I couldn't even identify the liquor section's taxidermied mascot.
Heidi and I drove through Montana’s smoky haze to check out White Sulphur Springs. It’s a little sneeze of a town that you can drive through in 30 seconds. Each time we walked down the main strip, an old man grumbled, “Sure hope someone buys one of my walking sticks.” The houses sometimes appeared to be ruins or just thoroughly haunted. There was a dusty SUV with a sign proclaiming it the school bus. The shoe store had a liquor section and taxidermied animals. But they have a castle (or they say they do, but it’s a house with a stone exterior). Our tour guide also claimed to have proof of Bigfoot in a display case, but it’s just a furry glove. This stone house is built on lies.
I was charmed by their old-timey phone, with a vague memory of seeing one on an episode of Lassie. But that sent me off on a spiral, because WHY have I seen episodes of Lassie? That show was from the fifties and I am not! Okay, I just Googled it and now I know why I’ve seen it. It had 19 seasons, with nine different collies and presumably just as many interchangeable boys needing rescue from wells. Try steering clear of wells, Jimmy.
Heidi and I made sure to hit up Jesse Pepper’s Smoke Shack for their BBQ sandwiches and homemade cakes. I finally tried sarsaparilla and I want my $6 back, because that is just cowboy root beer and I hate it.
We saw tents in a parking lot and went to explore. It seemed to be a Rip Van Winkle farmers market, with a third of the vendors asleep in their tents. We were curious about what might be for sale at Memaw’s Confections, but Memaw was passed out cold behind her buffalo almonds. In the next tent, a woman slept in a rocking chair. I’m not even sure she was selling anything. A bearded man in full leather who was actually awake tried to lure us into a silent auction, but it looked like homemade beer koozies were the only prize, so no thank you. I ventured into the bar that was hosting the event and backed right out for fear of time freezing with me stuck inside that place of desolation and Bud Light. Leaving everyone to their parking lot naps, Heidi and I fled back to civilization, after getting more cake and once again not buying walking sticks.
I was charmed by their old-timey phone, with a vague memory of seeing one on an episode of Lassie. But that sent me off on a spiral, because WHY have I seen episodes of Lassie? That show was from the fifties and I am not! Okay, I just Googled it and now I know why I’ve seen it. It had 19 seasons, with nine different collies and presumably just as many interchangeable boys needing rescue from wells. Try steering clear of wells, Jimmy.
Heidi and I made sure to hit up Jesse Pepper’s Smoke Shack for their BBQ sandwiches and homemade cakes. I finally tried sarsaparilla and I want my $6 back, because that is just cowboy root beer and I hate it.
We saw tents in a parking lot and went to explore. It seemed to be a Rip Van Winkle farmers market, with a third of the vendors asleep in their tents. We were curious about what might be for sale at Memaw’s Confections, but Memaw was passed out cold behind her buffalo almonds. In the next tent, a woman slept in a rocking chair. I’m not even sure she was selling anything. A bearded man in full leather who was actually awake tried to lure us into a silent auction, but it looked like homemade beer koozies were the only prize, so no thank you. I ventured into the bar that was hosting the event and backed right out for fear of time freezing with me stuck inside that place of desolation and Bud Light. Leaving everyone to their parking lot naps, Heidi and I fled back to civilization, after getting more cake and once again not buying walking sticks.