To my Bestfriend
Where to start?
Coming from someone who, less than month ago, had to say good-bye to 7 of the best people I've ever met and that were my everythings for the 9 most important and best months of my life, I don't know what you're going through, but I understand. I can guarantee, as you already can tell, that it's not going to be easy. There isn't a day that goes by that they don't cross through my mind atleast half of the time that I'm awake and not a night that goes by that I wish they were here. The smallest things will remind me of them and I'll get teary-eyed in what seem to be the most ridiculous places-take the supermarket for example. My heart aches constantly, and when people ask me if I'm happy to be home, I can't honestly say I'm telling the truth when I say yes. A lot of the time I'd much rather be there. That can quite easily be mistaken for me not caring to see everyone [at home] again, which isn't true. The difference between me missing home while I was away and me missing Katimavik now is that while I was in Katimavik I always knew it was for sure I'd see everyone again in 9 months; now I'm not sure when or if I'll see Mallory, Scott, Emi, Parker, Sean, Shannon, Mel or Catherine.
What was even harder, was that when I got home it felt like instead of not seeing my bestfriend for 9 months, I have not seen her for 10 months. I was so excited to share my experience with her, but when I went to show her my pictures, she hardly looked...why? because her boyfriend was there. And we got about 1 hour alone time in the almost month I was back...why? because she was either talking with her boyfriend on the phone or he was with us when we went out. The person who I expected the most from was not there. Now don't get me wrong, everyone else was great, but I have not been bestfriends with everyone else for 9 or so years and they have their own things going for them.
I want you to know that I'm not angry, because how do you get angry at someone for falling in love? I also know what it's like to feel like you have no one when you need them the most, and would not want you to go through that. I'm not promising that I'll be a great help or that I will have a lot of sympathy, becuase I honestly don't know if I can, but I will genuinely try my best.
xxoo
Mandie
Coming from someone who, less than month ago, had to say good-bye to 7 of the best people I've ever met and that were my everythings for the 9 most important and best months of my life, I don't know what you're going through, but I understand. I can guarantee, as you already can tell, that it's not going to be easy. There isn't a day that goes by that they don't cross through my mind atleast half of the time that I'm awake and not a night that goes by that I wish they were here. The smallest things will remind me of them and I'll get teary-eyed in what seem to be the most ridiculous places-take the supermarket for example. My heart aches constantly, and when people ask me if I'm happy to be home, I can't honestly say I'm telling the truth when I say yes. A lot of the time I'd much rather be there. That can quite easily be mistaken for me not caring to see everyone [at home] again, which isn't true. The difference between me missing home while I was away and me missing Katimavik now is that while I was in Katimavik I always knew it was for sure I'd see everyone again in 9 months; now I'm not sure when or if I'll see Mallory, Scott, Emi, Parker, Sean, Shannon, Mel or Catherine.
What was even harder, was that when I got home it felt like instead of not seeing my bestfriend for 9 months, I have not seen her for 10 months. I was so excited to share my experience with her, but when I went to show her my pictures, she hardly looked...why? because her boyfriend was there. And we got about 1 hour alone time in the almost month I was back...why? because she was either talking with her boyfriend on the phone or he was with us when we went out. The person who I expected the most from was not there. Now don't get me wrong, everyone else was great, but I have not been bestfriends with everyone else for 9 or so years and they have their own things going for them.
I want you to know that I'm not angry, because how do you get angry at someone for falling in love? I also know what it's like to feel like you have no one when you need them the most, and would not want you to go through that. I'm not promising that I'll be a great help or that I will have a lot of sympathy, becuase I honestly don't know if I can, but I will genuinely try my best.
xxoo
Mandie