way confused
Lately I feel empty inside..I feel as if I have nothing to offer anymore...Maybe it's time that I take on a new path...try something new...Maybe everything that' I've wanted, isn't for me? I have good grades, I got my chance in being a Muisc Minister(Almost) But I feel as if I need something more. I just wish I had someone to turn to when I'm feeling down...I know I have great friends who love me and care about me but somtimes that isn't enough. I'm not gonna come out and say it becasue I don't want to sound desperate or anything and I know I'm not...but I feel alone sometimes. I have been crying alot lately and I don't know why or understand why I am....especially at night when I'm all alone in my room. I'll play my piano for hours and just start to cry...and I wasn't meaning too..It just comes out...I can't help it. I feel like something is missing from my life...and God's gonna do something but I'm not sure what it is...I don't want to feel this way anymore.....It's kinda like that song from mercy me. So Long Self...Awesome song.....it talks about getting rid of the person who you used to be and letting God take control of your life. Maybe that's what I need to do. I always think about what I want, what's going to make me happy and how everything is going to work out for me and what benefits can I be receiving. I always look at everyone else and think how lucky that person is and wish I had what they had but in reality. I do have everything, but still something feels like it's missing. I don't know why. Hopefully, I'll find it out soon. Hopefully, I really want to find out what is going to happen. I feel like God wants me to go out and do more. I always feel like he's nudging me...telling me go and do this and I never do. I chicken out...and get scared becasue no one is with me doing it...like a friend....I know God is there but I feel alone....I shouldn't feel alone..I don't want too but I do... .Honestly, I ran out of things along time ago to say....sometimes I feel like quitting church and being a Christian all together....and I know that's exactly what Satan want's. Is for me to give in...and never reach other people...and sometimes I feel like giving in...I don't know what to do anymroe...God plz help me...I'm crying out in desperation for your advice....I want to overcome my fears of being alone....losing everythign that I've worked for...I can't do it alone...in this race for the prize...I want it...and I need help