(no subject)
So yeasterday was thanksgiving. :) I love thanksgiving, unlike it seams, most of the people here. I love holidays in general. Its a time to spend with family and friends, and eat good food, and lounge around, and have fun. And be happy and stuff. All my favoritest things. (thats cause one of those foods is, yes Chocolate pie). So again I organized the big thanksgiving fiasco here at Hyde,though this year it didnt seam to bring nearly as many smiles as it usually does. Not even hitting Dr. Tim with a pie worked. Maybe if ya all had hit me with pies? But then I would have ruined the lovely thanksgiving-y outfit.
So thanksgiving makes me think of all the things I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my mom and dad, for my sister, for my friends who keep me sane, for this job that drives me insain, for best friends and for pudding. For adventures and pudding fights. For walks in the night, and for snow angels. For first kisses and good bye hugs, for laughter and for tears. For rainbows and sunshine, for snow and fall. For coffee and hot chocolate, for marshmallows and playing chubby bunny and fitting 20 marshmallows in your mouth. For romantic movies that make you cry, and for scary movies that make you cling to the person nearest to you. For first dates and for weddings, for pretty dresses and scummy clothes. And wow thats a pretty eclectic list. I should stop though. I have two memories to make up for.
1. It was thanksgiving. I'd known Jake for about 3 months then. I had helped serve dinner and then was getting ready to eat myself, and was looking for a place to sit. Jake had saved me a seat, and he shouted my name across the cafeteria. He smiled as I sat down and spent the rest of the time I was eating whispering all the newest Hyde gossip in my ear. By the time I was finished there was hardly anyone else left in the cafeteria and all I had left to eat was my chocolate pie. He took some of it on his finger and like pushed it all over my face, so I had chocolate all over my face. So of course I got back at him, shoving almost all the pie in his face. He was shocked and it looked so funny. Of course it didnt end there, and eventually my pie was half over both of us, but some of it I did get to eat.
2.It was december or January. He had snuck out after hours again, and we had met by the lake. He had snuck up behind me, grabbing my waist and I screamed, he laughed, thats how I knew it was him. We spent the time until the first bed check just walking around and talking. I loved those moments,the thrill of feeling like I was breaking the rules, and the fact that I was happy cause I could be with him.
I'm also thankful for Jakey. I told daniel if I had to do it all over again, I wouldnt take it back. Cause even though it hurts so bad to loose him, to find him, to know hes gone, to wonder why, we were happy once too. I'm trying to get Benji to realize that. You cant keep clinging to the bad, to the pain, ou have to remember the happiness, the joy, the smiles. They make up for the tears. But then I think, its been almost 6 years, and how past it am I really? I still cry, I still freak, I still have nightmares where I wake up screaming, I still cant open the letter he wrote me. 6 years and it all still happens. But I can write these things with a smile. These happy memories and laugh at him. Laugh at him and be happy for the time I got to spend with him. The things we did and the moment we share. Even though it hurts to remember, cause it reminds of the pain, I doubt hed want me unhappy. Though he left me he wouldnt want me unhappy. Plus who would I be if he hadnt died. Would I be here? Would I be back here now? Would I be a doctor now? Would I be the person I am now? I can't honestly say yes.
Mandy
So thanksgiving makes me think of all the things I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my mom and dad, for my sister, for my friends who keep me sane, for this job that drives me insain, for best friends and for pudding. For adventures and pudding fights. For walks in the night, and for snow angels. For first kisses and good bye hugs, for laughter and for tears. For rainbows and sunshine, for snow and fall. For coffee and hot chocolate, for marshmallows and playing chubby bunny and fitting 20 marshmallows in your mouth. For romantic movies that make you cry, and for scary movies that make you cling to the person nearest to you. For first dates and for weddings, for pretty dresses and scummy clothes. And wow thats a pretty eclectic list. I should stop though. I have two memories to make up for.
1. It was thanksgiving. I'd known Jake for about 3 months then. I had helped serve dinner and then was getting ready to eat myself, and was looking for a place to sit. Jake had saved me a seat, and he shouted my name across the cafeteria. He smiled as I sat down and spent the rest of the time I was eating whispering all the newest Hyde gossip in my ear. By the time I was finished there was hardly anyone else left in the cafeteria and all I had left to eat was my chocolate pie. He took some of it on his finger and like pushed it all over my face, so I had chocolate all over my face. So of course I got back at him, shoving almost all the pie in his face. He was shocked and it looked so funny. Of course it didnt end there, and eventually my pie was half over both of us, but some of it I did get to eat.
2.It was december or January. He had snuck out after hours again, and we had met by the lake. He had snuck up behind me, grabbing my waist and I screamed, he laughed, thats how I knew it was him. We spent the time until the first bed check just walking around and talking. I loved those moments,the thrill of feeling like I was breaking the rules, and the fact that I was happy cause I could be with him.
I'm also thankful for Jakey. I told daniel if I had to do it all over again, I wouldnt take it back. Cause even though it hurts so bad to loose him, to find him, to know hes gone, to wonder why, we were happy once too. I'm trying to get Benji to realize that. You cant keep clinging to the bad, to the pain, ou have to remember the happiness, the joy, the smiles. They make up for the tears. But then I think, its been almost 6 years, and how past it am I really? I still cry, I still freak, I still have nightmares where I wake up screaming, I still cant open the letter he wrote me. 6 years and it all still happens. But I can write these things with a smile. These happy memories and laugh at him. Laugh at him and be happy for the time I got to spend with him. The things we did and the moment we share. Even though it hurts to remember, cause it reminds of the pain, I doubt hed want me unhappy. Though he left me he wouldnt want me unhappy. Plus who would I be if he hadnt died. Would I be here? Would I be back here now? Would I be a doctor now? Would I be the person I am now? I can't honestly say yes.
Mandy