Wow...
Well i remember last night Ana told me I hadent written in here for a week or longer except for that post with me and Anas convo...so here you go Ana...this is gonna be long...
Last week I had a birthday. I wasn't too excited. I felt like people were there just because they felt bad. Sunday the day before my birthday I went to the Gaslighter with Ana and Sophia. We saw Amy and Sean. It was good seeing Amy again and weird seeing Sean, He called me Mandie CUNT but he said it just slipped out because he was drunk and didnt mean it like that. I havent really talked to him since like 7th grade, I only really see him in random places or hear Sophia talk about him. He looks really different.
Me, Sophia, and Ana decided to drink. Sophia and I were fine cause we didnt drink much but something happend to Ana, im sure EVERYONE knows about it so i'm not even going to talk about it. It's none of your buisness anyway. Thank god for Morgan, Muhammad, Kenny, Chad and this other guy for being there! They helped with the whole Ana thing and drove us home. They are such nice guys and so much fun to hang out with. By the time we got home that night I had this sudden urge to eat a breakfest burrito and Ana wanted chips and salsa. So we hung out in my kitchen for a while. I was really glad she was okay and stuff. I was so scared. Ana and i went to bed around 3 something and got up at 10. I really didnt want to have my party and almost canceld it. I felt like shit. I felt like everyone hated Ana and I for what happend the day before.
I got up, took a shower and cleaned my room. Ana came over with Sophia and basically kicked me out of my room and then out of the kitchen and living room. When Ana was done with my room I walked in there and looked at my desk and saw 4 star glass tea light candel holders with a mini card standing up with confeti all around everything i read the card and it said " hey manja! Happy b-day! I <3 you so00 much...!! BTW did I um tell you that I got you Finch Tickets?! :) Ana + Mandie= Best buds forever! <3 Ana" I wanted to cry it was so sweet! Just watching Ana and Sophia running around my house and taking my birthday so seriously meant so much to me! It was so cute I would walk to the bathroom and Sophia and ana would go GET OUT go away!!!!! cause they were doing stuff in the living room hehe. Finally i was able to walk out and they had it all decorted and there were a bunch of baloons everywhere with streamers. Sophia and Ana mean so much to me. I'm glad i have friends like them. I wasnt excited at all about my birthday untill i saw Soph and Ana going crazy about it! <3<3<3<3 The party was kind of awkward at first it was mostly just Viggy, Ana and Lizz talking, and Tree and Chuck sitting next to eachother and Brian sitting on a chair. Sophia and I just left and took pictures on my web cam. And then we came back and went outside thats when Paul(21 yr old paul) showed up. Thats when everyone started talking and stuff. :) I opend one of the presents my grandma got me and it was a new cd player but not just a normal one! You can hook this one up to your computer and play your Mp3s on it! I'm in love with it! When i opend it i was feeling really awkward about everyone who was over at my house so i didnt act like i liked it. I felt like a brat and i'm sorry if people thought that. Other people started showing up. And it turned out to be alot of fun. except for when viggy left cause I went outside to say hi to Sam and they just drove off. I was like yeah thats fucking rude but oh well I dont really care anymore. I'm Happy Viggy came. And im glad everyone else did too especially Lizz, she is soooo beautiful. Shes totally grown up. I hope I can make it to her 17th bday :)
Everyone left around 8 or so. I wish Sangita would have had a better time. I love that girl to death. And I wanted her to have fun. I guess i failed. Im sorry. I had fun sitting on the couch with Chad, Ana, Muhammad, And sophia :).
After my party i cleaned up and took a sleeping pill and went to sleep and ended up missing my first day of school! I was so pissed. But on wed i actually started and my teacher is fucking awesome I really feel like i connect with her and It feels so good to know that she thinks im doing really well. She emailed my grandma and told her how impressed she was with how quickly i get done with my assignments. :):):) Compliments coming from teachers are always good now that i'm not in voyager. I'm definately signing up for Middle College. I need to be there. Independant studies really isnt all that challenging. I really want to explore other things.
I got in a fight with Ana. I forget which day but it was over the stupidest fucking thing ever. I thought things wouldnt be the same after that. But things are better than ever now. So much more communication so much more love. I love myself too!!! I love myself for being able to comunicate with people better and I love myself for growing up so well. I love being me and I love all of the friends i have and i love my family.
Ana said shes watched me grow up. And its true. Im really starting to grow up and i love this feeling of being complete. I dont think iv ever been able to say that i love myself. That i love being who i am. Thanks for reading all of this.
