wanted: drive to actually work over this break
i have absolutely zero drive to do anything whatsoever today. i spent the afternoon in doctor's offices and pharmacies but i finally have enough drugs to make me forget that i feel bad if not make me feel better. i went by school to pick up some books to start working on my opera paper and my vocal lit midterm but have started on neither (well, i don't count my name and the date on a computer document as started) but at least i have gone to get materials i guess. i swung by my apartment to write kelly a check for the cable but even empty i didn't really want to stick around, it's vacation and i want away from that place as much as possible. andrew and i are supposed to go shopping tomorrow which should be fun even if my head does feel like it's about seven feet off the ground. emmy's gonna be back tomorrow too and i wanted us to have a fun evening with randi and get all dressed up and take sister pictures but i feel like crap on toast and don't particularly want any more pictures of me looking like a drugged out space cadet. i'm supposed to go out to dinner with josh tomorrow night too which should be fun but i hope i feel better b/c i'll feel bad if i go out and *act* like a drugged out space cadet. he's so sweet but i don't know, i still feel weird about the whole thing, it's just not settled and i guess these things take time but it's still really scary for me to be in a relationship again, even one as unofficial and laid back as this. i guess only time'll tell. i'm probably not making any sense i feel all fuzzy and over-emotional right now. i think i'll end this now and lose myself in the mindless fun of wheel of fortune and jeopardy then try to do some homework. much love to the three people who might actually read this.