I'm going to Virginia for my Uncle's Memorial: the Story
I woke up feeling ill…
I’m sure because my immune system has been depressed with my own sadness about my uncle’s death. Not to mention that my monthly visitor also decided to grace me with it’s presence. I could barely think at all this morning, staring at my screen and unable to think of my own passwords I have used everyday. Some parts of the day the hallway would sway. Other times I couldn’t do anything but hold my own head. All day I was holding my breath until mom called to tell me when the memorial service was going to be.
She called just at the beginning of class. I had told my teacher I was waiting for the call. I left and mom told me that the memorial service will be on Monday. I was still holding it together. Then she informed me that my uncle was/is cremated. His organs were donated, so in his death, lives were saved. I still held. Then she told me that he put into his will half his ashes were to be put to sea, and the other half to be spread across the mountains of Colorado.
I burst into tears.
I knew exactly where he wanted to be spread. Uncle George LOVED Buena Vista… I even have the picture he gave me of the place he loved. The aspens there are gorgeous. I have to go. I have to bring back his ashes and spread them over the place, the valley, he loved. It was where he was happiest in this life.
I am going back to see Denver, a cousin who doesn’t even know me. To be his new family. To meet the Aunt I have never known, Kim. To bring back his ashes, and place the rest where half of him longed to be.
All in a split second these thoughts and the release of being held in all day came upon me all at once. I had to hang up with mom… I went back into my class to get my stuff and lost it. I bawled like a baby in front of my whole class. I packed up as soon as I could… I apologized, and left…
I called Sunny and she helped me make it to the light rail…
I ran for the train… got in and said just enough that the two women there knew my uncle died. I had to hang up. I began to cry again. The two women who sat beside and across from me were so kind. The lady beside me put her had on my back and comforted me. The lady across from me gave me tissues. They told me it was ok to cry and were so very compassionate. They said I was beautiful inside and out. I don’t understand how I could be there, such a mess and they thought that. I believe we can only see what is also inside of us.
The woman beside me got off at Broadway and I thanked her for her kindness.
The other woman stayed on all the way to Nine Mile.
I told her the whole thing. Somehow my story had put some things into perspective for her. She happened to be 54 and turning 55 soon. The same age as my uncle.
Syncronicity.
Out of my pain, purpose and direction, for another. I don’t know how my life is as amazing as it is, but my gratitude grows from it, every day.
I’m sure because my immune system has been depressed with my own sadness about my uncle’s death. Not to mention that my monthly visitor also decided to grace me with it’s presence. I could barely think at all this morning, staring at my screen and unable to think of my own passwords I have used everyday. Some parts of the day the hallway would sway. Other times I couldn’t do anything but hold my own head. All day I was holding my breath until mom called to tell me when the memorial service was going to be.
She called just at the beginning of class. I had told my teacher I was waiting for the call. I left and mom told me that the memorial service will be on Monday. I was still holding it together. Then she informed me that my uncle was/is cremated. His organs were donated, so in his death, lives were saved. I still held. Then she told me that he put into his will half his ashes were to be put to sea, and the other half to be spread across the mountains of Colorado.
I burst into tears.
I knew exactly where he wanted to be spread. Uncle George LOVED Buena Vista… I even have the picture he gave me of the place he loved. The aspens there are gorgeous. I have to go. I have to bring back his ashes and spread them over the place, the valley, he loved. It was where he was happiest in this life.
I am going back to see Denver, a cousin who doesn’t even know me. To be his new family. To meet the Aunt I have never known, Kim. To bring back his ashes, and place the rest where half of him longed to be.
All in a split second these thoughts and the release of being held in all day came upon me all at once. I had to hang up with mom… I went back into my class to get my stuff and lost it. I bawled like a baby in front of my whole class. I packed up as soon as I could… I apologized, and left…
I called Sunny and she helped me make it to the light rail…
I ran for the train… got in and said just enough that the two women there knew my uncle died. I had to hang up. I began to cry again. The two women who sat beside and across from me were so kind. The lady beside me put her had on my back and comforted me. The lady across from me gave me tissues. They told me it was ok to cry and were so very compassionate. They said I was beautiful inside and out. I don’t understand how I could be there, such a mess and they thought that. I believe we can only see what is also inside of us.
The woman beside me got off at Broadway and I thanked her for her kindness.
The other woman stayed on all the way to Nine Mile.
I told her the whole thing. Somehow my story had put some things into perspective for her. She happened to be 54 and turning 55 soon. The same age as my uncle.
Syncronicity.
Out of my pain, purpose and direction, for another. I don’t know how my life is as amazing as it is, but my gratitude grows from it, every day.