I just stared out the window for a full 10 minutes.
Without moving. Aside from the shivering that comes with the low temperature that runs in conjunction with the single pain windows that is.
I keep trying to formulate some coherent way to say everything that's on my mind, but I can't. So I've been sitting here watching the clouds change color and the streetlights become dimmer while the sun comes up.
I feel guilty, selfish, awkward... for varying reasons. My predisposition to guilt makes it the most prevalent of these. (Damn, I would've been the ideal form of Catholic if I could see some sense in religion.)
I keep trying to find the better things to say to people, but it won't happen for me. I come across as ambivalent or mocking or don't come across at all. And my inner self... even more disparaging with every remark. There's language but no communication.
I keep trying to formulate some coherent way to say everything that's on my mind, but I can't. So I've been sitting here watching the clouds change color and the streetlights become dimmer while the sun comes up.
I feel guilty, selfish, awkward... for varying reasons. My predisposition to guilt makes it the most prevalent of these. (Damn, I would've been the ideal form of Catholic if I could see some sense in religion.)
I keep trying to find the better things to say to people, but it won't happen for me. I come across as ambivalent or mocking or don't come across at all. And my inner self... even more disparaging with every remark. There's language but no communication.