Arg!
I've recently gotten the idea that it is time, and beyound time, that I make my own webpage. Problem being, I can't remember for the life of me how to code in HTML. I used to know. Really I did. Now I haven't the foggiest. I'm ready to scream now. I suppose I should just go to the Shaw homepage and see what is there for Online services, never mind activating the webspace that I get for being a client. In the mean time, I've been trying to find a page builder client, with no luck.
On another note, it's damned hot today. I feel like I'm being very slowly broiled in my own juices. Ugh. Since I washed my hair well over and hour ago, and it's -still- not dry.. this is annoying. Ah well. Thats just typical.
Recently, with all the friends having relationship issues of one form or another, I've been terribly grateful the person I like is so.. normal. The only strange is a strange I can understand and live with. We don't even really have a 'relationship' as it is generally understood. Of course, if you regularily read my journal, you know that. Somehow, I think I've done the increadibly intelligent thing by working on friendship before anything else.
I used to complain about always ending up with crushes on my friends. Maybe it's not such a bad thing. Growing something closer out of the seeds of friendship is, I think, probably the most intelligent thing I think people can do. You get to know your friends, often, in a way you don't get to know a lover, at least at first. You see thier good side, and their bad. You tend to see the quirks in your friends early on, but when your lovers (physica or not right away), sometimes you unintentionally hide things from each other to be more appealing. You don't really care so much if your friends know you're a klutz, or have a slightly twisted sense of humor, or get whiney on occasion.. stuff like that.
And, if you end up being really good friends, well, then you share things you wouldn't always tell a lover. You get to know the person inside and out. This, of course, would be how I fell in love with a woman (some people would be aware of this). I didn't know, or didn't want to admit it. But when you are so very connected to someone you can finish each other's sentances... you get my point.
I can understand the frustration that people encounter, constantly, when dealing with this. The only thing, and I admit this, that I have never understood is the fixation on sex. Don't get me wrong! It's not that I don't want it, or don't like it. I do. I enjoy sex as much as the next person. But if I'm not getting any, well, to be blunt.. I have hands.. it's not the same, but it satisfies for the moment. I know I have a sex drive, I've just never felt the need to base a relationship off it from the start. In fact, it's one of the things that -split- the two relationships I was in! There really are times when I don't -want- to be touched. And not just during 'that time of the month', though thats the worst time. When I want to be alone, and don't want people around.. the last thing I need is someone prodding me for sex.
The other thing is, my friends are well aware of the idea that the vast majority of my friends are male. Frankly, I don't need anyone in my life who can't live with this idea. People who are my friends are already adjusted to this idea. Comeon.. it's not like I'm going to hop into bed with everything that walks by. Yes, I do find people attractive, and yes, I may just fantasize.. that means shit all. If you're going to be a possessive, jealous prick, get out. Also, you get to know temperment. I really, honestly am a pacifist, but if the person I'm with -ever- raises a hand to me in violence.. after I knock them on their ass, I will throw them out of the door and OUT of my life. And I've seen this as well. Friends in abusive relationships. I've never understood how a person can.. can.. become slaves to this sort of thing. There is NEVER a reason, as far as I'm concerned.
I consider myself a fairly stable person, more then able to commit to a person, and I mean -a- person. I have encountered, and in fact am good friends with a person involved in a poly relationship.. and it works. There are people it works for. I repsect these people, that they can make this work for them. Not me. I felt uncomfortable being the object of attraction for someone -in- a poly relationship. I don't consider myself a jelous or possessive person.. but that is beyound me. Of course, I've never been in that situation, so it's hard to say. Maybe if it was the -right- person.. but I doubt it.
I will never say that a relationship is 'wrong' unless it's abusive in some manner. Poly or not, Sub/Dom or not.. it's entirely the choice of the people involved, and I will still be friends with and spend my time with these people. That doesn't mean I want anything to do with those kinds of relationships myself.
