Possible
Is it possible to love someone so much that you truely dont know what to do with yourself when they are gone? I miss John Watts so much I just dont understand why HE can't see that I miss him like whoa! This is killin me and I am tryin to be so strong but somehow someway I just cant do it anymore, I havent talk to him in over a week and I cant stand this anymore I hate being away from him I just wish he feels the same way. I dont think he does but I am hopin he does. I just wish I wasnt a bitch to him and i want him to see that I have changed because I truely have, I am not a bitch anymore I miss being around him hearin him listenin to his voice listenin to his laugh and everything else that went along with him. I just want him to realize that I miss him a lot and I really want him back that is why I have left him alone this whole week, i just want him to see that so we can both get back into this relationship and be happy like we were. I mean comeon every couple fights, it just aint normal if you dont fight it is a part of a realtionship. Show me one couple that dont fight and I can find like 100 problems with them. I took everything out on him and now I regret everything. I regret him being there for me, he was so sweet to me and look at what I gave to him in return, nothing but a big ass slap in the face every single time. Life without him sucks, all of my friends are in love and with their loves and then you have me in love and I let that one that I love walk right out of my life. This life just isnt fair and I blame Jared for all of this, he just couldnt stand to see me happy, he liked it when I was miserable. I hate him so much for doing this to me and all you keep doing is ignoring me you dont fuckin listen to me anymore Jared. What has gotten into you? I hate that you couldnt stand to see him with me makin me happy i hated it, yeah the last month was horrible but WE COULD FIX IT. I mean look at what he got me through, you passing away, if we can do that together then I am 100% sure that we can work anything out. I just wish that you'd listen to my heart, I LOVE JOHN, he is the love of my life the one I am gonna walk down the isle with and exchange those vows with. He is the one I wanna be with forever and ever!!!!!!!!!!!! Why cant anyone see that I hate my life all that seems to come into is bad! My nana left. my brother left, and now that one that I love so much has left. Why is this happenin to me? I cant do this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!