i am fat.
My gosh, i'm embarrassed and completely morbidly HUGE. I've gained back so much weight over the past 2, 3 days. SO much. I'm almost my HIGHEST weight ever.
Well ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but not much.
I cant believe how bad i suck.
So yesterday, i tried on these pants [size 16] thinking..ha these should be huge bc i was around 165 or so yesterday. So i try them on, guess what? they fit. WHAT THE HELL? i mean, ok so they were a lil loose. Looser around my legs than my huge belly... But still they fit well enough to wear out. Which is embarrassing. I'm never wearing a freaking size 16 in public.
That's why i've resorted to sweat pants and only sweat pants [sad i know] 1-bc i refuse to buy new clothes with anything greater than a size, i dunno..4? and 2-bc all my freaking pants are a size 0, which of course do not fit. So i've squeezed into L sweat pants.
My roommate said to me one day after she moved in "We need to go buy you some new clothes" bc i wear the same freaking thing all the time bc my clothes dont fit anymore and i refuse to give in. So i was like.... "come here" and i took her to my closet and showed her my shitload of clothes that are like new bc they havent been worn in about a year. She was like....wow you do have a lot of clothes.
Why of course, bc when you're a size 0 everything looks good on you and it's fun buying clothes.
When you're a size L, XXXXXXXL it's not.
I would say tomorrow i wanna start over...but fuck i have a test that i'm screwed on and have to study therefore no time to work out.
Anyways, i hate starting on "fat" days, meaning when i'm at a higher weight bc then i work out all day and lose meaningless pounds that shouldnt have been there to begin with. I dunno, my mind is weird.