(no subject)
I have had the best weekend that I have had in a while. Just to be able to feel love, to understand it. I was finally able to connect, we were together. I love Cory. All that crap in November hurt us, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? I"m just scared, I dunno if it is all in my head or not. I dunno wether Cory was just saying things to make me happy, or because he meant them. If distance makes the heart grow fonder then thank you Noah! Just to be in the place forever, it would be wonderful. I think I understand love now, rather I know all I need to. I just wish I could have more, to be with Cory longer. If I didn't have to work, or have so much school work, or wasn't as active in other stuff....I said that before too, and I dropped everything for him. So I've learned from my mistakes, and everything should work now right? I hope no one actually reads this.
I wish I could not care about school, let myself drop down levels, I could get better grades. I should stop blame my grades on Noah. I should just focus more, or focus in general instead of worrying about everything else under the sun. I have so much I should do, but what do I need to do. I wish I could just have some meloncollie life, there are too many downs and ups, more downs than ups. This desire to be "normal" is eating me.
What to get Cory for valentines day..... I hope I am not still sick. Any ideas self? Well he doesn't want to do anything, nor does he seem to want anything. I could get him something but I don't want him to feel like he didn't get me enough, he always feels like that, I always out do him it seems. I think we should go on a picnic, or go out to eat. I wish I didn't have to work. Skin to skin with someone you love would be a wonderful way to spend the day. I think I'll settle on movies.....
I wish I could not care about school, let myself drop down levels, I could get better grades. I should stop blame my grades on Noah. I should just focus more, or focus in general instead of worrying about everything else under the sun. I have so much I should do, but what do I need to do. I wish I could just have some meloncollie life, there are too many downs and ups, more downs than ups. This desire to be "normal" is eating me.
What to get Cory for valentines day..... I hope I am not still sick. Any ideas self? Well he doesn't want to do anything, nor does he seem to want anything. I could get him something but I don't want him to feel like he didn't get me enough, he always feels like that, I always out do him it seems. I think we should go on a picnic, or go out to eat. I wish I didn't have to work. Skin to skin with someone you love would be a wonderful way to spend the day. I think I'll settle on movies.....