lonely
ok i realize this is like the 3rd post in the past hr... but i've just been reminiscing and i'm so lonely. I realize this is my fault..but even before this happenned, i dont know why i didnt have people that cared. Like facebook or myspace... i dont have many friends on there, and that's ok. But like on my birthday it's sad bc i only get about 1 or 2 bday wishes. Everyone else gets like 100 million. It's really quite sad and i dont understand. I'm not that unlikable. I realize if i didnt exclude and isolate myself so much i would have more bday wishes but what brought this on is my bday is coming up and i'm worried. Scared about the whole thing... it's stupid i know, but it's really depressing. I've thought about deleting my accounts [just during my bday] but then i'd have to start all over and it's too much work. Plus i like keeping somewhat in contact with ppl from 10 years ago. Ha, in contact... yeh, okay. I never talk to these people, but i like to see what they're up to.
I dunno, after i get back to my NORMAL weight i was gonna post hot pictures and find all the ppl from my previous classes. But still, that wouldnt mean i'd get bday wishes =[ what can i do about that?
And not to mention, i've wanted a party but ha! that's a joke. Who would i invite? who would actually come?! But it's my 21st. That's a big one. Though i do not drink, nor do i intend to, i'd still like to do something major...bc it is my 21st and i havent had a "party" or celebrated the occassion since i was 13 years old.
Does anyone have any ideas?
I dunno, after i get back to my NORMAL weight i was gonna post hot pictures and find all the ppl from my previous classes. But still, that wouldnt mean i'd get bday wishes =[ what can i do about that?
And not to mention, i've wanted a party but ha! that's a joke. Who would i invite? who would actually come?! But it's my 21st. That's a big one. Though i do not drink, nor do i intend to, i'd still like to do something major...bc it is my 21st and i havent had a "party" or celebrated the occassion since i was 13 years old.
Does anyone have any ideas?