A school girls crush
Lately, I've been filled with this nervous excitement. A constant hope that my phone will ring. I haven't really truly felt this way for a while. It's weird. I blame one thing for this new emotion that is keeping me from concentrating on my studies. It's a hard thing to understand, and I don't know why it happens. But it does, every time without a doubt. I get swept up into the sea of emotions and I can't think straight I can't focus and my plans change. It really sucks because I've been reading Dante's Inferno, and if hell is anything like he describes it I would be with The opportunist, forever chasing the banner.
I just don't know how to change this way of being, I've been like this my whole life. I've never had sustained beliefs, and my emotions are forever fleeting. Where does one learn these skills. The ones that help you focus on a goal, to not get side tracked by good opportunities. I feel like I've strayed so far from the straight road and into the dark wood, that I would never be able to even glimpse at the Mt. of Joy.
I hope in the coming weeks to find a way to center myself. To look for my Virgil and Beatrice to lead me out of the dark woods. Even if I were unable to go by way of the Mt of Joy. I hope to at least find my way into the first sphere of Paridiso.
Anyway, the fluttering has yet to subside. I enjoyed the feeling the first day, but it's going on day four now... and it just hurts...
Maybe it's all just a bad case of heartburn...
I just don't know how to change this way of being, I've been like this my whole life. I've never had sustained beliefs, and my emotions are forever fleeting. Where does one learn these skills. The ones that help you focus on a goal, to not get side tracked by good opportunities. I feel like I've strayed so far from the straight road and into the dark wood, that I would never be able to even glimpse at the Mt. of Joy.
I hope in the coming weeks to find a way to center myself. To look for my Virgil and Beatrice to lead me out of the dark woods. Even if I were unable to go by way of the Mt of Joy. I hope to at least find my way into the first sphere of Paridiso.
Anyway, the fluttering has yet to subside. I enjoyed the feeling the first day, but it's going on day four now... and it just hurts...
Maybe it's all just a bad case of heartburn...