I keep forgetting to post what happened last week at school!! Bah! So here it is....
I'm typing away at my desk last Thursday in the staff room. The kids have finished up lessons and gone to club activities already. With many teachers helping out with clubs the staff room was pretty quiet and empty. All of a sudden one of my JTEs (Japanese Teachers of English) comes up to me and says, "I'm sorry to interrupt your work, but do you have a moment? The Principal would like to have an interview with you." Now, I can count on one hand the number of times I have spoken with the principal at my school. He's in charge of school administration and I am just a lowly ALT. Pretty much all my dealings outside of class are with the Vice Principal (who I'm desperately hoping to take home as my surrogate father, I love him!), the office ladies, or goofing off with other teachers so needless to say this was, 'abnormal'.
I stumble along after my JTE (Who informs me he will be translating for our "interview") worrying over the possibilities. What could this mean? Am I in trouble? Did I inadvertently commit some horrid cultural faux pas and will be sent home? Did someone catch me doing double the speed limit along route 62 the other night? Shit, what could it be!?!?!? My JTE was not helping matters by briefly turning to me before we entered the office and saying "Just be absolutely honest and forthcoming about everything."
WTF?
In retrospect I am laughing about this situation because they were sooooo, um, "Japanese" about it. If you ever lived here you would know exactly what I'm talking about. The uber politeness, the silences, the tea and goodies, the strict adherence to rules, and the utterly roundabout and not to the point way of dealing with matters. It is also intensely satisfying to know that you made three grown up, professional men *extremely* uncomfortable and squirmy. But of course, I didn't know this at the time.
So, back to Thursday when I was anxiously wringing my hands.
I stepped into the office and was treated to green tea and lovely sweets. We passed the required 5 minutes of pleasantries being interrupted only briefly by the arrival of the vice principal. Ok, this was starting to make me more than a little nervous. The next 10 minutes happened as follows (P= Pricipal, VP=Vice Principal, JTE, and Me), please remember the rather simple English we all have to use to understand each other, and the stilted Japanese politeness....
P - "Do you know these sweets?"
JTE - "They are famous here in Kawanehoncho."
VP - "They have anko and sweet cream inside, I know you love those!"
Me - Oh yes, these are very delicious! I have a seperate stomach for anko!"
JTE - "Well, these are beautiful sweets for a beautiful girl."
P - "Yes, sometimes a beautiful girl such as yourself has to be careful in Japan. We are a safe country, but I think it's good advice for you to be very careful of men. Especially because you are so, um, "unique" looking in Japan."
JTE - We want you to know that if anything happened, or you ever felt uncomfortable you can come to us. Has anyone ever sexually harrassed you?"
Me - "Um, no..... I have always felt very safe in Japan."
VP = "Do you feel safe at work? Has everything been ok?"
I proceed to assure them I'm fine, I will be very safe, and very cautious. That I should be careful of any men inviting me for drinks. They continue to stress I should be wary of coworkers. This is followed by at least 2 minutes of the *most* awkward silence, nervous glances and shuffling of feet I have ever witnessed. I ask if I have done anything wrong and they look completely scandalized I would say anything so bluntly.
JTE - "Oh no, it's just, well um, you see... we have a 'situation'. But, well, it's kind of a secret."
And at this exact minute my Vice Principal *bursts* out laughing. I could have hugged the man, he knew the situation was absolutely ridiculous and just couldn't contain himself anymore. He bursts out amidst his chuckles "Well, haha, a secret that everybody knows!!!"
P and VP chuckle it up and tell me this is a KawaneKoko secret and look expectantly at my JTE who has the best English. He then proceeds to inform me that since I don't speak Japanese I have missed the gossip in the teachers room, and, well "One of the male teachers happens to be in love with you...."
I swear people, I am living in a fucking manga.
They finish up by telling me to be careful and aware, and then are so fucking glad it's over they just about rush me out of the office. On the way back to the staff room I ask my JTE if this was really neccessary all for just a little crush. Well, it turns out that this teacher wrote in his journal about how he has been having dreams about me and his STUDENTS saw it. Oh my god. They are my students too so I can only imagine what will happen in my next class with his Homeroom. I know who it is as well, I'm not oblivious and I knew how he felt. Actually, if I wasn't completely crazy in love with my boy it would be flattering. And considering he is rather young and cute I might take him for a spin, in fact I refer to him with Michael and my friends as "Cutie-sensei". BUT GODDAMN, for once in my life I am being good!!
So today was the day of reckoning. Or rather, it's Japan so today was the day of round-about reckoning. During cleaning time when all the students sweep up, and clean the school (no janitors here, the kids do it all, how bizzarre!) I go and shoot the shit with them and goof off. As I walk by Cutie-sensei's homeroom I notice he is not in the class and the kids are all crowded around something on a desk. I jump in and scare the bajeesus out of them only to realize that they are all READING HIS JOURNAL!!! How do these little beasties do that?!?! Did he just leave it around? They tell me what it is, and then the students proceed to ask me.. "Do you like Cutie-sensei? Do you love him?" (name obviously substituted for privacy). Oh my god. I could have died. Fifteen year olds in my love life. They proceed to tell me "LABU LABU!!" (love love!) Anyway, the teacher next door pokes her head in and jumps in with the gossip. The students *and* the teacher are trying to sway me to like him, and proceed to tell me how much in love with me he is. Oh god. I tell them I already have a boyfriend and they just about die. Screams of "Honto ni?!?!?! YABAI!!!!" ("Really?!?!?! That sucks!!!!") are heard throughout the halls. The teacher tells me it will break his heart. At this point I'm just trying to get the hell outta dodge so I just mime the shush motion and tell them, "Secret Secret!!" and run away.
