Arthur's love letter to Alfred
Is it just me, or does this letter feels like it's channelling Arthur?
Dear USA,
After over 200 years of letting you run your own country we have decided that you are terrible at it. We are therefore reclaiming the USA with immediate effect. From midnight tonight the Queen is your official head of state.
Here are a few tips to help you through the transition.
1. When spelling words please ensure you use all the letters. We are aware it is important for you to look very busy but missing the o from oestrogen for example, will not save you any time. We will provide free English language courses for everyone.
2.There is no such thing as American English - we will let Microsoft and Apple know on your behalf.
3. When attempting to speak English please ensure you learn the correct pronunciation. Aluminium is a silvery metal, (Aluminum) is not.
4. You will no longer be allowed to make cars. American cars are big, slow and crap. You will instead have to buy European cars as they at least have style.
5. You will no longer be allowed to play American Football. Running around wearing full body armour and stopping every 10 seconds is not cool. You will instead have to learn to play Football. It is a complicated game so initially you will only be allowed to play with the girls. In time if you may be allowed to join the boys.
6. You will no longer be allowed to export disgusting fast food, crappy films and shows. We have had quite enough of the McDonalds 18 000 calorie breakfast!
Yours Sincerely,
Great Britain
Thisletterishetalia
Dear USA,
After over 200 years of letting you run your own country we have decided that you are terrible at it. We are therefore reclaiming the USA with immediate effect. From midnight tonight the Queen is your official head of state.
Here are a few tips to help you through the transition.
1. When spelling words please ensure you use all the letters. We are aware it is important for you to look very busy but missing the o from oestrogen for example, will not save you any time. We will provide free English language courses for everyone.
2.There is no such thing as American English - we will let Microsoft and Apple know on your behalf.
3. When attempting to speak English please ensure you learn the correct pronunciation. Aluminium is a silvery metal, (Aluminum) is not.
4. You will no longer be allowed to make cars. American cars are big, slow and crap. You will instead have to buy European cars as they at least have style.
5. You will no longer be allowed to play American Football. Running around wearing full body armour and stopping every 10 seconds is not cool. You will instead have to learn to play Football. It is a complicated game so initially you will only be allowed to play with the girls. In time if you may be allowed to join the boys.
6. You will no longer be allowed to export disgusting fast food, crappy films and shows. We have had quite enough of the McDonalds 18 000 calorie breakfast!
Yours Sincerely,
Great Britain
Thisletterishetalia