically bc i need to vent. and no one is there right now. bc everyone is gone. idk what to think of myself anymore. my family life, is screwed up. and my best friend is mad at me, bc i was upset and i tried to tell her, and well evidently when i am upset i am the bitchest girl alive..pardon my french. all i wanted to do was tell her that i was upset and well now i don't know if she will talk to me again. :( and then there is Christa Hayes who is my absolute best friend, who doesn't talk to me anymore. and that makes me sad even though its basically all my fault. and idk all i feel i do when i call her now is vent about my problems. and its not fair to her whatsoever. i haven't laughed in a long time with her when most of the time that was an everyday occurance. and lets see guy life....well non exsistant right now, but i'm totally confused on my emotions. like i think i sorta like one of my guy friends, but i can't tell just bc its like all the sudden with in the past two months we have become really close. and i cant tell if i like him or i am just overwhellmed with how good of a friend he has become....idk. like i have all those ya know fuzzy feelings, but then i got those with like ppl i know who are my best guy friends. like its like i'm just happy to be with them. idk. grr. and then there is one other one of my girls, well she gets hurt very easily by stuff, that most of the time doesn't make sense to me. but anyways, i'm afraid if this guy works out she is gonna get hurt..bc i have seen her everyday this summer. and so i'm like wow. i am gonna screw up again..i can just smell the doom. ksdjflka;sjfkl bah. not to mention my quiet times, just aren't working out, i can't seem to focus on God at all. and idk i feel like not connected to him. i mean i know in my heart i am. its just idk, maybe its bc i'm down and i feel everytime i'm down i go back to him, and when i'm happy i just kinda forget...well not totally but ya know. ahh i'm so like emotional. i have to go. see ya for whoever still reads these things