I swear people, a manga. I am not kidding. Welcome to my life.
Beano, do you want to illustrate one with me?
I stumble along after my JTE (Who informs me he will be translating for our "interview") worrying over the possibilities. What could this mean? Am I in trouble? Did I inadvertently commit some horrid cultural faux pas and will be sent home? Did someone catch me doing double the speed limit along route 62 the other night? Shit, what could it be!?!?!? My JTE was not helping matters by briefly turning to me before we entered the office and saying "Just be absolutely honest and forthcoming about everything."
WTF?
In retrospect I am laughing about this situation because they were sooooo, um, "Japanese" about it. If you ever lived here you would know exactly what I'm talking about. The uber politeness, the silences, the tea and goodies, the strict adherence to rules, and the utterly roundabout and not to the point way of dealing with matters. It is also intensely satisfying to know that you made three grown up, professional men *extremely* uncomfortable and squirmy. But of course, I didn't know this at the time.
So, back to Thursday when I was anxiously wringing my hands.
I stepped into the office and was treated to green tea and lovely sweets. We passed the required 5 minutes of pleasantries being interrupted only briefly by the arrival of the vice principal. Ok, this was starting to make me more than a little nervous. The next 10 minutes happened as follows (P= Pricipal, VP=Vice Principal, JTE, and Me), please remember the rather simple English we all have to use to understand each other, and the stilted Japanese politeness....
P - "Do you know these sweets?"
JTE - "They are famous here in Kawanehoncho."
VP - "They have anko and sweet cream inside, I know you love those!"
Me - Oh yes, these are very delicious! I have a seperate stomach for anko!"
JTE - "Well, these are beautiful sweets for a beautiful girl."
P - "Yes, sometimes a beautiful girl such as yourself has to be careful in Japan. We are a safe country, but I think it's good advice for you to be very careful of men. Especially because you are so, um, "unique" looking in Japan."
JTE - We want you to know that if anything happened, or you ever felt uncomfortable you can come to us. Has anyone ever sexually harrassed you?"
Me - "Um, no..... I have always felt very safe in Japan."
VP = "Do you feel safe at work? Has everything been ok?"
I proceed to assure them I'm fine, I will be very safe, and very cautious. That I should be careful of any men inviting me for drinks. They continue to stress I should be wary of coworkers. This is followed by at least 2 minutes of the *most* awkward silence, nervous glances and shuffling of feet I have ever witnessed. I ask if I have done anything wrong and they look completely scandalized I would say anything so bluntly.
JTE - "Oh no, it's just, well um, you see... we have a 'situation'. But, well, it's kind of a secret."
And at this exact minute my Vice Principal *bursts* out laughing. I could have hugged the man, he knew the situation was absolutely ridiculous and just couldn't contain himself anymore. He bursts out amidst his chuckles "Well, haha, a secret that everybody knows!!!"
P and VP chuckle it up and tell me this is a KawaneKoko secret and look expectantly at my JTE who has the best English. He then proceeds to inform me that since I don't speak Japanese I have missed the gossip in the teachers room, and, well "One of the male teachers happens to be in love with you...."
I swear people, I am living in a fucking manga.
They finish up by telling me to be careful and aware, and then are so fucking glad it's over they just about rush me out of the office. On the way back to the staff room I ask my JTE if this was really neccessary all for just a little crush. Well, it turns out that this teacher wrote in his journal about how he has been having dreams about me and his STUDENTS saw it. Oh my god. They are my students too so I can only imagine what will happen in my next class with his Homeroom. I know who it is as well, I'm not oblivious and I knew how he felt. Actually, if I wasn't completely crazy in love with my boy it would be flattering. And considering he is rather young and cute I might take him for a spin, in fact I refer to him with Michael and my friends as "Cutie-sensei". BUT GODDAMN, for once in my life I am being good!!
So today was the day of reckoning. Or rather, it's Japan so today was the day of round-about reckoning. During cleaning time when all the students sweep up, and clean the school (no janitors here, the kids do it all, how bizzarre!) I go and shoot the shit with them and goof off. As I walk by Cutie-sensei's homeroom I notice he is not in the class and the kids are all crowded around something on a desk. I jump in and scare the bajeesus out of them only to realize that they are all READING HIS JOURNAL!!! How do these little beasties do that?!?! Did he just leave it around? They tell me what it is, and then the students proceed to ask me.. "Do you like Cutie-sensei? Do you love him?" (name obviously substituted for privacy). Oh my god. I could have died. Fifteen year olds in my love life. They proceed to tell me "LABU LABU!!" (love love!) Anyway, the teacher next door pokes her head in and jumps in with the gossip. The students *and* the teacher are trying to sway me to like him, and proceed to tell me how much in love with me he is. Oh god. I tell them I already have a boyfriend and they just about die. Screams of "Honto ni?!?!?! YABAI!!!!" ("Really?!?!?! That sucks!!!!") are heard throughout the halls. The teacher tells me it will break his heart. At this point I'm just trying to get the hell outta dodge so I just mime the shush motion and tell them, "Secret Secret!!" and run away.
I swear people, a manga. I am not kidding. Welcome to my life.
Beano, do you want to illustrate one with me?