i am barely breathing, and i can't find the air--
don't know who i'm kidding, imagining you'd care..
every year or so, i get to a point where i'm just unhappy. and i think that moment this year is rght now. i just can't seem to do anything right or accomplish anything. and no matter what i do to improve my state [or situation, if you will]..nothing works. i'm starting to feel depression work it's magic again, and take me over. i know that's what it is because i'm quick to empty the bottle to get away from my problems. that's not good, and i know it--but it's not like it matter this day in age. i think, "a few more pills and i'll just feel better".
but i usually have a cause for tha way i feel. and in this case, there is not one single cause that i can name..but whatever it is, the result is the same. i feel like dying. and i feel like distancing myself from eveyone and everything i know.
i just need to take some time to myself. whether it be a road trip, or even a short drive to the mall. or hiking or something. but i need to find a solution quickly, because somehow i feel that this time it's different, and that i have to actually face my problems. as if i can't run away from them anymore.
damn.