(no subject)
Hmm. So today has had a little bit of bad luck, to counter the good luck I had last week.
1) Turns out I left my reader in class. Reader has highlights/notes in it that I kinda need for my last essay. A guy in my class borrowed it to use to stand the projector on (cos it was a bit low) and I forgot to take it back...it would have been sitting on the desk so who knows where it's at now. Plus it doesn't have my name in it, so the only chance I have is that either the tutor picked it up or someone else picked it up wishing to return it to its owner and that maybe I'll get it back on Wednesday. Otherwise I'll pretty much just have to use the one in the Library, minus the highlights/notes which will make the whole process of getting info for my essay a lot more lengthy.
2) Didn't do as well in my essay as I thought I would have. I still did alright but I guess consistently getting the same mark leads you to believe that you couldn't possibly score anything but that. It wasn't the quality of the work though, which was made clear to me by the tutor's comments, but it was the fact I missed parts of the argument that other students had included, and therefore by them including things I had not, my mark automatically decreased.
3) My mother doing this odd kind of reversal on me and not realising that I'm going to London to get away from life here, to get out in the world and to become 'worldly' and more individual. She's trying to way overplan things for me and get me to come back here earlier than I want to so that I can go to America with them. But I actually want to go to America by myself, which I can not stress to her enough.
So many people don't think I can do it, but guess what, they don't know me at all. If you think you've got me pegged you really, really don't.
The condescending nature of people towards me is starting to really piss me off. I've dealt with condescension for many years of my life now and although at times it is easy to brush off and forget about, sometimes it isn't and aside from beating the shit out of the people that are treating me like I'm white trash, there's not much I can think of doing except continuing to live my life in my own way.
I have realised that to an extent I really don't control certain parts of me. They think, feel and understand as a separate entity from the rest of me. These parts act on their own and are an automatic reaction to events in my past. And trust me, I have a lot of secrets, not everyone knows everything about my past so don't think that you can write me out in two sentences.
This anger is bubbling up inside of me ready to be poured out onto the world...
1) Turns out I left my reader in class. Reader has highlights/notes in it that I kinda need for my last essay. A guy in my class borrowed it to use to stand the projector on (cos it was a bit low) and I forgot to take it back...it would have been sitting on the desk so who knows where it's at now. Plus it doesn't have my name in it, so the only chance I have is that either the tutor picked it up or someone else picked it up wishing to return it to its owner and that maybe I'll get it back on Wednesday. Otherwise I'll pretty much just have to use the one in the Library, minus the highlights/notes which will make the whole process of getting info for my essay a lot more lengthy.
2) Didn't do as well in my essay as I thought I would have. I still did alright but I guess consistently getting the same mark leads you to believe that you couldn't possibly score anything but that. It wasn't the quality of the work though, which was made clear to me by the tutor's comments, but it was the fact I missed parts of the argument that other students had included, and therefore by them including things I had not, my mark automatically decreased.
3) My mother doing this odd kind of reversal on me and not realising that I'm going to London to get away from life here, to get out in the world and to become 'worldly' and more individual. She's trying to way overplan things for me and get me to come back here earlier than I want to so that I can go to America with them. But I actually want to go to America by myself, which I can not stress to her enough.
So many people don't think I can do it, but guess what, they don't know me at all. If you think you've got me pegged you really, really don't.
The condescending nature of people towards me is starting to really piss me off. I've dealt with condescension for many years of my life now and although at times it is easy to brush off and forget about, sometimes it isn't and aside from beating the shit out of the people that are treating me like I'm white trash, there's not much I can think of doing except continuing to live my life in my own way.
I have realised that to an extent I really don't control certain parts of me. They think, feel and understand as a separate entity from the rest of me. These parts act on their own and are an automatic reaction to events in my past. And trust me, I have a lot of secrets, not everyone knows everything about my past so don't think that you can write me out in two sentences.
This anger is bubbling up inside of me ready to be poured out onto the world...