For Future Reference
I must commit the following to writing so that I will have it later. Why? Because anymore my memory sucks so bad that when I go to repeat things I've decided on, those things are no longer accessible to me when the time comes. So here goes.
BTW, if you're sick of hearing things about David, skip this entry.
I talked to Sarah Fayad about my current situation and found myself realizing things that I hadn't completely realized previously. But anyway, to get to the point...
I've come to several conclusions:
I love David so much that I will do anything to try and preserve what's left of the passion we have for each other. It's difficult to deal with what's going on when no one around me thinks that David and I should be together, but I don't care what anyone else thinks about it anymore. Granted, try as I might, it's probably going to be impossible for me to not take others opinions into account. Also, even though a mutual acquaintance claims that David says he's ready to move on, I don't believe it. At least, not fully. If David really wanted or was ready to move on, he would have ended the relationship by now. Hell, for all I know this instance could merely be something similar to what happened last weekend. All that is happening to David and I right now is a test of our bond, whether it deals directly with the relationship or not (so this includes my stresses about school as well as David's legal problems). Because I have decided this, I am going to follow my heart and try to salvage things with David. After all, whether it makes sense to people that David and I shouldn't be together, love has nothing to do with reason. I have to follow my heart. I feel deep within my soul that David and I have a strong bond. My feelings for David are unlike any of those I have ever felt. I could spend the rest of my life with him. I'd even wait until he was out of jail if he asked me (in the unlikely event that's where he ends up). There is something powerful between us, and if it has to be tested in whatever way, in the end it can only make the bond stronger.
This is how I feel. And screw the rest of the world if they choose not to accept it, because I could care less whether they do or not.
BTW, if you're sick of hearing things about David, skip this entry.
I talked to Sarah Fayad about my current situation and found myself realizing things that I hadn't completely realized previously. But anyway, to get to the point...
I've come to several conclusions:
I love David so much that I will do anything to try and preserve what's left of the passion we have for each other. It's difficult to deal with what's going on when no one around me thinks that David and I should be together, but I don't care what anyone else thinks about it anymore. Granted, try as I might, it's probably going to be impossible for me to not take others opinions into account. Also, even though a mutual acquaintance claims that David says he's ready to move on, I don't believe it. At least, not fully. If David really wanted or was ready to move on, he would have ended the relationship by now. Hell, for all I know this instance could merely be something similar to what happened last weekend. All that is happening to David and I right now is a test of our bond, whether it deals directly with the relationship or not (so this includes my stresses about school as well as David's legal problems). Because I have decided this, I am going to follow my heart and try to salvage things with David. After all, whether it makes sense to people that David and I shouldn't be together, love has nothing to do with reason. I have to follow my heart. I feel deep within my soul that David and I have a strong bond. My feelings for David are unlike any of those I have ever felt. I could spend the rest of my life with him. I'd even wait until he was out of jail if he asked me (in the unlikely event that's where he ends up). There is something powerful between us, and if it has to be tested in whatever way, in the end it can only make the bond stronger.
This is how I feel. And screw the rest of the world if they choose not to accept it, because I could care less whether they do or not.