(no subject)
I never understood why Mary moved so far away till now. To cut off everything and leave it behind is something i wish i could do. To not feel, to not know, would just be amazing. I thought i had it all together, i thought i was sane and could do this but i can't.
Sadness overwhelms me every morning, every second that i move. I feel weights pull me down and i find not strengh in even breathing. I decided today that this was the end, the end of it all. I made a list of all the people that i need to cut ties with and one of them might actually be my entire family. I can't watch them move on with their lives like my mom never existed, like my uncle never was there. I can't watch my dad get re-married without feeling like i want to throw myself onto oncoming traffic.
Don't hate me if today i say goodbye. But some people may never hear from me again. I love you all and this is not a good bye note, so suicide is nothing to worried about. This is not what that is...it is me just trying my hardest to keep myself sane.
When you wake up in the morning and wish you never did, when you cry yourself to sleep everynight praying this it will be your last heartache, when the people that you thought were your friends leave your side again and again, or dont talk to you for months at a time then come to me with your concerns. But until then you know nothing. Absolutly nothing.
Sadness overwhelms me every morning, every second that i move. I feel weights pull me down and i find not strengh in even breathing. I decided today that this was the end, the end of it all. I made a list of all the people that i need to cut ties with and one of them might actually be my entire family. I can't watch them move on with their lives like my mom never existed, like my uncle never was there. I can't watch my dad get re-married without feeling like i want to throw myself onto oncoming traffic.
Don't hate me if today i say goodbye. But some people may never hear from me again. I love you all and this is not a good bye note, so suicide is nothing to worried about. This is not what that is...it is me just trying my hardest to keep myself sane.
When you wake up in the morning and wish you never did, when you cry yourself to sleep everynight praying this it will be your last heartache, when the people that you thought were your friends leave your side again and again, or dont talk to you for months at a time then come to me with your concerns. But until then you know nothing. Absolutly nothing.