3 AM and I still cant sleep.
grrr, why cant i fall asleep?
Possibly bc i'm soo freaking hungry. I thought the previous nights were bc i was so hot but apparently the air is working now bc when i went into my bathroom to weigh myself it was COLD.
My scale was acting crazy. I got 3 diff numbers in the past 5 minutes. So it's completely unreliable right now-even though i have 2 scales in my bathroom [like i said, i have an obsession]. But one is digital and the other isnt and i prefer the digital. Then i know exactly what i am... usually doesnt vary too much when i weigh myself in 5 minutes.
But tonight is different.
Hopefully the morning will be good. Day 3. Already made it 2 days.. i havent done this in SOO long.
I had cut out all fast food since last December, so i havent had any of that since then. And i'm majorly craving it. But the longer i go without something, the easier it is.
Funny thing is, i only took off about 10 lbs give and take [depends on the day]. And i used to be obsessive with my fast food.
I'd go to like 3, 4 different fast food places about 2 or 3 times EACH, every day. That's a LOT.
I have spent so much money on food over this past year. Money i could have used for cute clothes.
Whatever though. That is in my past. I just want this over with [again] and then i will move on.
I will actually be able to see my friends.
And to get a boyfriend.
And have boys carry me.
Which reminds me, recently i had this guy try to pick me up. I mean OMG, dont do that. This was when i weighed aprox 163 lbs. How embarrassing! He struggled too. His fault. i didnt ask him to try. I didnt want him to.
Whatever though, it's not a guy i like so i dont care if he thinks i was heavy-funny thing, he still liked me! ha! some guys are so desperate, are they not??
Maybe it's shallow, but i dont want a guy that doesnt care about looks. Bc then that means he doesnt have very high standards.
I like to see the exgfs of my bfs to see what they're capable of.
If a guy has ugly exgfs, somethings not right. It makes u wonder...why is he with you.
My friend had dated this guy and she was always like "he has the UGLIEST, FATTEST exgf and i'm not just saying that bc he's mine now, she really is fat and ugly" so i'm just sitting there thinking.. um well apparently he doesnt have high standards..so where does that put you?
Okay i think that's enough ranting right now.. I just have a lot to say bc yeah, i have no one to talk to bc i've lost my friends due to the fact that i'm fat and isolate myself. Also i'm hungry, cant sleep and moody.
xoxoxo