Why couldn't I just have been a lesbian?
I've asked Kurt, over the span of several weeks to the past few days, to do several things.
1) Please put the key to the mailbox in a place where I have access to it. You keep it with you on your keyring and when you leave the apartment, I have no way to get my mail. Please put it on the kitchen table where we can both use it.
2) Please stop leaving used Q-Tips laying on the bathroom counter. It's disgusting and the trashcan is not even a foot away from you. Kthnxbi.
3) After you shave, please rinse the sink out. I've worked hard to get this bathroom to look somewhat decent, the least you can do is help prevent it from looking like a fucking shambles again. I'm not asking you to scrub it down, just turn the faucet on, rinse the sink so your whiskers aren't littering it. Kthnxbi some more.
4) If you're going to leave for long periods of time, please leave a note so I don't have to worry about you. Plus, if I know what your plans are, I can make others and not waste my time waiting around here for you when you won't be home for a while. Again, not saying "don't ever go out" or "I'm gonna watch over you like a fucking Nazi," just a simple, "hey, lemme know what's up." Kthnx-you-remember-this-one.
Okay, kids, pretty simple, huh? A routine that would seriously deduct a precious 30 seconds out of his day.
Here's where you whip out your number two pencils and don't look at the answers of the person sitting next to you. Pop Quiz.
Q: After Mandi requests Kurt to do these four simple things, which of the following does he do?
a) Leaves the mail key on the kitchen table, but does not do any of the others.
b) Throws away his used Q-Tips, but does not do any of the others.
c) Rinses out the sink after shaving, but does not do any of the others.
d) Leaves notes when he plans to be gone for long periods of time, but does not do any of the others.
e) A combination of the two, any combo will do. (Poetry. Woot!)
f) None of the above.
g) None of the above, then turns around and makes it Mandi's fault for even requesting such nonsense.
If you said "g," congratulations! You win teh internetz!!!!1one!1!!
I'd rather be a lesbian or a hermit right now, I'm just so fucking frustrated.