new theory on happiness. (why i do... what i do)
who ever thought that one can't learn a thing from children is horribly mistaken... whoever thought that... let's call him adam...is horribly mistaken.
stupid adam
if you think about it, it's kind of cool, your unborn children are already directing your actions before you are physically aware of it. (thats this sort of life thing thats breaking down the barriers) that sounds strange, i know, but...
there is so much that goes on behind the scenes... subconscious, your body functions without you thinking about every action it makes, your brain and hormones work together and create this wonderfully magic attractions to other human beings. and, from there, you are destined to create life.
that's why i have been so upset latley. the purpose of life is to give life... well... when one looks at it in simple terms.
and
latley, in the people i know and the relationships they are in (with one another, sister to mother, dog to brother, grandpa to mailmans dentists friend...) i have seen nothing but apathy.
i am getting ahead of myself... let me try again.
that longing, that calling from your children, unborn and such, is this wonderful thing that is written into us and into the world around us.
there is so much in a first kiss. subconsciously there are so many things happening... love is being formed, and...eventually, (if this kiss turns into more and more and more and more kisses) this first kiss sparks life, and life springs forth from these two individuals like their parents before them. love and sexuality and caring all work towards a similar goal, to provide the world with life, to give the human race another pair of eyes to view the world in a new perspective.
this is why i do what i do, act the way i act.
i see helping other people as, a first kiss
so, i've been seeing all this apathy latley, everyone pushing each other out of the way to escape the avalanch of what will happen. just like an unruly mob, people are being stepped on. and i really don't like it.
i've seen all this apathy, everywhere, and i have always told myself "i am different, i am not the same as all of you" and i know that i am not the same, thats the little spark of glowing-child-like-ness that guides my actions.
or at least, attempts to guide my actions... with this desease of people being indifferent to each other, it's hard not to catch cold. and i think i have got the bug. apathy has been rubbing off on my in all sorts of ways. and it's not fun. not experiencing that much caring and not seeing it that much makes me not that much of a caring person anymore. you see...
if someone were to make your life wonderful, to just call you to see how you were doing, if they were to do miraculous things for you just because, you'd feel very special, and want to give something back... well, imagine if EVERYONE had that outlook!? this would be A FUCKING AMAZING WORLD!
sorry if that little bright spark has changed, latley, ive been fighting selfishness with selflessness, apathy with caring and hatred with love... it's a hard job... and believe it or not. i am very selfish, very very selfish(as in i need to do things for other people) but latley it hasnt been the selfishness that helps, its all been about me. and i hate that. i've had a personal mini revolution. i am going to start being selfish again, i am going to start HELPING PEOPLE as much as i can... because, it makes me feel good about myself... and ...thats all that really matters, isn't it?
(oh yeah, and ps, about the whole intimacy thing, it made sense 20 minutes ago, but i lost it in all these words...so basically, i was just fascinated about how life works, and reproduces and all, and how you can get the same satisfaction from helping someone or caring about someone that you can from a first kiss... maybe ill write more later. . . . . . . . . . )
stupid adam
if you think about it, it's kind of cool, your unborn children are already directing your actions before you are physically aware of it. (thats this sort of life thing thats breaking down the barriers) that sounds strange, i know, but...
there is so much that goes on behind the scenes... subconscious, your body functions without you thinking about every action it makes, your brain and hormones work together and create this wonderfully magic attractions to other human beings. and, from there, you are destined to create life.
that's why i have been so upset latley. the purpose of life is to give life... well... when one looks at it in simple terms.
and
latley, in the people i know and the relationships they are in (with one another, sister to mother, dog to brother, grandpa to mailmans dentists friend...) i have seen nothing but apathy.
i am getting ahead of myself... let me try again.
that longing, that calling from your children, unborn and such, is this wonderful thing that is written into us and into the world around us.
there is so much in a first kiss. subconsciously there are so many things happening... love is being formed, and...eventually, (if this kiss turns into more and more and more and more kisses) this first kiss sparks life, and life springs forth from these two individuals like their parents before them. love and sexuality and caring all work towards a similar goal, to provide the world with life, to give the human race another pair of eyes to view the world in a new perspective.
this is why i do what i do, act the way i act.
i see helping other people as, a first kiss
so, i've been seeing all this apathy latley, everyone pushing each other out of the way to escape the avalanch of what will happen. just like an unruly mob, people are being stepped on. and i really don't like it.
i've seen all this apathy, everywhere, and i have always told myself "i am different, i am not the same as all of you" and i know that i am not the same, thats the little spark of glowing-child-like-ness that guides my actions.
or at least, attempts to guide my actions... with this desease of people being indifferent to each other, it's hard not to catch cold. and i think i have got the bug. apathy has been rubbing off on my in all sorts of ways. and it's not fun. not experiencing that much caring and not seeing it that much makes me not that much of a caring person anymore. you see...
if someone were to make your life wonderful, to just call you to see how you were doing, if they were to do miraculous things for you just because, you'd feel very special, and want to give something back... well, imagine if EVERYONE had that outlook!? this would be A FUCKING AMAZING WORLD!
sorry if that little bright spark has changed, latley, ive been fighting selfishness with selflessness, apathy with caring and hatred with love... it's a hard job... and believe it or not. i am very selfish, very very selfish(as in i need to do things for other people) but latley it hasnt been the selfishness that helps, its all been about me. and i hate that. i've had a personal mini revolution. i am going to start being selfish again, i am going to start HELPING PEOPLE as much as i can... because, it makes me feel good about myself... and ...thats all that really matters, isn't it?
(oh yeah, and ps, about the whole intimacy thing, it made sense 20 minutes ago, but i lost it in all these words...so basically, i was just fascinated about how life works, and reproduces and all, and how you can get the same satisfaction from helping someone or caring about someone that you can from a first kiss... maybe ill write more later. . . . . . . . . . )