(no subject)
Rainy rainy day. Good sleeping weather. Everyone all day was talking about blankets and heaters. Man, if only this was as cold as it will get.
Yesterday morning at 4:45am I got stuck between a wall and a condiment bar. Painful. They re-did our floors at work and so everything on the floor had to be moved into the back room; I got the undesirable job of moving it all back onto the floor before 5am. Additionally I got to have a co-worker accusing me of not putting things back right, which I cetainly didn't care too much for correctness so early in the morning. We got in a fight; I swore, she swore, then she re-fused to talk to me. Some mornings I open and I am totally calm, nothing can set me off even if there are potentially stressful things, othertimes-- like yesterday-- I will be set off by basically nothing. I look back on the fight with her and see it clearly as a power struggle and hate to think of myself as being involved. Yet, I was, and I am in charge of how I react to things. Yet, sometimes I feel that my reactions are out of my control.
My mom used to tell me that we can always chose our reaction and decide whether or not to get angry. She would tell me that it is harder to be angry, that ittakes more effort to continue your angry disposition through stubborness. Yet, I am stubborn and I don't know how to let things go sometimes.
Gnerally I feel like the stress level has risen around me. Not sure why, but I feel it buzzing overhead waiting for me to give in with another deep breath and a rising heart rate. This is especially evident cause I have begun getting pretty dizzy when I get stressed or pissed, or even when I think something is funny. I am going to go to the doctor soon; I may have a blood sugar issue.
On another note at the bar that Becky and I went to last night in an effort to take a long walk and have one beer, there was a painting of Luke Wilson from Royal T's with his headband and the bird in his hands. Man, that cheered us right up. Also the bar was called Green Eyes so we sang Cold Play as we walked home along Milwaukee Avenue, lined with random and strange retail shops that have no theme.
Whatever. I am going to see Beck Saturday. I will let you know. Not sure about the new album yet- does anyone have it?
Yesterday morning at 4:45am I got stuck between a wall and a condiment bar. Painful. They re-did our floors at work and so everything on the floor had to be moved into the back room; I got the undesirable job of moving it all back onto the floor before 5am. Additionally I got to have a co-worker accusing me of not putting things back right, which I cetainly didn't care too much for correctness so early in the morning. We got in a fight; I swore, she swore, then she re-fused to talk to me. Some mornings I open and I am totally calm, nothing can set me off even if there are potentially stressful things, othertimes-- like yesterday-- I will be set off by basically nothing. I look back on the fight with her and see it clearly as a power struggle and hate to think of myself as being involved. Yet, I was, and I am in charge of how I react to things. Yet, sometimes I feel that my reactions are out of my control.
My mom used to tell me that we can always chose our reaction and decide whether or not to get angry. She would tell me that it is harder to be angry, that ittakes more effort to continue your angry disposition through stubborness. Yet, I am stubborn and I don't know how to let things go sometimes.
Gnerally I feel like the stress level has risen around me. Not sure why, but I feel it buzzing overhead waiting for me to give in with another deep breath and a rising heart rate. This is especially evident cause I have begun getting pretty dizzy when I get stressed or pissed, or even when I think something is funny. I am going to go to the doctor soon; I may have a blood sugar issue.
On another note at the bar that Becky and I went to last night in an effort to take a long walk and have one beer, there was a painting of Luke Wilson from Royal T's with his headband and the bird in his hands. Man, that cheered us right up. Also the bar was called Green Eyes so we sang Cold Play as we walked home along Milwaukee Avenue, lined with random and strange retail shops that have no theme.
Whatever. I am going to see Beck Saturday. I will let you know. Not sure about the new album yet- does anyone have it?