<3<3<3<3<3<3
-mandie
Last week I had a birthday. I wasn't too excited. I felt like people were there just because they felt bad. Sunday the day before my birthday I went to the Gaslighter with Ana and Sophia. We saw Amy and Sean. It was good seeing Amy again and weird seeing Sean, He called me Mandie CUNT but he said it just slipped out because he was drunk and didnt mean it like that. I havent really talked to him since like 7th grade, I only really see him in random places or hear Sophia talk about him. He looks really different.
Me, Sophia, and Ana decided to drink. Sophia and I were fine cause we didnt drink much but something happend to Ana, im sure EVERYONE knows about it so i'm not even going to talk about it. It's none of your buisness anyway. Thank god for Morgan, Muhammad, Kenny, Chad and this other guy for being there! They helped with the whole Ana thing and drove us home. They are such nice guys and so much fun to hang out with. By the time we got home that night I had this sudden urge to eat a breakfest burrito and Ana wanted chips and salsa. So we hung out in my kitchen for a while. I was really glad she was okay and stuff. I was so scared. Ana and i went to bed around 3 something and got up at 10. I really didnt want to have my party and almost canceld it. I felt like shit. I felt like everyone hated Ana and I for what happend the day before.
I got up, took a shower and cleaned my room. Ana came over with Sophia and basically kicked me out of my room and then out of the kitchen and living room. When Ana was done with my room I walked in there and looked at my desk and saw 4 star glass tea light candel holders with a mini card standing up with confeti all around everything i read the card and it said " hey manja! Happy b-day! I <3 you so00 much...!! BTW did I um tell you that I got you Finch Tickets?! :) Ana + Mandie= Best buds forever! <3 Ana" I wanted to cry it was so sweet! Just watching Ana and Sophia running around my house and taking my birthday so seriously meant so much to me! It was so cute I would walk to the bathroom and Sophia and ana would go GET OUT go away!!!!! cause they were doing stuff in the living room hehe. Finally i was able to walk out and they had it all decorted and there were a bunch of baloons everywhere with streamers. Sophia and Ana mean so much to me. I'm glad i have friends like them. I wasnt excited at all about my birthday untill i saw Soph and Ana going crazy about it! <3<3<3<3 The party was kind of awkward at first it was mostly just Viggy, Ana and Lizz talking, and Tree and Chuck sitting next to eachother and Brian sitting on a chair. Sophia and I just left and took pictures on my web cam. And then we came back and went outside thats when Paul(21 yr old paul) showed up. Thats when everyone started talking and stuff. :) I opend one of the presents my grandma got me and it was a new cd player but not just a normal one! You can hook this one up to your computer and play your Mp3s on it! I'm in love with it! When i opend it i was feeling really awkward about everyone who was over at my house so i didnt act like i liked it. I felt like a brat and i'm sorry if people thought that. Other people started showing up. And it turned out to be alot of fun. except for when viggy left cause I went outside to say hi to Sam and they just drove off. I was like yeah thats fucking rude but oh well I dont really care anymore. I'm Happy Viggy came. And im glad everyone else did too especially Lizz, she is soooo beautiful. Shes totally grown up. I hope I can make it to her 17th bday :)
Everyone left around 8 or so. I wish Sangita would have had a better time. I love that girl to death. And I wanted her to have fun. I guess i failed. Im sorry. I had fun sitting on the couch with Chad, Ana, Muhammad, And sophia :).
After my party i cleaned up and took a sleeping pill and went to sleep and ended up missing my first day of school! I was so pissed. But on wed i actually started and my teacher is fucking awesome I really feel like i connect with her and It feels so good to know that she thinks im doing really well. She emailed my grandma and told her how impressed she was with how quickly i get done with my assignments. :):):) Compliments coming from teachers are always good now that i'm not in voyager. I'm definately signing up for Middle College. I need to be there. Independant studies really isnt all that challenging. I really want to explore other things.
I got in a fight with Ana. I forget which day but it was over the stupidest fucking thing ever. I thought things wouldnt be the same after that. But things are better than ever now. So much more communication so much more love. I love myself too!!! I love myself for being able to comunicate with people better and I love myself for growing up so well. I love being me and I love all of the friends i have and i love my family.
Ana said shes watched me grow up. And its true. Im really starting to grow up and i love this feeling of being complete. I dont think iv ever been able to say that i love myself. That i love being who i am. Thanks for reading all of this.
<3<3<3<3<3<3
-mandie