(no subject)
There's nothing like waking up and seeing your name plastered all over your friends page. Specially when not all of it is good or nice. Of course "wake up" wouldnt be the right word, since I dont think I slept much last night. What I really need is a cup of coffee and a back massage, since I think that unless your under the influence of stress or drugs my couch isnt comfy to lay on for whole nights at a time.
Theres so much to write. I dont know where to start... Maybe with the most important. I hope this week hasnt caused people to hate me so far. I'm a cool person, really I am, but I have a job to do guys, and thats making sure your all okay, even if sometimes you have to do things you dont want to do. Like eat food, and take medicine. Your right, I cant force you to do anything. But you should know if I want you to do something, then theres a good reason for it. And it takes so long to gain trust, and it can be ruined in the course of minutes. That part sucks the most. So I'm sorry. You all know who you are. So come see me if you can...my office is always open, and I'm almost always here. Its for your own good. I promise.
What else is there. So Ian hurt himself. And I bandaged the cuts and gave him stitches and stuff. And I didnt freak out! I'm so proud of myself. For once I didnt freak out. I was like wow I must be getting better, must be getting able to deal with it. Then night time came. Benji said No one else freaks out because their best friends die. Told him that wasnt true, and that I freaked out too. Well not so much told him I freaked out as what happened. Maybe I should just write it here, the dream, and maybe it will be better than reliving it whenever I tell it.
I was in the room, and screaming, and holding him. And there was blood all over me, my hands, my clothes, my face, I could smell it, taste it, feel it. And I kept screaming and holding him even though I knew he was dead. Doctor Hall and some of the other doctors came in, those who were searching for him too, and tried to get me off. Dr. Hall ended up giving me a shot of some sedative to calm me down and they pulled me off... and the next thing I knew I was in Dr. Halls office on the couch, curled up. It was so real, it was like I was right there again. Smelling the coppery scent of the blood, feeling the cold feeling as it dried on my skin. I dont know how people can do that, cut themselves or anything. Just cause that feeling makes me cringe. But needless to say after that I didnt sleep anymore. I told Dr. Allman that dream, he asked if they were always that vivid. Yep. Sure are.
Which brings me to another point. The dear Dr. Allman. Silly silly man really :) Doesnt like candy. Of course I did force him to eat a jelly bean, on a dare, and I won, cause I got it in his mouth, cause I'm like a super sporty person like that. So We're going for drinks this weekend. I just have to pick an outfit out of the ones I was thinking of wearing. Cause I want to look nice, stunning, but not like I'm trying to hard to impress people. Hes a really nice guy, though he thinks that Mistletoe kisses are the same as regular kisses, but they so totally arent. Theres a big difference. Not a big one, but just a difference haha. So yes. I'm taking one of the days this weekend of, and that should be wonderful. Hopefully he'll have clothes to wear and stuffy by then :p But yes, Dr. Quinn (hehe that sounds so silly:) Like it should have medicine woman after it) If you need any towels or sheets or anything...aside from my mini skirt of course... Dont be afraid to ask :)
Thats all for now I guess...Maybe. Yeah it is. Its time to go eat pudding. And for future reference, I've been eating this much sweets for years and have yet to gain major weight :) tehehe
Dr. Mandy
Theres so much to write. I dont know where to start... Maybe with the most important. I hope this week hasnt caused people to hate me so far. I'm a cool person, really I am, but I have a job to do guys, and thats making sure your all okay, even if sometimes you have to do things you dont want to do. Like eat food, and take medicine. Your right, I cant force you to do anything. But you should know if I want you to do something, then theres a good reason for it. And it takes so long to gain trust, and it can be ruined in the course of minutes. That part sucks the most. So I'm sorry. You all know who you are. So come see me if you can...my office is always open, and I'm almost always here. Its for your own good. I promise.
What else is there. So Ian hurt himself. And I bandaged the cuts and gave him stitches and stuff. And I didnt freak out! I'm so proud of myself. For once I didnt freak out. I was like wow I must be getting better, must be getting able to deal with it. Then night time came. Benji said No one else freaks out because their best friends die. Told him that wasnt true, and that I freaked out too. Well not so much told him I freaked out as what happened. Maybe I should just write it here, the dream, and maybe it will be better than reliving it whenever I tell it.
I was in the room, and screaming, and holding him. And there was blood all over me, my hands, my clothes, my face, I could smell it, taste it, feel it. And I kept screaming and holding him even though I knew he was dead. Doctor Hall and some of the other doctors came in, those who were searching for him too, and tried to get me off. Dr. Hall ended up giving me a shot of some sedative to calm me down and they pulled me off... and the next thing I knew I was in Dr. Halls office on the couch, curled up. It was so real, it was like I was right there again. Smelling the coppery scent of the blood, feeling the cold feeling as it dried on my skin. I dont know how people can do that, cut themselves or anything. Just cause that feeling makes me cringe. But needless to say after that I didnt sleep anymore. I told Dr. Allman that dream, he asked if they were always that vivid. Yep. Sure are.
Which brings me to another point. The dear Dr. Allman. Silly silly man really :) Doesnt like candy. Of course I did force him to eat a jelly bean, on a dare, and I won, cause I got it in his mouth, cause I'm like a super sporty person like that. So We're going for drinks this weekend. I just have to pick an outfit out of the ones I was thinking of wearing. Cause I want to look nice, stunning, but not like I'm trying to hard to impress people. Hes a really nice guy, though he thinks that Mistletoe kisses are the same as regular kisses, but they so totally arent. Theres a big difference. Not a big one, but just a difference haha. So yes. I'm taking one of the days this weekend of, and that should be wonderful. Hopefully he'll have clothes to wear and stuffy by then :p But yes, Dr. Quinn (hehe that sounds so silly:) Like it should have medicine woman after it) If you need any towels or sheets or anything...aside from my mini skirt of course... Dont be afraid to ask :)
Thats all for now I guess...Maybe. Yeah it is. Its time to go eat pudding. And for future reference, I've been eating this much sweets for years and have yet to gain major weight :) tehehe
Dr. Mandy