Well, I think I've spewed enough of my opinion here.. this is not directed at anyone. Just considering the number of people I've been talking with/at lately who have been having issues.. and just needed to put down, I guess, my opinions on everything. Ah well. Anyway, if you don't like it, go away. You don't have to read it. I guess it's like everything else in my life. It's MY life, and you can just fuck off if you don't like it. Thanks.
On another note, it's damned hot today. I feel like I'm being very slowly broiled in my own juices. Ugh. Since I washed my hair well over and hour ago, and it's -still- not dry.. this is annoying. Ah well. Thats just typical.
Recently, with all the friends having relationship issues of one form or another, I've been terribly grateful the person I like is so.. normal. The only strange is a strange I can understand and live with. We don't even really have a 'relationship' as it is generally understood. Of course, if you regularily read my journal, you know that. Somehow, I think I've done the increadibly intelligent thing by working on friendship before anything else.
I used to complain about always ending up with crushes on my friends. Maybe it's not such a bad thing. Growing something closer out of the seeds of friendship is, I think, probably the most intelligent thing I think people can do. You get to know your friends, often, in a way you don't get to know a lover, at least at first. You see thier good side, and their bad. You tend to see the quirks in your friends early on, but when your lovers (physica or not right away), sometimes you unintentionally hide things from each other to be more appealing. You don't really care so much if your friends know you're a klutz, or have a slightly twisted sense of humor, or get whiney on occasion.. stuff like that.
And, if you end up being really good friends, well, then you share things you wouldn't always tell a lover. You get to know the person inside and out. This, of course, would be how I fell in love with a woman (some people would be aware of this). I didn't know, or didn't want to admit it. But when you are so very connected to someone you can finish each other's sentances... you get my point.
I can understand the frustration that people encounter, constantly, when dealing with this. The only thing, and I admit this, that I have never understood is the fixation on sex. Don't get me wrong! It's not that I don't want it, or don't like it. I do. I enjoy sex as much as the next person. But if I'm not getting any, well, to be blunt.. I have hands.. it's not the same, but it satisfies for the moment. I know I have a sex drive, I've just never felt the need to base a relationship off it from the start. In fact, it's one of the things that -split- the two relationships I was in! There really are times when I don't -want- to be touched. And not just during 'that time of the month', though thats the worst time. When I want to be alone, and don't want people around.. the last thing I need is someone prodding me for sex.
The other thing is, my friends are well aware of the idea that the vast majority of my friends are male. Frankly, I don't need anyone in my life who can't live with this idea. People who are my friends are already adjusted to this idea. Comeon.. it's not like I'm going to hop into bed with everything that walks by. Yes, I do find people attractive, and yes, I may just fantasize.. that means shit all. If you're going to be a possessive, jealous prick, get out. Also, you get to know temperment. I really, honestly am a pacifist, but if the person I'm with -ever- raises a hand to me in violence.. after I knock them on their ass, I will throw them out of the door and OUT of my life. And I've seen this as well. Friends in abusive relationships. I've never understood how a person can.. can.. become slaves to this sort of thing. There is NEVER a reason, as far as I'm concerned.
I consider myself a fairly stable person, more then able to commit to a person, and I mean -a- person. I have encountered, and in fact am good friends with a person involved in a poly relationship.. and it works. There are people it works for. I repsect these people, that they can make this work for them. Not me. I felt uncomfortable being the object of attraction for someone -in- a poly relationship. I don't consider myself a jelous or possessive person.. but that is beyound me. Of course, I've never been in that situation, so it's hard to say. Maybe if it was the -right- person.. but I doubt it.
I will never say that a relationship is 'wrong' unless it's abusive in some manner. Poly or not, Sub/Dom or not.. it's entirely the choice of the people involved, and I will still be friends with and spend my time with these people. That doesn't mean I want anything to do with those kinds of relationships myself.
Well, I think I've spewed enough of my opinion here.. this is not directed at anyone. Just considering the number of people I've been talking with/at lately who have been having issues.. and just needed to put down, I guess, my opinions on everything. Ah well. Anyway, if you don't like it, go away. You don't have to read it. I guess it's like everything else in my life. It's MY life, and you can just fuck off if you don't like it. Thanks.