my salvation
Anyone who texts back “Why?” after they are told that they’re not getting laid tonight (directly after they’ve made the statement that they’re not leaving for Sac for two more hours in order to watch the NBA finals) is a complete twit. Figure it out, idiot.
I have these things called mood swings. Maybe they have to do with the heat, or the fact that my boyfriend is sometimes an ass. Or the fact that I overreact. Whichever comes first.
Today Josh told me that Cathy had suggested that he keep working at the Animal Hospital until he finds a job in Sacramento. He told her that the only problem with that idea is that it wouldn’t be easy to look for and find a job while having a full time job in a town almost 2 hours away. But he was considering it, for some reason - and not quite jokingly.
WHY.
I meant that as a statement. Not a question.
I want to know why everyone who works at the damn hospital wants to smother the dreams out of everything that moves. Doug and Cathy are just waiting for us to fail. They’re waiting for Josh to come crawling back and for me to try to un-burn the bridge that I set fire to with Doug. And the worst - the most hurtful part - is that I thought that Cathy was on our side.
Apparently not. I think the only person who will be truly happy for us at Josh’s going away party will be Marti, who’s been asking me about what I want to do as a career and giving me suggestions, saying that there a lot of things she would do differently if she was in my position and could do everything over again.
You can’t hug the woman, and she still intimidates me a little, but she completely rocks. I think she’s in love with Josh, but I’m over it. She’s supportive and one of those people who I would die to have respect me. It’s happened slowly over the last 3 years or so. It’s taken awhile. But when she sat next to me at Kailyn’s wedding and asked me, “So, what do you want to do?” I had to smile. I felt like J.D. and Dr. Cox on Scrubs - the constant need for attention and approval from someone who has no interest in being your mentor.
I feel like the people that you know are in your life for a reason. I like to think that everything ends up working out, even when it doesn’t feel like it does.
I have two interviews next week for the job at UC Davis. One is an hour-long panel interview, and the other is a 20 minute presentation on dating safety. My heart jumped into my throat when the woman over the phone told me that I had to do a presentation, but I know that I have to do it, and that I would be doing a lot of presenting if I got this job.
If I got this job.
I might pray to a God that I don’t believe in. (And yes, I love that lyric from The Script).
Seriously though.
I need to scrap together everything I’ve learned in my 4 years of Women’s Studies, pull my shit together, create something that’s not the usual “do’s and don’ts,” suck it up, and knock that damn presentation out of the water.
In a way I’m almost kind of grateful. I’m so freaked out about the presentation that the interview CANNOT be any worse. That’s the least of my worries. I know who I am, what I stand for, what I know - the most they can do is ask questions that I’ll be able to answer. I hope.
Moving on. I have a week to prepare for it. I’m going shopping for interview clothes with my mom on Father’s Day while my dad and brother go to the racetrack that used to be called Sears Point. I refuse to call it anything else.
Thank God for parents. It’s going to be so nice to not have to rely on them anymore, though.
Time.
I have these things called mood swings. Maybe they have to do with the heat, or the fact that my boyfriend is sometimes an ass. Or the fact that I overreact. Whichever comes first.
Today Josh told me that Cathy had suggested that he keep working at the Animal Hospital until he finds a job in Sacramento. He told her that the only problem with that idea is that it wouldn’t be easy to look for and find a job while having a full time job in a town almost 2 hours away. But he was considering it, for some reason - and not quite jokingly.
WHY.
I meant that as a statement. Not a question.
I want to know why everyone who works at the damn hospital wants to smother the dreams out of everything that moves. Doug and Cathy are just waiting for us to fail. They’re waiting for Josh to come crawling back and for me to try to un-burn the bridge that I set fire to with Doug. And the worst - the most hurtful part - is that I thought that Cathy was on our side.
Apparently not. I think the only person who will be truly happy for us at Josh’s going away party will be Marti, who’s been asking me about what I want to do as a career and giving me suggestions, saying that there a lot of things she would do differently if she was in my position and could do everything over again.
You can’t hug the woman, and she still intimidates me a little, but she completely rocks. I think she’s in love with Josh, but I’m over it. She’s supportive and one of those people who I would die to have respect me. It’s happened slowly over the last 3 years or so. It’s taken awhile. But when she sat next to me at Kailyn’s wedding and asked me, “So, what do you want to do?” I had to smile. I felt like J.D. and Dr. Cox on Scrubs - the constant need for attention and approval from someone who has no interest in being your mentor.
I feel like the people that you know are in your life for a reason. I like to think that everything ends up working out, even when it doesn’t feel like it does.
I have two interviews next week for the job at UC Davis. One is an hour-long panel interview, and the other is a 20 minute presentation on dating safety. My heart jumped into my throat when the woman over the phone told me that I had to do a presentation, but I know that I have to do it, and that I would be doing a lot of presenting if I got this job.
If I got this job.
I might pray to a God that I don’t believe in. (And yes, I love that lyric from The Script).
Seriously though.
I need to scrap together everything I’ve learned in my 4 years of Women’s Studies, pull my shit together, create something that’s not the usual “do’s and don’ts,” suck it up, and knock that damn presentation out of the water.
In a way I’m almost kind of grateful. I’m so freaked out about the presentation that the interview CANNOT be any worse. That’s the least of my worries. I know who I am, what I stand for, what I know - the most they can do is ask questions that I’ll be able to answer. I hope.
Moving on. I have a week to prepare for it. I’m going shopping for interview clothes with my mom on Father’s Day while my dad and brother go to the racetrack that used to be called Sears Point. I refuse to call it anything else.
Thank God for parents. It’s going to be so nice to not have to rely on them anymore, though.
Time.